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I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 1:51:02 AM   
hrxxx


Posts: 294
Joined: 5/13/2013
Status: offline
This checklist should be filled out by a sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. Switches should go through the checklist twice; one person's Dom and sub interests may be very different.
For each item, you need to provide two answers:
• For experience, write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity. Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
• For willingness, indicate for each item how you feel about DOING that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.
o "?" means you don't understand what the item is attempting to describe.
o NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).
o 0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit").
o 1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of you.
o 2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.
o 3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular / occasional basis.
o 4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.
o 5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.
• Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play partners.
• Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the margin to the right. For example under diapers you might wish to distinguish between "wetting" and "soiling".
There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient/target of the activity.
Abrasion :
Age play :
Anal sex :
Anal plugs (small) :
Anal plugs (large) :
Anal plug (public, under clothes):
Animal roles :
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) :
Aromas :
Asphyxiation :
Auctioned for charity :
Ball stretching :
Bathroom use control :
Bestiality :
Beating (soft) :
Beating (hard) :
Blindfolds :
Being serviced (sexual) :
Being bitten :
Breast/chest bondage :
Breath control :
Branding :
Boot worship :
Bondage (light) :
Bondage (heavy) :
Bondage (multi-day) :
Bondage (public, under clothing) :
Breast whipping :
Brown showers (scat) :
Cages (locked inside of) :
Caning :
Castration fantasy :
Catheterization :
Cattle prod (electrical toy) :
Cells/Closets (locked inside of) :
Chains :
Chamber-pot use :
Chastity belts :
Chauffeuring :
Choking :
Chores (domestic service) :
Clothespins :
Cock rings/straps :
Cock worship :
Collars (worn in private) :
Collars (worn in public) :
Competitions (with other subs) :
Corsets (wearing casually) :
Corsets (trained waist reduction):
Cross-dressing :
Cuffs (leather) :
Cuffs (metal) :
Cutting :
Diapers (wearing) :
Diapers (wetting) :
Diapers (soiling) :
Dilation :
Dildoes :
Double penetration :
Electricity :
Enemas (for cleansing) :
Enemas (retention/punishment) :
Enforced chastity :
Erotic dance (for audience) :
Examinations (physical) :
Exercise (forced/required) :
Exhibitionism (friends) :
Exhibitionism (strangers) :
Eye contact restrictions :
Face slapping :
Fantasy abandonment :
Fantasy rape :
Fantasy gang-rape :
Fear (being scared) :
Fisting (anal) :
Fisting (vaginal) :
Flame play :
Following orders :
Food play (cucumbers, sorbet...) :
Foot worship :
Forced bedwetting :
Forced dressing :
Forced eating :
Forced homosexuality :
Forced heterosexuality :
Forced masturbation :
Forced nudity (private) :
Forced nudity (around others) :
Forced servitude :
Forced smoking :
Full head hoods :
Gags (cloth) :
Gags (inflatible) :
Gags (phallic) :
Gags (rubber) :
Gags (tape) :
Gas masks :
Gates of Hell (male) :
Genital sex :
Given away to another Dom (temp) :
Given away to another Dom (perm) :
Golden showers :
Gun play :
Hairbrush spankings :
Hair pulling :
Hand jobs (giving) :
Hand jobs (receiving) :
Harems (serving w/other subs) :
Harnessing (leather) :
Harnessing (rope) :
Having food chosen for you :
Having clothing chosen for you :
Head (give fellatio/cunnilingus) :
Head (rcv fellatio/cunnilingus) :
High heel wearing :
High heel worship :
Homage with tongue (non-sexual) :
Hoods :
Hot oils (on genitals) :
Hot waxing :
Housework (doing) :
Human puppy dog :
Humiliation (private) :
Humiliation (public) :
Hypnotism :
Ice cubes :
Immobilization :
Infantilism :
Initiation rites :
Injections :
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage:
Interrogations :
Kidnapping :
Kneeling :
Knife play :
Leather clothing :
Leather restraints :
Lectures for misbehavior :
Licking (non-sexual) :
Lingerie (wearing) :
Manacles & irons :
Manicures (giving) :
Massage (giving) :
Massage (receiving) :
Medical scenes :
Modeling for erotic photos :
Mouth bits :
Mummification :
Name change (for scene) :
Name change (legal, permanant) :
Nipple clamps :
Nipple rings (piercings) :
Nipple play/"torture" :
Nipple weights :
Oral/anal play (rimming) :
Over-the-knee spanking :
Orgasm denial :
Orgasm control :
Outdoor scenes :
Outdoor sex :
Pain (mild) :
Pain (medium) :
Pain (severe) :
Persona training (in scene) :
Personality modification (RL) :
Phone sex (serving Dom) :
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends):
Phone sex (commercial provider) :
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce):
Piercing (permanent) :
Plastic surgery :
Prison scenes :
Prostitution (public pretense) :
Prostitution (actual) :
Pony slave :
Public exposure :
Punishment Scene :
Pussy/cock whipping :
Pussy worship :
Riding crops :
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.):
Rituals :
Religious scenes :
Restrictive rules on behavior :
Rubber/latex clothing :
Rope body harness :
Saran wrapping :
Scarification :
Scratching - getting :
Scratching - giving :
Sensory deprivation :
Serving :
Serving as art :
Serving as ashtray :
Serving as furniture :
Serving as a maid :
Serving as toilet (urine) :
Serving as toilet (feces) :
Serving as waitress/waiter :
Serving orally (sexual) :
Serving other doms (supervised) :
Serving other doms (unsupervised):
Sexual deprivation (short term) :
Sexual deprivation (long term) :
Shaving (body hair) :
Shaving (genital hair) :
Shaving (head hair) :
Skinny-dipping :
Sleep deprivation :
Sleepsacks :
Slutty clothing (private) :
Slutty clothing (public) :
Spandex clothing :
Spanking :
Speech restrictions (when, what) :
Speculums (anal) :
Speculums (vaginal) :
Spitting :
Spreader bars :
Standing in corner :
Stocks :
Straight jackets :
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) :
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) :
Strap-on-dildos (wearing) :
Strapping (full body beating) :
Suspension (upright) :
Suspension (inverted) :
Suspension (horizontal) :
Supplying new partners for Dom :
Swallowing feces :
Swallowing semen :
Swallowing urine :
Swapping (with one other couple) :
Swinging (multiple couples) :
Tampon training (in ass) :
Tattooing :
Teasing :
TENS Unit (electrical toy) :
Thumbcuffs (metal) :
Tickling :
Triple penetration :
Urethral sounds (metal rods) :
Uniforms :
Including others :
Vaginal dildo :
Verbal humiliation :
Vibrator on genitals :
Violet Wand (electricial toy) :
Voyeurism (watching others) :
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) :
Video (watching others) :
Video (recordings of you) :
Water torture :
Waxing (hair removal) :
Wearing symbolic jewelery :
Weight gain (forced) :
Weight loss (forced) :
Whipping :
Wooden paddles :
Wrestling :
Willingness quick-key:
? Don't understand this item.
* I will do with current sex partner only.
NO I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit).
0 No desire, don't like, will permit if special to Dom (a soft limit).
1 Don't want to do, but will.
2 Willing to do, but has no special appeal.
3 Usually LIKE doing, on an irregular/ occasional basis.
4 LIKE doing, would like it on a regular basis.
5 WILD TURN-ON, would like it as often as possible.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 1:56:16 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I think you should give credit to the author of such an extensive checklist.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 2:04:02 AM   
hrxxx


