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RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 8:06:35 PM   
littlewonder


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

So, you generally judge people ? She asked a question of others, and got her ass handed to her (or so those think), for her business that had zero to do with the question.


Everyone judges. You're doing it just now.


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RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 11:25:20 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks. Maybe if we were on a religious site, then I'd understand.

So my vegan friends would disown me for eating chicken, my friends who don't believe we should be populating the earth any more than it already is who banish me for being a mommy, my Catholic friends would pray for my eternal soul while banning from their sight for being a different religion... Blaah blaah

Again she didn't ask anyone's view of the morality of her soul......



Ahhh you are back to blend your own flavor of attack. I noticed you didn't answer the op. You are here to stir shit up again, fully knowing what is here and how it is. Some do attack, some state facts, some give opinions and some straight talk about things that maybe should be obvious to the op.

This one came in complaining about her dom being different. Duh... he is married. She sends him pictures.. she gives him online kicks. Cool.. but hey, if he is just coming to get some kicks between his time with wife and family, being married, she ought to know how it could go. Then he was the wonderful dom, showing up again.

We don't have to be religious to have some respect or honor when it comes to marriage and family. Are you suggesting that those things don't count if we are here? Figures. After you have blasted the forums with your family drama repeatedly, I get why you have an agenda to come stir shit up. Home getting boring again? A break up about to come about?

What the fuck happened to you? You used to have a personality, were sweet and took part and then... you hooked up... now... you just stir and stir, picking at anything you can, siding with anyone that will assist your brew.


(in reply to tammystarm)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Dom is different - 6/13/2013 11:28:48 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm
So, you generally judge people ? She asked a question of others, and got her ass handed to her (or so those think), for her business that had zero to do with the question.
You don't think so? The fact that she's the other woman might be *exactly* why the dude doesn't have a lot of time for her. His priorities for his time are going to be his wife and his children. That may have been a little different while he was still dedicated to getting past that initial meeting of making sure she'd follow through. Now that he knows she will, he doesn't have to make the same investment. He just has to give her enough to convey that he's still interested in sex with her.



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(in reply to tammystarm)
Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 3:47:38 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks. Maybe if we were on a religious site, then I'd understand.

So my vegan friends would disown me for eating chicken, my friends who don't believe we should be populating the earth any more than it already is who banish me for being a mommy, my Catholic friends would pray for my eternal soul while banning from their sight for being a different religion... Blaah blaah

Again she didn't ask anyone's view of the morality of her soul......



And once again the idiotic claim that because it is a kink site, everyone should be ok with people cheating on their spouses. Ashley Madison is happy to tell you it is ok to cheat on your spouse, most of us here have a bit more integrity than that. Then again, most of us here aren't also blabbing our problems over the internet to a bunch of strangers figuring they will offer some comfort and hot cocoa either.



For a lifestyle that is full of talk about consent...... why is it some never question the consent of the spouse who doesnt know?



Because since we are kinky, we all must have loose morals, be dishonest and openly accept those that are like that as well.


NOT!

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 3:53:11 AM   
tazzygirl


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I honestly cannot condemn someone for having an affair. I was the "mistress" (not Mistress) part of a relationship once. But never with the thought that I would be the cause of them breaking up. Just was never in the cards, for either of us. We had our fling then went our separate ways as my assignment moved.

But, I wont shy away from talking about it when the situation may be a result of that kind of a relationship, like this one. I get that it can happen. But, mine wasnt a lifestyle relationship by any means. I know I couldnt do it now. An affair doesnt require a whole lot of trust.... for me, being a slave requires an enormous amount.

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Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 5:40:05 AM   
chatterbox24


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There seems to be a measure of certain acts being worse then other acts. Spirit vs. body. In actuality any act we decide to do as individuals affects both, there is no separation. It certainly appears that a number of people have became so desensitized to the immoral acts they commit, that one that is different then their own, has to be worse. Therefore, we have judgment calls and here on this forum I think I have seen it called " My kink is better then your kink" or we could say " Your act is worse then my act" and somehow if people all rally together, it makes them right.
I think this has happened before, a long time ago. A really long time ago. People don't have to agree, but there is a difference between judging & bashing, and guidance and steering. ITs perfectly okay to tell someone I do not agree with your actions, but to bash them is not right. Using the internet as an excuse to simply disregard there is a person on the other side, is no excuse at all.
The only human who should throw stones are those who have lived a perfectly moral life, and there isn't one person on the face of this earth, who can say that. And if there was a human who could say it, they would chose not to throw stones.
People make mistakes. People made decisions yesterday they would not make today. What one person learns at 20 another is taught at 40. People do change too.


