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RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 8:54:49 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		FR

Don't worry about something being 'unsubmissive'. Until you have agreed to submit to someone, you don't have to defer just because they ticked the 'dominant' box on their profile. They're human beings like everyone else. Some like to be pursued, others enjoy doing the chasing, very few people in general will be upset by a friendly expression of interest if you are polite.

Besides, who says what 'submissive' is? Personally I would classify starting a conversation as neither a dominant or a submissive act, just a sociable one. And what's the worst that can happen? They get grumpy because they think subs shouldn't message first, and you get an early warning that this person might not be right for you.



_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 8:56:48 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		All right, men, let's compare notes. How many of you in this thread have gotten messages from eagertoplease88 thus far?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 9:04:48 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It doesn't matter who writes first. So you write him, he reads your profile and says you're too far away and doesn't respond. What have you lost?

What matters is that your interest in each other is equal after you begin talking.

You're willing to be tied up, beaten, used as a fuck toy, but you're too afraid to say "Hi, I love that profile pic. Where did you take it?". You don't see a dichotomy in your risk taking there?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 10:14:59 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eagertoplease88

Baroana, I do not have an inferiority complex. I am shy, and I, like pretty much everyone else, fear rejection, but that doesn't mean that I think I have to wait for Doms to approach me because I am not good enough to go to them. I know that I will make someone a very good slave. I am just new to the online D/s dating scene and I'm curious about how Doms feel about receiving messages and what they like to see in them. I feel like some Doms might prefer to be the one to make contact and some would prefer to be contacted, and I am curious about the reasons for their preferences.



I'm glad to hear that!

What you may want to do, then, is further develop for yourself an idea of what "submissiveness" means to you. Hopefully you do not believe that you need to become someone's doormat or that you cannot be a confident and assertive woman.

I'm not trying to prejudge you. It's just that I was a bit thrown when you stated that you have a fear of messaging a guy who will then be all like "how DARE she speak to me!"

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 10:47:47 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eagertoplease88

Baroana, I do not have an inferiority complex. I am shy, and I, like pretty much everyone else, fear rejection, but that doesn't mean that I think I have to wait for Doms to approach me because I am not good enough to go to them. I know that I will make someone a very good slave. I am just new to the online D/s dating scene and I'm curious about how Doms feel about receiving messages and what they like to see in them. I feel like some Doms might prefer to be the one to make contact and some would prefer to be contacted, and I am curious about the reasons for their preferences.

Coming up with reasons not to do something is pretty common. That's why most people never get what they want. If you want things you've never had, you'll have to do things you've never done.

It will come down to you and what you do, not what others think or do. Always.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 11:20:30 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I rarely bother sending emails to women here because so few of the profiles are anything but spammers.

Also, my history tends to be that relationships tend to flow from contact by a woman,rather than by me.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 12:00:59 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

Coming up with reasons not to do something is pretty common. That's why most people never get what they want. If you want things you've never had, you'll have to do things you've never done.

It will come down to you and what you do, not what others think or do. Always.


Exactly.
I always point out in conversations like these, that life would be pretty limited if we waited till something fell into our laps in order to act. What's wrong with taking personal responsibility for what you want and go out to find and get it? If someone is completely passive and waits for whatever comes to them, they are almost guaranteed to have to accept something substandard. You could get lucky, why not ensure that instead of hope for it?

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 4:57:28 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		OP:

If you're going to send a message, do it for yourself. If something extra comes out of it, so much the better.

I tend to send a "hello" message to anyone who glances at my profile. Maybe a third of them reply. Perhaps two a month can carry on a conversation by cmail beyond two messages. I could probably count on one hand how many still drop a missive my way.

Now mind you, I'm not looking for anyone. I have a one, and she is mine, and I am quite happy with her. I'm always willing to make friends, though I think I have had more luck of that here in forums than in random cmails.

So, write for yourself. Say what you want to say, and see what comes of it. If nothing, you can still enjoy the process.

Best of luck.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 5:04:50 PM   
goodgirlmary


Posts: 478
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline 		I still cannot get my pm function to work

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/19/2013 12:04:56 PM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		I contacted Sir first. I made a specific compliment about His profile and then politely asked Him to view mine. And now, after more than 7 years together, I guess you could say the rest is history!

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Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
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"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to goodgirlmary)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/19/2013 12:09:23 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

I still cannot get my pm function to work

The PM function on this site doesn't work well at all.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to goodgirlmary)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/19/2013 6:04:44 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		I am shy too but I find that the anonymity of email to actually be beneficial--I would NEVER approach an attractive man in person to "pick him up" without having an anxiety attack but online...the worst is they ignore you. I actually met my current guy by emailing him on here. Thought he was cute, liked what he posted, thought his profile was funny & figured no harm would come from telling him that...

It is much easier to take the risk this way then face to face!

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/19/2013 6:20:47 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

I still cannot get my pm function to work

Be sure that you are signed in on the other side when you try to PM someone from the forums.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to goodgirlmary)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/20/2013 6:16:01 AM   
SunTzuSwe


Posts: 82
Joined: 4/25/2013
Status: offline 		Personally I love it if a female sub/slave writes to me.

I believe who writes to who has more to do with stereotypical male/female roles than being Dominant or submissive.
To put it plainly, Women are used to men making first contact and men are used to having to initiate first contact.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/20/2013 11:00:42 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		There are a couple of phrases I think are profound.
How is that working for you?

Is one of them...

(in reply to SunTzuSwe)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/20/2013 10:11:44 PM   
Tezzireth42


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/9/2013
Status: offline 		Greetings fellow forum readers. First off I read the thread topic wrong and thought this was about massages. My bad. Anyway to the point. One thing every person wants is to feel as though someone cares for them. If a woman on here would message me first I would honestly be incredibly happy. Not only would that open the door for conversation but it meant that someone out there took the time to specifically talk to me.

So there is my sentimental two cents. Hopefully that helps you out ^_^

Cheers

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/23/2013 7:07:07 AM   
MasterSignusNova


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/22/2013
Status: offline 		I think there is nothing wrong to get messages from sub women. Sometimes its best for this to happen because its a good positive sign to say what you feel. Sub women should not be shy about thier ideas.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/7/2013 9:23:45 PM   
TearCollector


Posts: 108
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		I dont get many messages. Then again Im not very active on CM. But about years ago, a sub contacted me and that led to about months of chatting late night and hours and hours of laughing and playing. I finally pulled the trigger and moved her in with me. We arent together today. We still keep in touch and keep a friendly relationship. But I think the OP asks a good question here and I think subs should pay attention. Females get lots of messages from guys that will never interest them. Why would you not contact someone that may interest you. I like this thread and even though its been discussed before so what. Do it again. Someone may greatly benefit from it. Just my humble Opinion. For what its worth.

_____________________________

BY conquering jealousy and Mastering forgiveness you will defeat loneliness.

(in reply to MasterSignusNova)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/8/2013 5:30:01 PM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		This may not be what you want but with as many fakes as there are on here, I can see nothing wrong with a submissive starting a conversation to find out if he is real or not. It shows you want to be proactive and know a sub is not someone who ignores everyone else.

Good luck.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/8/2013 5:53:03 PM   
SouthernSensual


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/11/2011
Status: offline 		I just think it is the M/D responsibility to contact the sub....I would hope there was something about my profile that sounded like something he was looking for.

(in reply to mstrj69)
Profile   Post #: 40
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