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RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 6:23:43 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

There are things I don't judge and things I do. I've never been afraid to draw my line in the sand or stand up for what I believe in, both on these boards and in my life.

So from what you seem to be saying, is that if one person mentions it, no one else is supposed to forth their opinion, we are all just supposed to agree with whoever said it first? Neither these boards or life works that way. Come to think of it, that would mean you shouldn't keep harping on about something in a completely different post at all. You should just make a comment that you agree with yourself.

Hate to break it to you old timer, but the reason it happens isn't a "mob mentality." It isn't a "clique." It isn't everyone "feeding" off each other. It is simply a bunch of people who share a common opinion. about something. In this case, it is that cheating on your spouse is wrong and an unforgivable act.

It's funny, when we all agree on an opinion that is a good thing (read something you agree with), then we are no longer suffering from this imagined "mob mentality" of yours. Why do you think that is? Seems like you only see it as "bad" behavior when you don't like what is being said. Oh, and of course when the person receiving such opinions is some poor delicate female that needs a big, strong man to protect her.

Why is it that you never jump in to defend the males who come in and get the same exact treatment? Perhaps you might try spending a little time looking in that mirror yourself.

As for me? I don't say these things because you "dare" to put a mirror to my actions. I do it because, quite frankly I disagree with what you say, and I think you suffer from such an extreme case of white knight syndrome and male chauvinism that you can't see reality even when it slaps you in the face.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 141

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 6:33:34 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
But yeah - he's busy with his wife or kids etc - that's the most common and likely reason all these doms disappear for. [/font] [/size] [/color]

Agreed.

And, Cuteness, both Focus50 and I are men. Or, at least, we pretend to be men on the internet. You can never be 100% sure online. But our gender seems to matter to you, so I'm pointing it out.

Thank you both for your thoughts. As for those subs who keep commenting about cheating and this and that then tell all of collar me then cause every person I've ever spoke to is in that situation. You women are just awful. I have met a lot of other subs that are way more classy and respectful. And I will read the threads. Oh and so you know me and my Dom are going strong.

A good number of us women responding to you are NOT subs. Funny thing, this BDSM stuff. It even allows women to be in charge of the men.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

Post #: 142

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 6:37:53 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

The other ladies pretty much have said it in so many words and made a lot messed up comments about things that were inappropriate . To each it's own. I don't mind hearing good and bad but some things were not right.

I realize you still think that we should be very accepting of people cheating on their spouses, but we're not. And it is in no way inappropriate to voice those opinions.

One other thing....the "doms" you are attracting are ones most of us wouldn't want to touch even with someone else's hands.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

Post #: 143

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 7:04:22 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think we're going to have to agree to disagree but I think there's a difference. In My opinion, there's a difference between mob mentality and a number of people who would independently say the same thing regarding a subject they find distasteful and/or unethical in their view. Personally, I wouldn't have cared if I'd have been the first person who responded or the hundredth with the same opinion that a poster is doing something screwed up. Particularly when they are harming other folks.

The people on the thread gave their independent opinions. The fact that most of them happened to agree that cheating is a messed up way to get your (generic you) kink on isn't a mob mentality. Just because the first ten people on the thread say that they think cheating is a bad thing, doesn't mean that the rest of the folks answering the thread are going to say to themselves that they think cheating sucks, but we have the allotment of responders that hold that opinion, so anybody else joining the thread isn't allowed to give their own.

I do have to say, I've never really taken you for somebody who would suggest that folks shouldn't speak their mind. For some reason, I've never gotten the impression from you that, if you thought something was wrong, that you wouldn't call it for what it is just because somebody else had already said their piece. It's entirely possible that I'm incorrect in My estimation on that.

That's what's been happening? Numerous peoples independently expressing a similar opinion?

Kinda like sexyred's first "contribution" to this thread a coupla posts before yours? Independently addressing the topic as opposed to adding to a toxic pile-on at the OP?

Think I'll hafta agree with your opening sentence.... lol

Focus.

Nothing I said was toxic. I told her the truth.

Like you, she cannot handle it.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 144

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 7:43:43 PM

Cuteness2472

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

Yes I know that and also I don't care who any if you want or not want and that's a straight fact. Look I have heard you all ok. You have beated it over and over. Your thoughts your gripes whatever. Oh and another thing ladies a lot of these profiles are kept up cause the Dom wants them up from his subs. Whatever the case maybe the journaling whatever. Everyone has there own story and I am not going to throw stones on anyone or judge.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 145

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 2:39:18 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I did not address the topic, because I did not need to since it was addressed ad nauseum by everyone else.

What prompted my reply, was the OP's behavior at posting something and then freaking out when she did not get the response she wanted.

I get tired of people who start threads with no intention of wanting to hear anything that makes sense. They only want to hear what they want to hear and for that, I would advise NOT posting and asking their friends to just mirror their thoughts.

I still maintain that there is no bandwagon, toxicity or mob mentality here; there is just a bunch of opinionated strangers on a kink site.

I am sure you will still disagree, but they, that is your right.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 146

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 2:51:03 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
What prompted my reply, was the OP's behavior at posting something and then freaking out when she did not get the response she wanted.

I get tired of people who start threads with no intention of wanting to hear anything that makes sense. They only want to hear what they want to hear

Exactly. She knows that what she is doing is wrong, but when a bunch of others state that it is wrong, she has a hissy fit.

It's amazing to me when people get self righteous when a spade gets called a spade.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 147

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 6:02:58 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

Wow, just out of curiosity found my way back onto the boards, guess you could say I was really bored! Nothing has changed. Usual suspects ganging up on the new kid, sad. Thank God, all these Moral Saints, straightened her ass out! As Focus said; mob mentality.

