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Love - 6/6/2013 2:49:59 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Now ther was a recent post on here about who do you love Most people sais Master, Dom and things like that( (if you ised another term insert that.)

Now to my question. If hwe was not you Don,Master whatever if t was plain vanilla woulsd you sill love him?

For me the answer is yes i never believed in love at first sight till i saw him. Sure we talked on the ohone but when i saw him i fell in head over heels, even mors so today than those 7 yeats ago.

Matt's litleone

Post #: 1

RE: Love - 6/6/2013 3:01:35 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Absolutely. We are the best of friends who really enjoy being with each other even if we're doing absolutely nothing.

That said, he's an Alpha personality and that would exist whether he was into D/s or not.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 2

RE: Love - 6/6/2013 3:03:42 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

Carol and I don't think in terms of kink/vanilla since we don't really sit on that spectrum and if we do it's on the vanilla side. But yeah, I loved Carol (enough to act to help her anyway) from the first moment we met.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 3

RE: Love - 6/6/2013 3:11:42 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

My sweetie is more sadist than dominant, and i love him.

Would i love him if he wasn't kinky? Honestly - maybe not, but its a moot point, because i wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place if he was vanilla. I wouldn't have gotten to know him and appreciate his off center sense of humor, and intelligence, his sweet generosity and thoughtfulness.

I would have loved him - his personality and character - but not the sex life, because i do love the kink

.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 4

RE: Love - 6/6/2013 4:14:55 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

If my girl was vanilla, she wouldn't be who she is. I can't say I would love her if she were vanilla because the simple truth is, she's not, and never will be, and I love all of her. Excluding one part negates the totality of what that love is, and the love I share with her does not neatly compartmentalize itself to say "I love this about her, but not that". Sure, some things resonate stronger with her than others, but that's compatibility, not love.

I love her. She is mine. I am hers. That is all.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 5

RE: Love - 6/6/2013 5:33:11 PM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline

Yep our sex is very vanilla but he is still the boss

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 6

RE: Love - 6/6/2013 5:45:57 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I'm drawn to the person, not the kink, so yes....I'd love the man whether he was kinky or not.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 7

RE: Love - 6/6/2013 6:06:47 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

Now ther was a recent post on here about who do you love Most people sais Master, Dom and things like that( (if you ised another term insert that.)

Now to my question. If hwe was not you Don,Master whatever if t was plain vanilla woulsd you sill love him?

For me the answer is yes i never believed in love at first sight till i saw him. Sure we talked on the ohone but when i saw him i fell in head over heels, even mors so today than those 7 yeats ago.

Matt's litleone

Yes, I would still love him. I love the man, not the role or the toys or the sex or the playing. I love him as he is as the personality that is his.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 8

RE: Love - 6/6/2013 6:21:12 PM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

For us...first came love, then came marriage, then came...kink.
So, can I love him without it? I don't see why not since that's how it started. But, we're in such a great place now and so much closer with, I have a difficult time picturing life back to vanilla.
If I ever stopped loving him, I don't believe the lack of kink would be the cause but could be ONE of many things leading up to it.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 9

RE: Love - 6/7/2013 1:52:47 AM

RaspberryLemon

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Of course I would still love him. We are compatible people on all levels, we genuinely like each other and enjoy each others company.

I love him for who he is and he loves me for who I am. Even if my Master did not own me, he would still be assertive/dominant by personality. Likewise, even if he did not own me, I would still defer to him/want to please him, because that is just how my personality meshes with his. Ownership was just the natural progression of that for us.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 10

RE: Love - 6/7/2013 11:23:21 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Yes. Even without that he's still an awesome, smart, interesting, kind, funny, trustworthy, stable, and responsible guy. We still have the same moral code, the same life goals, and enough overlapping interests and hobbies to keep things going. The kink and/or power exchange is a bonus. Even without it, I can't imagine finding another guy who fits me so well.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 11

RE: Love - 6/7/2013 12:33:28 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

One of the reasons we fell in love with each other is because our personalities meshed. And those personalities include him naturally being dominant over his partner and me being submissive toward my partner. So we could see that in each other, which was one of the million reasons we were drawn together.

Some of the other reasons include our character, our love of music, food and movies, and our sense of humor.

However, we came to love each other before he was my dominant...master...daddy...owner. We love the person, not the role.

Our lives look more "vanilla" than M/s so whether or not we are M/s, the love is there. I love him for the whole man that he is.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 12

RE: Love - 6/9/2013 5:16:35 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Thanks to all who answered. I kinda figured the answeres would be the way they turened out. Many more years of love and happiness to you all.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 13

RE: Love - 6/9/2013 8:39:10 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype
So, can I love him without it? I don't see why not since that's how it started. But, we're in such a great place now and so much closer with, I have a difficult time picturing life back to vanilla.

I don't think so much in terms of "can I go back?" But what I know is we've spent 18 years going forward and I see no reason why we can't continue to do so. We changed into M/s when it became appropriate to do so. If it becomes appropriate to change again then I will lead us there instead. To me it seems like just another potential curve in the road... no biggie.

I am for her. She is for me. That's the biggie.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to theshytype)

Post #: 14

RE: Love - 6/9/2013 10:25:19 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

When Master and I first started dating I would have emphatically denied any chance of a life with this man without kink. I was looking for a D/s relationship, full stop. Nothing less.

However, 3 years on and I'd give a very different answer. We now know each other, love each other and we are each other's best friend. If for some reason the kink was to disappear, I have no doubt that we'd find a way to go forward together, happily.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 15

RE: Love - 6/15/2013 6:01:21 AM

goodgirlmary

Posts: 478
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline

Idk, I dont/did not love mine,but I adored him. I guess I mean that I treated everything involving him with reverance and was emotionally connected.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 16

RE: Love - 6/15/2013 9:58:31 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Absolutely. We are the best of friends who really enjoy being with each other even if we're doing absolutely nothing.

That said, he's an Alpha personality and that would exist whether he was into D/s or not.

Although this is true for us as well, part of what attracted him to me was being out as kinky in my OKCupid profile and I would not have dated him had he been vanilla.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 17

RE: Love - 6/15/2013 6:13:42 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

If hwe was not you Don,Master whatever if t was plain vanilla woulsd you sill love him?

Abso-frikkin'-lutely. He is my best friend. I am a 40 yr. old woman and he is a soon-to-be 67 year old man and yet I have more in common with him than anyone of any sex or age I've ever met. We love the same books, music, movies and our opinions and beliefs are extremely similar. I'd be honored to know him no matter our relationship

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 18

RE: Love - 6/16/2013 3:44:44 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Greetings

Me and Aswad are mates and have been together for 15 years both in kink related relationships and not so I would have to say yes, kink or no I love him, though it is very nice that he shares my kinky interests.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 19

RE: Love - 6/16/2013 5:02:45 AM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline

Someday maybe. The kinks are nice but I can't see myself being in love with someone just on kinks alone. I know that limits my search right there. The Domme/sub ratio is already in favor of the Dommes on here. Add the fact I actually like doing vanilla things, makes my search even more difficult. I can go the "vanilla" route but would probably have to downplay my submissive nature. Or the other option is to find a D/s only type of relationship but then probably sacrifice my "vanilla" side.

If its even possible to meet the right Lady who fits both, that would be great. But I also know I'm not getting any younger either and living in reality can't hurt. Maybe I won't ever meet that right Lady and just continue being single. Something has to give. Whats more important? It really all depends.

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 20

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