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Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 9:55:19 AM   
VideoAdminChi


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FR,

This thread is locked for review.

As a reminder, you may attack the post, but not the poster.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 2:40:08 PM   
VideoAdminChi


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Joined: 8/6/2012
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Unlocked. Please return to the topic or normal thread drift.

If anyone wishes to continue the Mob Mentality / Bullies tangent, please do it in Off Topic.

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)
Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 2:44:02 PM   
Cuteness2472


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
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Thank you so much. They made me feel very awful.

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Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 2:47:52 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks.
Cheating isn't a kink. Therein lies the difference.

quote:

So my vegan friends would disown me for eating chicken, my friends who don't believe we should be populating the earth any more than it already is who banish me for being a mommy, my Catholic friends would pray for my eternal soul while banning from their sight for being a different religion... Blaah blaah
If they felt strongly enough about it....yes.

I have called off a friendship with someone that was cheating. Because it meant that they weren't the person that I thought they were. She was willing to sacrifice her family to have sex with someone else rather than dealing with her problems. I didn't want to be a part of it.



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Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 2:56:24 PM   
Focus50


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Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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Does that mean it's still ok for the mob mentality *actions* to continue against the OP, as long as no-one calls it for what it's been? (ahem)

And way to save LL's considerable blushes...! This "Ask a Master" looks more and more an exclusive domain for female opinion only. Ripped off...!

Focus.


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Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 2:58:18 PM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
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quote:

If anyone wishes to continue the Mob Mentality / Bullies tangent, please do it in Off Topic.


To clarify, a discussion of whether or not collarme is full of mob mentality/bullies should have its own thread in Off Topic.

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)
Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 2:59:33 PM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

Does that mean it's still ok for the mob mentality *actions* to continue against the OP, as long as no-one calls it for what it's been? (ahem)


Please create tickets for personal attacks or other TOS violations.

For personal attacks clarification, please see http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4248463

...PARTIALLY some of the items taken into consideration and examples.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ATTACK THE POST, NOT THE POSTER

Here is a good rule of thumb. Any statement that is made that is a “you” statement, that is derogatory in nature, is not going to be allowed.

President Abraham Lincoln was the most stupid president that existed in history because he believed the sky was blue. I’m surprised that he was able to put his pants on correctly in the morning with out help…..ACCEPTABLE.,

To generic collarmemember member. You are the most stupid person I have ever known because you believe the sky is blue. I’m surprised that you are able to put your pants on correctly…. UNACCEPTABLE

To generic collarme member: The idea that the sky is blue is laughable and ludicrous and stupid! Wow. I cant believe anyone believes that! ACCEPTABLE.

To generic collarme member: The idea that the sky is blue is laughable and ludicrous and stupid! Wow. I cant believe you believe that! UNACCEPTABLE.

I can only cover a little bit about the grey area that seems to confuse people, because it is on a case by case basis and is based in large part on INTENT

< Message edited by VideoAdminChi -- 6/14/2013 3:04:49 PM >

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 173
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 4:20:35 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
Crikey, then this thread should only be about 4-5 pages long...! lol

Just kidding; take a breath!

Focus.


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Profile   Post #: 174
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 6:14:36 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
Damn, I forgot the op's question...*looks back*
Perhaps he is just busy with life. Shit happens. But you kinda have to get used to that. It's called being the "other woman".

Onto the other topic: to be honest, I never read any mob mentality comments. I saw where ppl answered her. And truthfully I thought they answered nicely. A lot better than what could have been. But that could be me just siding with my gender.
*pokes Focus*

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Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Dom is different - 6/14/2013 7:37:59 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I think this has happened before, a long time ago. A really long time ago. People don't have to agree, but there is a difference between judging & bashing, and guidance and steering. ITs perfectly okay to tell someone I do not agree with your actions, but to bash them is not right. Using the internet as an excuse to simply disregard there is a person on the other side, is no excuse at all.
The only human who should throw stones are those who have lived a perfectly moral life, and there isn't one person on the face of this earth, who can say that. And if there was a human who could say it, they would chose not to throw stones.
People make mistakes. People made decisions yesterday they would not make today. What one person learns at 20 another is taught at 40. People do change too.



I admit I don't just judge but I bash some people, especially those who cheat on their spouses. To me the only thing lower than someone who cheats on their spouse is pedos. If someone doesn't want to hear the bashing then either don't cheat or don't tell others. But you wanna do something so well....horrible is too nice a word but if I said what I think I would either get a gold letter or be called a Christian bigot or something similar.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Dom is different - 6/15/2013 8:50:22 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Totally unrealistic considering we are on a site for kinks.
Cheating isn't a kink. Therein lies the difference.

quote:

So my vegan friends would disown me for eating chicken, my friends who don't believe we should be populating the earth any more than it already is who banish me for being a mommy, my Catholic friends would pray for my eternal soul while banning from their sight for being a different religion... Blaah blaah
If they felt strongly enough about it....yes.

