RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (Full Version)

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caitlyn -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 1:27:27 PM)

Welcome to the board. [:D]



sensualatina -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 2:33:38 PM)

lol thankksss [:)] i'm still going to sit in the shadows and listen though [8D]



gypsyssoul -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 3:05:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sensualatina

lol thankksss [:)] i'm still going to sit in the shadows and listen though [8D]


i agree with most .. of the pet peeves
but that is what they are .  .
and even if "we" are right ..
they have rights as well ....
:: pops some popcorn and goes to sit with ... sensualtina ...
:: whispers ... sometimes i just watch and learn ...



knightmare6969 -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 3:18:00 PM)

i've seen many references to bad parenting, children running wild, etc.  While in a lot of cases i'd agree that children nowadays are poorly parented, i would like to put my two cents in.

my son is autistic.  He has Aspergers, which is high functioning.  This means he's intelligent, and in most respects, seems as 'normal' as any other eight year old boy.  Until a trigger is hit.  When this happens (his are scent, noise, and touch, usually, as well as feeling threatened) he breaks down.  Communication shuts down, and he screams, yells, hits and reacts in all respects as if he were a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum.

In my house, rules are very strict.  i'm not now in any sort of a BD relationship, but i ensure my children follow routines and are polite, and well behaved.  i can take them into a store such as Toys-R-Us, and spend whatever amount of time there, and leave without purchasing anything with nary a peep.

The comments i've received when he is breaking down tear me up.  i've had threats, been told to just smack him and be done with it, all the way to various comments on my obvious lack of parenting skills.  What you (in the general sense) may not realise is there might be a reason behind the behaviour, from an overtired child, to a condition such as my son's.

So, for me? Unacceptable behaviour is passing judgement for any reason.  Until you know the full situation, you cannot hope to understand what is going on.  As an example, while cashiering, a child next to my station was throwing a tantrum. my customer leaned over and after throwing the father a dirty look, told me, "I suppose you see that sort of thing all the time."

i answered, "Actually, yes, i do.  my son has autism."

She was immediately quiet. 

i don't mean to set anyone off, but thought i just wanted to address the many comments about children. 





sensualatina -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 4:05:23 PM)

i understand where You're coming from with the children and such.. there are some very well behaved children and some not.. and some that just really can't help it.... i'm also not trying to set anyone off or offend anyone.. it's just what i don't like.  Especially after i get up at 6:30, stand for 8 hours straight on my feet. (i know i signed up for it.... but all the screaming and the yelling and the stress.. it's not healthy for anyone... and it doesn't put anyone in any sort of "ooooooooooooooooooooh kids are the besttt" although i have had the pleasure of meeting some extremely adorable kids that You just want to "gobble" up lol )   It's just kind of annoying when the children are running around in the dinning room screaming fighting with their sister or brother.. screaming " no no i want thiss toy I WANT THIS TOY!!" or.. running on the seats (booths) i think a parent can have some sort of hold on that.. i also partially blame McDonalds for not having a spot for children to go run and play and scream.. away from where we serve other people.

But no.. thank You for explaining the situation with Your son.. that's completely understandable (although is till believe most children are just brats.)
I don't believe in smacking the children in public though.. although my mom always had this thing where she would pinch my shoulder if i got a little out of hand.  i do believe in spankings though.. in private if the children deserve it.  Nothing like a stinging butt to set a kid straight.. or get them into a little S&M lol

:: sits with gypsyssoul and learns as well ::
( i completely missed your comment the first time around )



knightmare6969 -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 4:12:02 PM)

i agree with you that most children are poorly behaved.  And, working in retail, i do see the worse behaviour as well.  It's epidemic. 

i think what bothers me is the immediate assumption that my son is a brat, when nothing could be further from the truth.







sensualatina -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 4:33:59 PM)

Thank You for sharing that information, i'll defnitely keep it in mind next time i'm cursing a child in my head while i'm trying to take their order [:D] -- I never say anything to the parents.. i don't feel it's my place.  But really thanks a lot.   [:)]



juliaoceania -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 4:36:13 PM)

People whom I see use the public restroom and leave without washing their hands, of course they touch the door knob on the way out... eeeewwwww

People who think children should be seen and not heard tend to irk me



wandering4u -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/12/2006 6:08:04 PM)

Knightmare.....As someone who works in the field, I admire you greatly. Children like yours are gems but so fragile. I wish you all the best.

It just goes to show that public behavior may seem strange until you know the root cause.  Respect and acceptance is what is needed.

I will now step down from my soapbox!



