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LafayetteLady -> RE: Too jaded for love or sex? (6/1/2013 6:42:06 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: curious23
quote:
ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
And the point is that it is going to continue to be hard to build that trust when the first thing men see about you is that you are a stripper.
Being a stripper isn't about being "open about your sexuality" either, so don't even try to go there. Perhaps for you, that is why, but for the other girls? No, not about their sexuality at all. I worked in a number of go go bars years ago, and the girls being proud of their sexuality had nothing to do with it. So just get off your little high horse about what being a stripper is.
For whatever reason you have become jaded and unable to trust, it isn't based in the messages you get here. It is something else that happened prior to this. Perhaps you were burned by an ex. I don't know and it doesn't matter to me. It should matter to you. Because you need to come to terms with what went wrong that caused things, your part and what you can do different.
But you will STILL get more messages from guys figuring you are an easy lay, and you know what? They think that because that is what you are telling them in your profile. You obviously don't like that answer, but that doesn't make it less true. No one has advocated that you lie about what you do. I don't lie to anyone about what I do, but it isn't in my profile either. It doesn't need to be, you know why? Because I am NOT my job/career.
But when you lead with your sexuality, that is ALL men see. It's hard enough to get them to think past the concept that BDSM is the equivalent of "easy lay." Why do you want to lead them in that direction if that is not where you want to go? For fuck's sake, write a grown up profile about WHO you are, not what you do. When you receive an email that seems appealing, then embark on a conversation. As that progresses, what you both do for a living will come up. But by then, you will already have an idea if you are interested in the guy, and if he is interested in more than getting a private dance and playing stinky finger with you.
Until you do that, the question of whether a guy is a jerk or not isn't going to go away. Like it or not, your profile reaches out to jerks with a big old freak flag and says, "over here guys!"
So get a grip on reality chickie. People are trying to help you here. If you don't like it, take your toys, go home and figure it out for yourself. But if you think you aren't wondering about these guys because of what you do, then you are deluding yourself.
You TOTALLY missed the point of my original post. Read the whole thread if you care to have your facts straight about the quality and quantity of my messages. As far as stripping goes, it IS about sexuality to ME and I enjoy the hell out of it. Sorry if you didn't but don't group me with you or those you know. Again, read the thread if you care to know what I'm ACTUALLY asking about.
Learn to read or, as you put it, go home. Sorry if I come off as hostile but I hate when people criticize me and what I say based on false information that THEY got wrong.
I and the others saying the same thing have not missed the point of your post. Read the bold part of my response above. I did say it might not be about that for you. For the record, I didn't work as a stripper, I tended bar. I've never had a desire to work as a stripper even though I was constantly asked to do so in the places I worked. I could care less if you are a stripper. Obviously though, you do, or you wouldn't feel such a need to defend your choices. When you grow up a bit, you might figure some of that out.
The fact is, you are coming off as hostile, because you don't like the responses you are receiving. That's one of the trappings of youth, but that will piss you off as well. Look at the part of your response I bolded. You don't like the answers. Nearly everyone who gets responses they don't like says people didn't understand what they were saying.
You didn't get as many jerk off messages, but it does seem that way, I'm sure. Of course, we haven't seen your previous profile, so who knows what you had written in there. You haven't been here that long, and I do mean on the other side, not over here. Less than 2 years. How many times have you changed your profile in that time? Each time you do, it hits the top of the lists and you get an influx of asshole messages.
I stand by my post. In order to stop being jaded, you need to figure out what is causing it. You want some quick fix answer and there isn't one. But a good start is to stop leading with your sexuality if that isn't what you ultimately want out of a relationship. It doesn't work. How do we know? Because we've been here a while and we have had the time to figure these things out.
Of course, you can continue to think that people just don't understand what you are saying. Of course, this isn't the first post where you have made that accusation, so perhaps you should evaluate your communication style a bit.
The way you are doing things now is obviously not working for you, or you wouldn't have made this post. However, it seems you don't want to really fix things. Sometimes the way to stop being jaded is to change how you are doing things. You learn how to trust, but starting to trust. If you honestly believe you are messing things up with "nice guys," and you don't think you need to change the way you are thinking or why that is, then you need help we can't give you.
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