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[Poll]

Truth or manners


Insult the meal saying it wasn't as good as you had hoped
  0% (0)
Lie and say 'It was good, thank you'
  27% (13)
Just say 'thank you'
  66% (32)
In Chef Ramsay style, toss the plate on the floor while screaming
  6% (3)


Total Votes : 48
(last vote on : 7/21/2013 11:19:06 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 3:17:07 AM   
lmpishlilhellcat


Posts: 500
Joined: 8/25/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I don't either. I just make the choice not to go back.

Anyone seen the movie "Waiting" ? Funny movie.


And also the perfect reason not to piss the waitstaff off.


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Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 4:36:57 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I don't either. I just make the choice not to go back.

Anyone seen the movie "Waiting" ? Funny movie.

The only time I've ever sent anything back is when it is obviously overcooked. As long as it's close, I'm good.

Typically, it goes like this.

Waiter "Is everything good?"

Me *cutting into the steak or burger* "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm"

Waiter "that's not rare is it, let me take it back"

Me "OK"

The key is not to obviously bring it to their attention. The key is to let them join you in that 'first looksee' and let THEM say "that's not cooked right is it?".

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 6:25:43 AM   
cordeliasub


Posts: 528
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I don't either. I just make the choice not to go back.

Anyone seen the movie "Waiting" ? Funny movie.

The only time I've ever sent anything back is when it is obviously overcooked. As long as it's close, I'm good.

Typically, it goes like this.

Waiter "Is everything good?"

Me *cutting into the steak or burger* "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm"

Waiter "that's not rare is it, let me take it back"

Me "OK"

The key is not to obviously bring it to their attention. The key is to let them join you in that 'first looksee' and let THEM say "that's not cooked right is it?".



And THIS is an example of a socially nuanced, tactful way of dealing with something

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 6:59:22 AM   
tommonymous


Posts: 404
Joined: 1/21/2013
Status: offline 		Hi JeffBC, since you put a fine point on the business situation I'll address that. You say that giving you exactly what you want is the smart business move, that fulfilling your desire is the establishment's only reason for being.

I'd argue that this isn't the case. I don't think it's smart business to let individual customers dictate best practices. These places (and staff in BOH) have been in their business often for years or decades, sometimes longer. They've developed a sense for what makes for a successful business and what doesn't. They print up menus of dishes or meals they're willing to prepare for a certain price, since they know from experience what works (sells in enough volume to allow the margin to generate profit sufficient to keep the place in business) in their establishment and what doesn't.

The staff know what ingredients they have in the back (The cut and quality of their beef, in this case.) and what preparation will do those ingredients the most good. If I can't trust my servants to make me happy with their expertise, I haven't done a good job selecting my servants. The more I'm investing (whatever the type of capital) in the relationship, the less guidance I want to provide. If I'm at a 5-star, and they're asking for my input on their work product, I think someone, somewhere, messed up. And that someone might well be me.

Re: The oil painting that Carol was recently working on. After you stopped her, did you then grab a brush and "fix" it for her? (I'm thinking about adding steak sauce as an analogue.) Or did you simply ask her to stop at a certain point, which you really liked, and leave it at that? (Analogous to asking for a particular temperature in your steak.)

_____________________________

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And just because it worked for you, doesn't mean it will (or ought to) work for everyone.

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Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 7:34:26 AM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I don't either. I just make the choice not to go back.

Anyone seen the movie "Waiting" ? Funny movie.

The only time I've ever sent anything back is when it is obviously overcooked. As long as it's close, I'm good.

Typically, it goes like this.

Waiter "Is everything good?"

Me *cutting into the steak or burger* "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm"

Waiter "that's not rare is it, let me take it back"

Me "OK"

The key is not to obviously bring it to their attention. The key is to let them join you in that 'first looksee' and let THEM say "that's not cooked right is it?".


This has happened to me before and I'll take the offer if it's bad enough. I can't eat a rare burger, but usually eat around it.
To me, that's a good waiter.

I've seen the movie "Waiting" and is a good example as to one of the reasons I don't like sending food back. That and I wouldn't want to be the reason adding to anyone's stress or bad day.
That customer totally deserved it IMO.

As for the servant thing, that's not how I view them. Whether it is a chef, maid, store clerk, or waitress, I see them as equals. I view it as me paying them for their time and expertise.

ARIES, the feeling of embarrassment is unlikely to change. If I like a person enough, I'll tolerate it (while still feeling embarrassed) but am unlikely to like a person that is constantly forcing me to be uncomfortable. I accept a person as they are as long as they accept me as I am.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 12:28:12 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		so you don't see that it's your problem, not your friend's? strange.