Aeon -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 12:34:49 AM)

How about these?
People who pull up to the neighbor's house at 6 a.m. and repeatedly honk their car horn to let them know they are there
The neighbor who schedules their lawn maintenance for 8 a.m.     EVERY SATURDAY
People who use the right turn only lane as if it were a merging lane
People who refuse to yield to the freeway off ramp
The whole concept of entitlement in this country
People who contact you solely based on your photos without reading a word of your profile
LYING--to include, bald-faced, half-truths, and selective ommission
Judgement based on assumption (really judgement of any kind, but especially when based on assumption and not fact)
The complete and total corruption of our governmental system
The transformation of the American Dream from life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to wealth, greed and the pursuit of
   "things"



IronBear -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 5:57:27 AM)

In public and on the message boards I dislike those who use txt or sms speach and can't be bothered to write You but insist on posting "U" , Sorry I refuse to read those posts and rarely reply to them it is a major peeve of mine



Lashra -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 8:39:05 AM)

Ohhh Ironbear I have another to add! I just saw a *gentleman* in line at the grocery store reach down into the front of his pants to adjust his equipment in full view of everyone. Now he must have had alot of adjusting to do because he had his hand down their searching for awhile, maybe it was so small that he couldnt find it. Regardless, the clerk saw him and she had a really displeased expression upon her face when she had to take money from his hand.[:'(]

~Lashra




IronBear -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 8:57:06 AM)

Of course lass it wouldn't be that he was having a pubic wank would it? Perhaps he should have passed the hat around too?  Seriously though I agree with you in full view of the public is not the time and place to make ajustments to his wedding tackle.. I always tought the dunny was a better place as they have mirrors to self check too... 



Lashra -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 1:48:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Of course lass it wouldn't be that he was having a pubic wank would it? Perhaps he should have passed the hat around too?  Seriously though I agree with you in full view of the public is not the time and place to make ajustments to his wedding tackle.. I always tought the dunny was a better place as they have mirrors to self check too... 

LMAO wedding tackle, I've never heard that expression before that gave me a chuckle thanks Ironbear[:D]

~Lashra



sephisurrender3d -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 4:46:28 PM)

Ok so everyone has a trait they dislike for a variety of reasons..
 
Having someone from a religious back ground hound me to go to their church bugs me, I turn and say politely "No thank You"
 
Now the whole thing about kids making to much noise or being to active is a BIG issue with me... And its not always the kids that piss me off....
Example being...Master has two children by His ex wife.. His daughter has ADHD and is rather loud and boisterous because her biological mother always treated her like she was stupid and would not allow her to really live and experience life as a child should..Master son has Dandy Walker Syndrom and Hydrosyphalis when He was born rendering Him physically and mentally handicapped...So He is prone to load speech, noises , singing, talking touching and so forth... Waht really pisses me off is to go into the Mall and have adults comment about Him having no right being there disturbing their day...(growls ) Adults down to children walking way out of the way like our son will contaminate them ... Parents pulling their kids away from our son like He is a threat to the child.. Or rude comments from all the above about a child who did not ask to be born with His disabilities..
 
Now add to that i have 4 kids who have been abused and ill admit my parenting skills were lacking a great deal ... Now 3 of my children have ADHD and are hyper 90% of the time , and my oldest is very immature for His age and size... So when we are out sometimes they may not act as many would like but damn it i do my best when out with all of them at once.. We have the same rights to enjoy a day out at a resteraunt, a Mall or where ever same as anyone else..
 
When stopping to judge a mother who is doing her best to quiet a temper tantrum and keep track of  all her charges remember she is not enjoying the spectical any more than you... She feels the stares hears the whispers and is doing her level best to not break down in complete embaressment and tears ... She is most likely horrified and fighting a loosing battle... As a mother who deals with garbage from people who judge i do my best to give a helping hand to a mom who is loosing her dignity, her cool and her patients when dealing with daily tasks..
 
I dislike teenagers running and screaming through the mall.. The only time i have reacted or spoken up is if it has caused harm to a child weather it mine or someone elses...
 
Lets face it folks there is always going to be things that bug us .. The choice is yours if you act as badly as the ones irritating you or being an adult and just bearing with it ...
 
I was shopping recently with my slave sister .. I got dirty looks for putting my arm around her waist while leaning over to look at an item.. It wasnt even anything sexual we are both big girls and i was leaning around her to show her a item on sale..
 
I think this world is getting far to judgemental and unaccepting.. Next time You judge someone remember sooner or later it will be you pissing someone off ....
 
 
have a wonderful night,
 
sephi
 
Oh and if i butchered any words, punctuation or the like my appologies...



cupidringmybelle -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 9:38:25 PM)

quote:


OK so now you all can really let fly and rant about what displays of behaviour you personally find offensive in public. This includes BDSM, Vanilla and anything in between....


The topic of appropriate behavior came up in the 'Ask a Mistress' section in regards to semi-public play.  If its a family friendly venue rather than a BDSM friendly venue, its just darned inconsiderate and inappropriate to subject others to your particular brand of kink.

As for vanilla things I find offensive... long list, but I'll keep it just to the top ten.   ;)

1. Anyone who is not a family member or in close relationship with me taking the liberty of calling me 'sweety, darling, sugar, hon, honey, baby' (insert whatever term of fake endearment that can be used)  It offends me.