Posts: 294
Joined: 5/13/2013
Status: offline
Sorry about that

Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List
By Tammad Rimilia

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 2:14:49 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
OK - What would you like to discuss about it?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 2:44:13 AM   
hrxxx


Posts: 294
Joined: 5/13/2013
Status: offline
Well does anybody use checklist?

And do any one have somthing to add to the list?

I have one "imprisonment"

< Message edited by hrxxx -- 5/17/2013 3:00:05 AM >

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 2:59:00 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
We don't. I can see they might be useful to give someone ideas of what limits they should state if they are new and don't have a broad idea of what others might be into. For a relationship, in my opinion, it's a little black and white. Limits change, you try things and realize it didn't feel how you expected, you trust each other and become open to each other's kinks.

I suppose if I were negotiating a scene with a casual play partner it might be of some use, but I'm of the belief that it's better to negotiate what CAN happen, and stick to those things, than to negotiate limits and have something come up that you never thought of.

I'm not sure how clear that was. An example:

-I'm open to spanking by hand, or with a paddle or crop. Flogging is ok. You can tie me up but nothing goes around my throat. Blindfolds are OK. You can call me humiliating names and wax play is fine. --- during the scene the dominant chooses to tie me up, blindfold me and flog me. Everyone is happy.

vs

- My limits are sexual contact, canes and fire. ---during the scene the dominant decides to do a piercing and I freak out. I didn't tell him it was a limit, because I either didn't know that people do that or didn't know how much it would bother me.

For the first instance you don't need a checklist since you will both know what interests you and can bring it up for discussion.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 4:52:26 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
There are numerous checklists floating around on the web, and many find them helpful, most especially in the beginning of a relationship when people are involved in the initial kink exploration phase.

I can think of dozens of things to add to that list, and suspect most people who post here regularly could do so as well. For example, other than fantasy rape play, there are no other role play (RP) scenarios on the list. RP can be as mundane as captive and interrogator or school girl and head master, or a full blown sci fi fantasy (ie helpless virgin being ravaged by the 80 tentacle octopus Dom).

I know of a few people who've tried to come up with a complete kink list and had to admit they failed. The marvel about us kinky human beings is that our creativity is boundless, and most especially when it comes to sex fantasies.





_____________________________



(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 5:01:51 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

There are numerous checklists floating around on the web, and many find them helpful, most especially in the beginning of a relationship when people are involved in the initial kink exploration phase.

I can think of dozens of things to add to that list, and suspect most people who post here regularly could do so as well. For example, other than fantasy rape play, there are no other role play (RP) scenarios on the list. RP can be as mundane as captive and interrogator or school girl and head master, or a full blown sci fi fantasy (ie helpless virgin being ravaged by the 80 tentacle octopus Dom).

