What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties?

What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (Full Version)

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panty20130510 -> What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 7:45:40 PM)
Hi. Thanks in advance for any input you can give me. My questions have to do with what happens at a BDSM club/party. I guess my real question is that I'm trying to deduce what my girlfriend has done in these parties. We've been dating for a few months and are already very serious, and she's told me that she was in a BDSM relationship of sorts with a certain guy, years ago, for a few months. She didn't give me details, except that she's into shibari (Japanese form of tying someone up). I'm terrified, frankly, and really intimidated. Our mutual friend told me last night that my gf and her girlfriend used to go to BDSM clubs/parties, and that they both were somehow involved with this same guy, who was a Dom. Now I'm trying to figure out what it all means. Were they walking around naked, getting whipped in front of a room full of people? Were they getting banged by this guy, or by multiple guys? My mind is racing, and I feel like it's hard to move forward without having some understanding of what this part of her past is like. I just want to know what these relationships are typically like. This is in Los Angeles, if that makes any difference. I know I could ask her, but she's reluctant to talk about it. Please don't respond with "Just accept it," or "Ask your gf." Any insight you could provide me - for better or worse - would be helpful and sincerely appreciated. Thank you so much for your time. [mod edit to remove link spam]

Miyani -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 7:53:10 PM)
How can we possibly know what she did?

Delilya -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 8:05:22 PM)
What possible difference could her past make? Would knowing make you care for her any less? What would you do if she did indeed do all those things? Would you dump her?

LafayetteLady -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 8:09:31 PM)
If you can't deal with her past, then you sure as hell can't move forward. What you should really be doing is examining why having this information is so important to you.

LadyPact -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 8:10:38 PM)
OP, can you honestly tell Me what I did last summer? No? Then I can't tell you what your girlfriend did at a BDSM club, either. You've got a couple of options if you aren't willing to ask her directly. (Personally, I find that to be a lousy approach, but I'm rolling with it.) One is to check out the club rules of the establishment that she attended and see what the dungeon rules allow. Accept the fact that she could have been doing any of those activities or may have not participated in anything at all. The other is to go to the interest list on this site and look at every kinky activity and think she may have done any, all, or none of them. When you are done using your imagination and it puts too much stress in your relationship, maybe then you'll get the courage to ask. OR, you have some kind of inferiority/cuck/insert random kink here that gets you off on that kind of thing. Either way, best of luck.

angelikaJ -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 8:21:45 PM)
Honestly, there is no way of knowing what your girlfriend used to do at BDSM clubs/parties. If this is in her past, why are you feeling "terrified" and "intimidated"? Unless you expected your girlfriend to be a virgin, likely she has had some experiences that are outside of what the two of you have done. If she isn't expressing a need for kink or Dominance and submission dynamics, I don't see the reason for your fears. Some people like kink as a flavor, and some need it as THE main course. Presumably she is with you because she likes you and if sexual intimacy is a part of your equation as a couple, my guess is she likes that part as well. My suggestion to you is to A) read When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Eaton and Catherine A. Liszt and B) Try staying out of your girlfriend's head.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 8:56:14 PM)
~FRing it~ My question is...why should it matter what she used to do before she met you? Obviously you take precautions when you first get with someone, but its the same for vanilla folks as it is for kinky ones. barriers, getting tested for STIs, etc. I can pretty much guarantee someone somewhere along the way has probably seen her naked...maybe even had sex with her too. We all come equipped with pasts. That includes you too. Should your past matter to her given your current relationship? How is what she did in a BDSM club any more pivotal to your relationship than what she might have done with a boyfriend in the privacy of her own home?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 9:04:28 PM)
Dude, your attempt at underhanded advertisement by linking to your sex shop repeatedly is really pathetic. Especially with this retardedly idiotic a question.

graceadieu -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 9:35:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar Dude, your attempt at underhanded advertisement by linking to your sex shop repeatedly is really pathetic. Especially with this retardedly idiotic a question. Oh wow, I didn't even catch that. Gotta love SEO strategies.

DarkSteven -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 9:42:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: panty20130510 I know I could ask her, but she's reluctant to talk about it. Please don't respond with "Just accept it," or "Ask your gf." Any insight you could provide me - for better or worse - would be helpful and sincerely appreciated. Thank you so much for your time. 1. Quit spamming. 2. Get neutered, so you're not tempted.

AVegasMaster -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 9:47:07 PM)
A gentleman NEVER tells!!!!