I have sent food back where it is cooked incorrectly for my taste. if i'm asked how I want something cooked then I expect it to be served to me how I asked for it. it's like pasta. forget all this andante crap because it just tastes like uncooked flower to me. I don't like it like that no matter what anyone else tells me I should eat it like. so I will polite ask that it isn't served to me that way, and be cooked for a little longer. if the chef doesn't want to meet my request to serve me food how I can eat it then I don't want him to cook for me. if the food is bad enough that i'd feel the need to send it back I wouldn't be worrying about anything. for a start it's the chef's fault for serving me food I can't eat.....i'm not eating something that isn't the way I asked for it just to be falsely polite (it's like faking an orgasm to save someone else's feelings while my own are ignored by that person, not happening), and if it got to that stage I would never be eating there again anyway

here's the thing about big price tags; people automatically assume that just because you pay a lot for it that it should be the way it is. it would seem that some people think this robs them of the right to ask for it differently. so called top notch doesn't mean they have the right to dictate anything to you. you are still a paying customer with individual tastes. so it's cool to ask for, or listen to advice, but at the end of it all they should do as asked. the more money I pay for something the more I expect my needs to be catered to. i'm paying for a service so they can serve me how I see fit.

needles

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Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 2:02:52 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cordeliasub


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I don't either. I just make the choice not to go back.

Anyone seen the movie "Waiting" ? Funny movie.

The only time I've ever sent anything back is when it is obviously overcooked. As long as it's close, I'm good.

Typically, it goes like this.

Waiter "Is everything good?"

Me *cutting into the steak or burger* "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm"

Waiter "that's not rare is it, let me take it back"

Me "OK"

The key is not to obviously bring it to their attention. The key is to let them join you in that 'first looksee' and let THEM say "that's not cooked right is it?".



And THIS is an example of a socially nuanced, tactful way of dealing with something


Agreed.


_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to cordeliasub)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 2:11:15 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		lol, I just spotted a very silly typo in my last post.....flower indeed....flour.......my brain sometimes gets way ahead of my fingers when typing.

also wanted to add that just because I am displeased with service, or the way my food is cooked doesn't mean I am impolite about saying so.

here in the UK staff generally do not hover over you while you check to see if your food is cooked to your wants. it's kind of expected that it will be, so it's impolite for staff to hover.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

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Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 2:27:14 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I agree, I think everyone should be polite about it. It's never my intention to be rude to wait staff....EVER.


_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 3:22:32 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I agree, I think everyone should be polite about it. It's never my intention to be rude to wait staff....EVER.

Agreed. One of my lenses for glimpsing someone's character is how s/he treats people who aren't in a position to fight back.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Truth or manners - 6/4/2013 3:31:39 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		De gustibus non est disputandum

In matters of taste, there can be no dispute, i.e., it's not up for debate.

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 6/4/2013 3:33:01 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 10:46:59 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I hate to disagree with you Dusky, because I've quoted that to my kids their whole lives but ...

If I'm getting a steak at a place like Landmark Tavern, I would have no trouble asking for steak sauce and I would have expected them to offer it.

But if I'm getting one at La Grenouille or Peter Lugar's, I would expect it not to need sauce. It should already be sauced and flavorful, not needing something to add extra flavor. There, I would explain that it was not up to their usual standard and expect them to fix the situation. I would not expect to have to doctor the steak myself to make it worth eating.

And I would love to have dinner there tonight, ordering quail and a chocolate souffle.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 1:22:58 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP


And I would love to have dinner there tonight, ordering quail and a chocolate souffle.

The best chocolate soufflé is at Emeril's.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 5:35:30 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I had the banana cream pie at Emeril's. It was delicious. I don't think I've ever had a chocolate souffle.

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Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 6:02:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Well it's more upscale to order the Grand Marnier one apparently, but I like chocolate.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 6:05:48 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		That would be a tough choice, Des, but with me, booze wins out.

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Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 6:34:43 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		Right now, I'll take all of the above, please.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 6:50:48 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Omg, I'm dieting o hard right now and y'all are talking chocolate!? Aaaand bananas !?

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Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 9:28:10 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		Oooohhhh....chocolate-covered bananas! I'm so making those this weekend! Haven't had one in a very long time and Saturday is my off-diet day. One day a week - all mine!

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Truth or manners - 6/5/2013 9:51:33 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Sunday is my cheat day. There's a place in memphis called Dinstuhl's chocolates. It's my absolute fav in the world. Their chocolate covered banans are to die for. I think I'd rather get that anyway instead of tribute lol.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to theshytype)
Profile   Post #: 120
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