quote:

ORIGINAL: unepetitesouris

I mean, some are fantastic, that's true, but the masses of messages I get are so pathetic. My profile clearly states, friends only. I get play date requests, to asking if I'll strip on cam.

Most recently, my favorite is. Someone, a Domme, sent me a message "Your name is on the list of users with underage pictures"
I, confused, asked what on earth she meant.

To which I got "I can't help you unless you get on cam and verify for me"

Then when I said no, 'she' started calling me a pedo.

Is it really like this, all the time...

quote:

Most recently, my favorite is. Someone, a Domme, sent me a message "Your name is on the list of users with underage pictures"

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

FR'ing it here:

OP, I've lifted and modified some of these from another site. Feel free to use them to your heart's content, and Mods, the company and website are fake, and the number goes to an automated rejection service. Enjoy!

Wank-Oh!-Matic Response;

Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for submitting your short story/erotic fiction/wish list for Santa to the automated Wank-Oh!-Matic™ hotline!. Our bots are busy evaluating it for possible future publication on our site. As per our agreement entered into upon your totally unsolicited submission to this site, your account has been charged the nonrefundable proofreading fee of $49.99. You will receive a follow up email to your registered Facebook or Yahoo account with our comments. As a bonus for being one of the first to take advantage of this service you will be billed the monthly, discounted fee of only $29.99 for any future submissions.

Please feel free to submit as many future short story/erotic fiction/wish lists as you like at this special discounted price. We look forward to doing business with you for a long time.

Sincerely
Wank-Oh!-Matic™ Proof Reading Department
Copyright© 1997-2013 Wank-Oh!-Matic.com. If you feel you have received this message in error, please call our 24 hour hotline for more information at (727) 214-0568


The Fuck-Off Message

Finally I have found someone who I feel I can communicate my strongest
Urges to knowing from your first message that you will take the greatest
Care with my secrets. The statement I am about to say is not for others to
Know about because without the context of your message it won't make sense.

Others might understand it but I write it for you only. I don't wish this to be
Freely distributed since I don't know to whom it might also be applicable,
For example.

The message is simple. Read the first letter of each line in the two paragraphs above.

The Form Letter Response

We're sorry, but your message could not be delivered for the following reasons:
[ ] Age
[ ] Allcaps "YELLING"
[ ] Asking for phone/IM/sex, payed or otherwise/webcam play/money in initial message
[ ] Cannot take a hint
[ ] Could not read/understand sender's message
[ ] Distance
[ ] Excessive use of ellipses
[ ] Falsely crying "Fake!" to get something
[ ] Force-feeding beliefs, or attacking those of the recipient
[ ] Genital shot or No picture
[ ] Idiocy/Asshattery/Douchebaggery/Shadiness/Rudeness/Creepiness
[ ] Incompatible sexual orientations
[ ] Lack of content, interesting or otherwise, in initial message
[ ] Lack of effort
[ ] Little or no content in sender's profile
[ ] Maturity level, or lack thereof
[ ] Message is determined to be hate mail
[ ] Misleading subject line
[ ] Pictures in profile stolen and/or photoshopped
[ ] Please quit beating the dead horse
[ ] Possible language barrier (sorry, this list only in English currently)
[ ] Recipient looking for friends only
[ ] Repeat offender - Deja poo: We've seen this crap before™.
[ ] Sender complains in initial or subsequent messages about trivial things (religion, weight, personal

relationship choices, etc)
[ ] Sender did not read/comprehend recipient's profile
[ ] Sender is confused what sexual orientation actually means (men cannot be lesbians)
[ ] Sender is unable to handle rejection gracefully
[ ] Sender is unable to grasp basic anatomy or what is physically possible
[ ] S/slashy S/speak
[ ] Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation/Textspeak/Run on sentences
[ ] Suspected Copy/Paste
[ ] Trolling troll is a obvious troll
[ ] Unneeded/Unwanted use of pet names
[ ] Unwarranted fantasy story
[ ] Unwarranted sexism
[ ] Unwarranted/unsolicited/nonsensical assault on recipient's weight and/or aesthetic appearance
[ ] Wall of text

Sorry for the inconvenience. Feel free to try again when you decide to put forth more effort. Any

comments/complaints/concerns/questions you may have are welcome and will be forwarded to our

7000 specialists for review, and will be assigned a number accordingly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: unepetitesouris

I mean, some are fantastic, that's true, but the masses of messages I get are so pathetic. My profile clearly states, friends only. I get play date requests, to asking if I'll strip on cam.

Most recently, my favorite is. Someone, a Domme, sent me a message "Your name is on the list of users with underage pictures"
I, confused, asked what on earth she meant.

To which I got "I can't help you unless you get on cam and verify for me"

Then when I said no, 'she' started calling me a pedo.

Is it really like this, all the time...

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Don't take it personally. As soon as a profile like yours pops up, they'll start coming out of the woodwork. Wait'll you get the poorly written copypasta novellas. They're hilarious, if you let them be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Don't take it personally. As soon as a profile like yours pops up, they'll start coming out of the woodwork. Wait'll you get the poorly written copypasta novellas. They're hilarious, if you let them be.

The novellas are bad, it's true.

But oh dear lord - it's the poetry that hurts