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 148

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 6:27:58 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Oh ffs. you havent posted in what, 4 month?. And you were never really gone. Who are you kidding.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 149

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 6:41:04 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm
Wow, just out of curiosity found my way back onto the boards, guess you could say I was really bored! Nothing has changed. Usual suspects ganging up on the new kid, sad. Thank God, all these Moral Saints, straightened her ass out! As Focus said; mob mentality.

As I understand it, I am being accused of having a mob mentality because I value things like honor and integrity.

I'm cool with that.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 150

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 6:52:38 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

So, you generally judge people ? She asked a question of others, and got her ass handed to her (or so those think), for her business that had zero to do with the question.

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 151

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 7:01:03 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm
So, you generally judge people ?

Of COURSE I judge people. I judge every single person I meet both online and in the real world. Some make the grade. Other's do not. To the best of my knowledge that makes me the same as every other human on the face of the planet (and by "humans" I mean real, actual humans and by "planet" I mean earth.)

quote:

She asked a question of others, and got her ass handed to her (or so those think), for her business that had zero to do with the question.

Yes... and?

Look, there Carol & I were watching a reality TV show and this guy says, "I got into an accident while I was driving drunk. My girlfriend was in the passenger seat and she was unconscious but I thought she was dead. So I dragged her body out of the passenger seat and put her in the driver's seat and when the cops pulled up I told them she was driving."

I judged that guy... harshly. I'm pretty cool with that. When people violate community taboos (in this case honor & integrity) the community tends to react. That would be human nature (and again, I mean real humans). She came to a BDSM discussion board and said she was not an honorable person. What did you expect? As another poster pointed out, what do you think would happen if she just asked random people on the street how they felt about her cheating on her husband. What world do you live in?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 152

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 7:08:19 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

So, you generally judge people ? She asked a question of others, and got her ass handed to her (or so those think), for her business that had zero to do with the question.

She complained he was too busy suddenly. SHE mentioned they were both married.

You think a man who just had a fling on the side wont feel a bit guilty and spend extra time with his family?

You think a man, once he "hits that" will never move on to the next if all "that" is is just a piece of ass until the next one?

School is out... maybe he is busy with the kids?

Marriage could have a very significant part to do with her original question.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 153

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 7:14:27 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks. Maybe if we were on a religious site, then I'd understand.

So my vegan friends would disown me for eating chicken, my friends who don't believe we should be populating the earth any more than it already is who banish me for being a mommy, my Catholic friends would pray for my eternal soul while banning from their sight for being a different religion... Blaah blaah

Again she didn't ask anyone's view of the morality of her soul......

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 154

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 7:15:32 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

Can her dom see this too if he is on CM (or is there a way to turn that off)?

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 155

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 7:18:01 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks. Maybe if we were on a religious site, then I'd understand.

So my vegan friends would disown me for eating chicken, my friends who don't believe we should be populating the earth any more than it already is who banish me for being a mommy, my Catholic friends would pray for my eternal soul while banning from their sight for being a different religion... Blaah blaah

Again she didn't ask anyone's view of the morality of her soul......

Nope.... Man is busy... why... was it something I did?

That was her question.

Man is busy... various reasons to be busy... one of which... married.

You can slide off pedestal and down to the real world. She wouldnt tell her religious friends for just the reasons you mentioned.

We are not her friends. I have no duty to spare her feelings or to sugar coat anything for her... or you.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 156

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 7:20:16 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Can her dom see this too if he is on CM (or is there a way to turn that off)?

he may not even know she addressed this problem if he is on CM. Unless he posts on the message boards, then he may never know.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 157

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 7:20:51 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm
Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks. Maybe if we were on a religious site, then I'd understand.

Perhaps. I've been accused of being unrealistic in the past. You'll have to excuse me though. I'm gonna stick with trying to be a man of honor all the same.

quote:

Again she didn't ask anyone's view of the morality of her soul......

Yet she got it.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 158

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 7:51:20 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks. Maybe if we were on a religious site, then I'd understand.

So my vegan friends would disown me for eating chicken, my friends who don't believe we should be populating the earth any more than it already is who banish me for being a mommy, my Catholic friends would pray for my eternal soul while banning from their sight for being a different religion... Blaah blaah

Again she didn't ask anyone's view of the morality of her soul......

And once again the idiotic claim that because it is a kink site, everyone should be ok with people cheating on their spouses. Ashley Madison is happy to tell you it is ok to cheat on your spouse, most of us here have a bit more integrity than that. Then again, most of us here aren't also blabbing our problems over the internet to a bunch of strangers figuring they will offer some comfort and hot cocoa either.

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 159

RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 8:05:46 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks. Maybe if we were on a religious site, then I'd understand.

So my vegan friends would disown me for eating chicken, my friends who don't believe we should be populating the earth any more than it already is who banish me for being a mommy, my Catholic friends would pray for my eternal soul while banning from their sight for being a different religion... Blaah blaah

Again she didn't ask anyone's view of the morality of her soul......

And once again the idiotic claim that because it is a kink site, everyone should be ok with people cheating on their spouses. Ashley Madison is happy to tell you it is ok to cheat on your spouse, most of us here have a bit more integrity than that. Then again, most of us here aren't also blabbing our problems over the internet to a bunch of strangers figuring they will offer some comfort and hot cocoa either.

For a lifestyle that is full of talk about consent...... why is it some never question the consent of the spouse who doesnt know?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 160

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