2. As I saw mentioned by several people previously -- people who insist on talking on their cell phone at a pitch of three times higher than they would talk to someone sitting next to them.

3.  People who are so obviously verbally challenged that they use foul language in their day-to-day interactions, not caring how inappropriate or offensive it might be to others forced to hear their loud diatribes in stores, on cell phones, in cars, walking down the street, at work, etc..... 

4.  Music coming from three cars in front of me that is so loud it vibrates my car and I can't hear my own radio.  If I wanted to listed to that type of music, I'd have my radio station tuned to it.  The same types tend to drive by my residence at night with the same 'thumping' going on at 2 - 3 a.m.

5.  Again, as others have mentioned -- parents who make no attempt to make their children behave other than a feeble 'If you do that again, we're leaving' or 'If you do that again, Mommy's going to have to put you in time out'... and when they do it again, you hear the same threat over and over, with the parent never following through.  Yep, keep pacifying little Johnny and you'll be posting bail when he fails to realize the police don't make idle threats like Mommy and Daddy used to do.

6.  Parents who have the 'oh no, not MY child' attitude.  The ones who are quick to run to the school and threaten a lawsuit or do their best to make the teacher's life a living hell when their child has had to face a consequence at school for their misbehavior.  I don't blame the school system for the quality of education going downhill -- I blame those parents who threaten the school and whose children are allowed to disrupt the classroom -- making it impossible for the teacher to do his/her job.

7.  People who draw disability and are too 'disabled' to work, but have no problem showing up at their local BDSM club on Friday or Saturday night and take an extreme beating during a scene.  If you're able to participate in physical and sometimes extreme BDSM practices, then you're able to get off your rump and work.  Those not only offend me, they disgust me.

8.  Married men who approach me for a date (or in BDSM those wanting a little 'private play' or a 'discreet relationship')  Again, they not only offend me, they disgust me.

9.   People who are rude, condescending or dismissive of people in public service industries.

10.  People who try to appear intelligent by using words that either aren't real words or they use them completely out of context.  (The most popular one I've noticed recently is: irregardless)  Although this doesn't quite offend me, it does cause me to question their intelligence. 

And that's my top ten.  I have a few more pet peeves, but these are the ones that I felt were worth mentioning.  ;)

Cupid

"Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips"



RexLongBeach -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 10:02:15 PM)

The one thing that's been chapping my hide lately is folks talking in movies. I know, I know, I'm old fashioned that way, but I got to the theatre for the experience of the movie. It's just not the same with the yakkety yakking that goes on if you're in a theatre that is more than 15% full.

It's so bad that people figure it's ok to talk now, even during live music/dance performances. I work a lot of hours... getting to these events is a big deal and I look forward to it. It's frustrating to have them trashed by people who view these venues as just another place to party.

Rex



wildlyincomplete -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 11:17:09 PM)

i don't mean to set anyone off, but thought i just wanted to address the many comments about children. 

From one mama to another, thank you.  I too have children with special needs.  I don't need to say anything else, you have said it all.
 
~beth~



sephisurrender3d -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/13/2006 11:43:08 PM)

As to the post about parents who sue the schools and how its their fault the educational system suck... How about a school that has a teacher that calls the African American children street and project kids, and admits to allowing things to get out of hand because she doesnt know what to do.. Or a principal and guidence councilor who berate a child with documented medical problems till He is crying so hard He almost hyper ventilates, but as soon as they see the parent its all sweetness..This same school being sued in the past for not giving kids with disabilities the education they deserve because they would rather sweep them under the rug or push them off to another school.... Or how about said principal saying your child should be put in a life skills program because He has issues...? Said child has ADHD and is NOT mentally retarded and is capable of learning and advancing into society same as any other child could and would.. The only thing is He may need speech therapy and alittle extra time to do work... Not a whole lot to ask of a school system where we pay our taxes now is?

I am not a mom who thinks their child does not wrong, in fact i know He can be the same as any healthy 11 year old.. But guess what because of teasing , and non stop garbage from said school He is no longer the happy little boy who loved school.. Now He is the sad little boy who would just like to have a friend and not be ganged up on by children ...

Remember people there are always 2 sides to every story.. Try and remember the kids are the ones suffering ... I admit there are kids out there who do cause issues but there are those who are also caught in the middle and have no one to be there for them...

bows out before tempers flare..

well wishes to all..

sephi



agirl -> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? (7/14/2006 3:29:45 AM)

I don't find very much that actually offends me. I find some behaviour a little mystifying though not actually offensive to me.

One of these mystifying things is .......sometimes seeing parents treating their children little better than animals.....screeching * Oi, get 'ere!* at them, in supermarkets or *Shut the fuck up*....they don't seem to talk to their sprogs but yell or bark AT them.

agirl









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