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 9:54:10 PM)
FR~ ^^^ All of the above ^^^

dcnovice -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 10:13:03 PM)
quote: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? This is a case for the Silent Stalker app, exclusively for the iPhone 69. 7:18 \| Arrived, checked coat. 7:22 \| Powdered nose. 7:29 \| Chatted with acquaintances, caught up on club gossip. 8:01 \| Discussed difficulty of finding twue dominants with fellow subs. 8:24 \| Began eating complimentary doughnut. 8:26 \| Paused as unknown male said, "I love to see a BBW with a healthy appetite." 8:27 \| Threw away remainder of doughnut. 8:29 \| Strolled perimeter of play space, attempting eye contact with attractive doms. 8:37 \| Spotted young, handsome dom who did not appear to live in his mother's basement. 8:41 \| Struck up conversation. 8:43 \| Took heart at his apparent eagerness to talk. 8:46 \| Learned he was gay and was mainly interested in learning where she'd bought her boots. 8:48 \| Told him and moved on. 8:51 \| Murmured "Fuck it!" under her breath and got another doughnut. 8:52 \| Ate doughnut with a vengeance. 8:57 \| Perked up on seeing a former play partner enter the club. 9:02 \| Sashayed (slowly so as not to appear overeager) toward him. 9:09 \| Exchanged greetings with him. 9:12 \| Feigned interest as he showed off new tattoo, depicting Queen Victoria in bondage. 9:15 \| Tried to laugh convincingly as he said, "Between my bicep and my dick, I've reunited Victoria and Albert!" 9:17 \| At his request, took Android photo of the tattoo for him to post on Facebook. 9:19 \| Drew the line at photographing "Albert." 9:23 \| Politely disengaged and wandered off. 9:27 \| Got doughnut. Here, alas, the record ends. My phone lost its charge, so no more Silent Stalking that night. Sorry!

MasterCaneman -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 10:20:39 PM)
One free internet to you! That was hilarious.

Darkfeather -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 10:30:02 PM)
I bet she used to shop at wholesale bdsm dot com with her dom, for all her kinky needs

LizDeluxe -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 10:55:10 PM)
Chinese junk. Ugh.

dcnovice -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 11:22:15 PM)
quote: That was hilarious. Thanks! [:)] I needed the comic relief after a long day.

ARIES83 -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/22/2013 11:46:02 PM)
No need to sugar coat it for the poor man. Panty, I'm quite sure... Shes getting Pounded. Rammed. Ganged... Doing the horizontal conga while people indiscriminately blitzkrieg her luftwaffe... You have my condolences. And stop advertising.

Toysinbabeland -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/23/2013 12:04:56 AM)
She had her penis removed. That's what they do. She's much better this way you know.

Toysinbabeland -> RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? (5/23/2013 12:06:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice quote: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? This is a case for the Silent Stalker app, exclusively for the iPhone 69. 7:18 \| Arrived, checked coat. 7:22 \| Powdered nose. 7:29 \| Chatted with acquaintances, caught up on club gossip. 8:01 \| Discussed difficulty of finding twue dominants with fellow subs. 8:24 \| Began eating complimentary doughnut. 8:26 \| Paused as unknown male said, "I love to see a BBW with a healthy appetite." 8:27 \| Threw away remainder of doughnut. 8:29 \| Strolled perimeter of play space, attempting eye contact with attractive doms. 8:37 \| Spotted young, handsome dom who did not appear to live in his mother's basement. 8:41 \| Struck up conversation. 8:43 \| Took heart at his apparent eagerness to talk. 8:46 \| Learned he was gay and was mainly interested in learning where she'd bought her boots. 8:48 \| Told him and moved on. 8:51 \| Murmured "Fuck it!" under her breath and got another doughnut. 8:52 \| Ate doughnut with a vengeance. 8:57 \| Perked up on seeing a former play partner enter the club. 9:02 \| Sashayed (slowly so as not to appear overeager) toward him. 9:09 \| Exchanged greetings with him. 9:12 \| Feigned interest as he showed off new tattoo, depicting Queen Victoria in bondage. 9:15 \| Tried to laugh convincingly as he said, "Between my bicep and my dick, I've reunited Victoria and Albert!" 9:17 \| At his request, took Android photo of the tattoo for him to post on Facebook. 9:19 \| Drew the line at photographing "Albert." 9:23 \| Politely disengaged and wandered off. 9:27 \| Got doughnut. Here, alas, the record ends. My phone lost its charge, so no more Silent Stalking that night. Sorry! I just laughed so hard the milk went through my nose.

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