I have called off a friendship with someone that was cheating. Because it meant that they weren't the person that I thought they were. She was willing to sacrifice her family to have sex with someone else rather than dealing with her problems. I didn't want to be a part of it.



Actually cheating could be defined as a kink. I don't condone cheating, I did it. I also came clean to my husband, who agreed to let me see my dom, to make me happy. I also after much thought don't condone that either. I stopped that. He didn't stop it, the dom didn't stop it, I did. Married, is married, is married. Vows are vows. One can try to make certain things ok in all kinds of ways in their mind, but basically if one is married, and is having sex beyond their marriage whether with consent or not, it is still cheating. I would call that not working on the problem. I would also call it, I am bored with my wife or husband so I go get my jollies elsewhere. If one is getting sex outside of their marriage, I don't care how one tries to label it or spice up the truth. The fact is if someone is added to the relationship, boredom as set in, the spouse is not fulfilling and instead of working on THAT PROBLEM, one or both go outside the marriage. Lovely words of understanding, cloaking truths, makes it beautiful? IT is laughable to me when another sits on a supposed moral high horse, when their condition is not even moral. Ludicrious. Keep preaching it, but it will never be true.
DId the relationship always need additons, or did that come later? hmmmm. points to ponder.
What a good friend, who sits in judgement. When troubles arise, they leave their friends side. Blah. Was this suppose to be impressive?

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I think this has happened before, a long time ago. A really long time ago. People don't have to agree, but there is a difference between judging & bashing, and guidance and steering. ITs perfectly okay to tell someone I do not agree with your actions, but to bash them is not right. Using the internet as an excuse to simply disregard there is a person on the other side, is no excuse at all.
The only human who should throw stones are those who have lived a perfectly moral life, and there isn't one person on the face of this earth, who can say that. And if there was a human who could say it, they would chose not to throw stones.
People make mistakes. People made decisions yesterday they would not make today. What one person learns at 20 another is taught at 40. People do change too.



I admit I don't just judge but I bash some people, especially those who cheat on their spouses. To me the only thing lower than someone who cheats on their spouse is pedos. If someone doesn't want to hear the bashing then either don't cheat or don't tell others. But you wanna do something so well....horrible is too nice a word but if I said what I think I would either get a gold letter or be called a Christian bigot or something similar.



When people speak the truth, whether good or bad, they do out themselves out there to be judged. I see a lot of bitterness and uncalled for remarks many times. When I came here for the first time, I did go crazy on people, and they got exactly everything they said I was as they said it. Did I do it because I was the devils spawn? NO I did it because I acted like the person I was labeled as. I felt like a whipping post. I imagine you know how that feels, right? SInce you admittingly use your body as one. I find that horrible. I find it horrible that someone has lost themselves so much, they have to have someone think for them too.
If we are ranking cheaters and pedophiles in the same group, lets add loss of self and abuse to body to it.


No bashing here, no judgment, just stating my opinion in a very outward way. Lets see how well it is received. I should get thankful responses maybe? Surely one should be thankful for this direct opinion and view.


_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Dom is different - 6/15/2013 9:16:13 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
To the OP

I have been where you are, and I am in no way judging you. I know how bad this thread made you feel, because I once was in your very same position. I felt crushed by things people said to me and felt attacked in every way.
I want you to know, I understand how bad things can get in a marriage, and things go on that can be devastating and how confused we can get. Please don't let peoples words get to you like I let it get to me back then.
I do understand. I wish you happiness in whatever journey you chose and may all your decisions be good ones, that work out well for you.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Dom is different - 6/15/2013 1:17:30 PM   
Cuteness2472


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline
Thank you I understand but my question way back when was him acting different. Everyone went and started judging me and him on our lives which was totally off topic. It wasn't the question. Anyhow thank you for your thoughts. Some of you have privately messaged me and thank you very much.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Dom is different - 6/15/2013 2:43:54 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

Thank you I understand but my question way back when was him acting different. Everyone went and started judging me and him on our lives which was totally off topic. It wasn't the question. Anyhow thank you for your thoughts. Some of you have privately messaged me and thank you very much.


I'm not taking one side or the other, all I want is for you to take a look at this- people brought up both your lives because they were directly related to your question. You seem to think the ones who mentioned your cheating were doing so out of spite. I'm not the only person on this thread that is saying that the man may not have time for you for many reasons, many of which might have to do with the fact that he has a wife and family.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)
Profile   Post #: 180
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