I know of a few people who've tried to come up with a complete kink list and had to admit they failed. The marvel about us kinky human beings is that our creativity is boundless, and most especially when it comes to sex fantasies.






Have you been reading my private journals?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 5:13:00 AM   
muhly22222


Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

There are numerous checklists floating around on the web, and many find them helpful, most especially in the beginning of a relationship when people are involved in the initial kink exploration phase.

I can think of dozens of things to add to that list, and suspect most people who post here regularly could do so as well. For example, other than fantasy rape play, there are no other role play (RP) scenarios on the list. RP can be as mundane as captive and interrogator or school girl and head master, or a full blown sci fi fantasy (ie helpless virgin being ravaged by the 80 tentacle octopus Dom).

I know of a few people who've tried to come up with a complete kink list and had to admit they failed. The marvel about us kinky human beings is that our creativity is boundless, and most especially when it comes to sex fantasies.






Have you been reading my private journals?


Actually, I'm pretty sure she was eavesdropping on a conversation I was having with a lovely young lady last night.

_____________________________

I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.
-Woodrow Wilson

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 7:19:58 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx
Well does anybody use checklist?

I do not. I'm more a relationship guy so I go with the "getting to know her" method instead.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 7:26:12 AM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline
What point are you trying to make?

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 7:31:09 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ie helpless virgin being ravaged by the 80 tentacle octopus Dom


Do you have any idea how hard it is to get into that costume? That's why I charge extra...

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 10:10:54 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

Well does anybody use checklist?

Some do, never saw the need though. I prefer just talking. You don't get to know a person by reading a checklist.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 10:13:23 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

Well does anybody use checklist?

And do any one have somthing to add to the list?

I have one "imprisonment"



I have had one submissive who did. I liked it. On the other hand, I've had one submissive who brought her own very well made spreader bar and bindings which was kinda nice too!

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 10:19:39 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
This is a list of BDSM activities.

You can engage in BDSM and never engage in D/s.

You can engage in D/s and never engage in BDSM.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 12:17:20 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

This checklist should be filled out by a sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them.



Ummmmm, okay. I guess.

The thing is, you're assuming that everyone likes to "play". What about people who are not engaging the services of pro Dommes? Or what about people who are 24/7 subs/slaves, and not just serving as "bottoms" to service tops?

You don't seem to realize that there are people (like me) who seek D/s relationships, rather than play partners.

I've been at this for almost 20 years, and I've served many Dommes. But I've never given a Domme a checklist. Instead, we use this thing called "conversation". That's what you call it when two people actually talk to one another. And amazingly, those initial conversations are typically about vanilla things, and not about a laundry list of kinky activities.

Your method is probably an efficient way for a paying customer to transfer information to a pro Domme. But if your desire were to enter into a relationship with a lifestyle Domme, then your method seems like Domme repellant to me.

I guess it all just depends on what you're looking for.

_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 12:34:44 PM   
hrxxx


Posts: 294
Joined: 5/13/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

This checklist should be filled out by a sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them.



Ummmmm, okay. I guess.

The thing is, you're assuming that everyone likes to "play". What about people who are not engaging the services of pro Dommes? Or what about people who are 24/7 subs/slaves, and not just serving as "bottoms" to service tops?

You don't seem to realize that there are people (like me) who seek D/s relationships, rather than play partners.

I've been at this for almost 20 years, and I've served many Dommes. But I've never given a Domme a checklist. Instead, we use this thing called "conversation". That's what you call it when two people actually talk to one another. And amazingly, those initial conversations are typically about vanilla things, and not about a laundry list of kinky activities.

Your method is probably an efficient way for a paying customer to transfer information to a pro Domme. But if your desire were to enter into a relationship with a lifestyle Domme, then your method seems like Domme repellant to me.

I guess it all just depends on what you're looking for.


Sorry but i did not write the list, and i have never use one, i just come a cros it, so i guess sombody is using it

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 2:41:30 PM   
MsEloquence


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/7/2013
Status: offline
I would add "grammar, with particular attention to spelling and apostrophes" to this list.

Edited to add: This rule only applies to native speakers of English
As hrxxx isn't one, he gets to slide

< Message edited by MsEloquence -- 5/17/2013 2:58:15 PM >


_____________________________

Eloquence

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I found this checklist for sub´s online - 5/17/2013 3:02:20 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline
Doesn't the use of a list make the whole thing seem... impersonal, like you are applying for an office temp position? Leg binding, check, ball gags, check, 60 words per minute, check... What ever happened to that old two (or more) people using the nature's own verbal language, and oh, I dunno, talking this stuff out? Or am I just behind da times, and they already made an app for that?

(in reply to MsEloquence)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I found this checklist for subs online - 5/17/2013 3:13:32 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
Last year, I spent a few hours filling out two checklists that totaled 13 pages and then never played with the dude >.<

My new man and I just talked about our interests. And talk again whenever this toy slut finds a new toy

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 20
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