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RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/8/2013 6:33:44 PM   
MyWay1954


Posts: 23
Joined: 8/3/2011
Status: offline 		Anyone seeking needs to Put themselves out there, risks and all and yes it includes women and/or subs initiating contact.
Think of it this way. You've just spotted the perfect match for you. Personality, body type, interests, education, everything, just perfect.
And they're looking the other way! Do you tap on their shoulder and introduce yourself, or walk away?

(in reply to SouthernSensual)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/8/2013 6:55:57 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SouthernSensual

I just think it is the M/D responsibility to contact the sub....I would hope there was something about my profile that sounded like something he was looking for.


And how's that working for you? Since you're not with anyone, I have to think it hasn't been such a successful strategy.

But don't write saying you want to start a relationship. Ask about their dog if they have a picture of them. I started a friendly conversation once because I just couldn't figure out where their avatar pic was. Think of it as trying to make friends.

Maybe a friend will become a lover and maybe not, but do you really want as a lover someone you aren't friends with?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SouthernSensual)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/10/2013 4:25:02 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

When I log in and see NEW MESSAGES I get all giddy. Normally it's a lovely woman from far away that needs money. Men on this site receive an average of two unsolicited messages a month. So a "Hello, I liked X about your profile" is sufficient to start things up.

It is not "unsubmissive" to open channels of communication. Submitting does not require being weak. When I take a submissive, I want it to be a tiger. But my tiger. Grawr!


You've stated the case perfectly. I must admit that I feel too shy & embarrassed to send unsolicited messages to profiles, so if I can give a piece of advice that I don't take personally, politely message anyone who takes your fancy, see what happens, if nothing happens, your in cyberspace, you're nothing out. But, it could .


_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/13/2013 10:48:12 PM   
TexasMaster66


Posts: 4
Status: offline 		Messages from subs show interest to a perspective Dom, Domme since for the most part subs are overwhelmed by Real Dom Dommes as well as the want to bes seeking subs. Therefore cutting down on the aggravation

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/13/2013 11:20:38 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hey there ~ (to the OP and anyone else)
People are people. Folks like to be noticed for who they are. And frankly, I don't care what they consider themselves. If I like them, I like them. If I have something to say, I say it. None of these fellows or ladies is in a romantic relationship with me, and I'm a pretty strong willed gal. If a man CAN'T handle an email from me, he sure as heck can't handle me the person.

Here's what I do - expect nothing. Say what I have to say. (I'm a fairly polite individual generally, so I don't get gobs of hate mail in return). I can't stop being who I am - a little sassy, somewhat intelligent, kind of silly, and all around loving. I show that. In my several years on CM, I've met quite a few of the fellows that are on here. (And the ladies too!) Sometimes I strike up a conversation, sometimes they do. Until we are busy getting busy, I'm totally gonna be in charge of my own interactions. Any man who doesn't want a strong willed, passionate, sometimes irrational, often expressive gal DOES NOT WANT ME. Again, I have to be who I am.

I know that when we are new to something, we want to "fit in" and respect the social norms. But here are the social norms in a nutshell:

Be yourself

and have fun.

best wishes,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to TexasMaster66)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/14/2013 1:00:29 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		If you want to send messages...then go ahead, simple. Talk about anything and everything, it will show how mature you are and the topics that can generate your interests. I mean no male wants a female that says a few words and then nothing, it sucks. Have a great convo for a few hours, and then see how it felt.

Remember being in this type of relationship means that you can't just paddle, cane, whip all the time, sometimes you just have to sit at the table and talk.....lololol.


_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/17/2013 12:26:05 PM   
Mstrofpatience


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/20/2006
Status: offline 		I am always up for conversation, and rarely solicit those that do not message me first. I have grown tired of those that just post and run away. I want to KNOW that the person I am going to be communicating with really does have an interest in ME and has taken the time to read my profile.
Good luck in your search.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/17/2013 12:37:46 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Submissiveness is not a refuge for someone with an inferiority complex, and that's all I'm going to say.


Kerbingo.

To the OP... It's lovely to get a message from a sub.


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/17/2013 10:31:10 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eagertoplease88
I am curious to know how Dominants feel about receiving what I guess could be called solicitations from submissive females.

I like getting messages from people in general. I LIKE people.

This business of "un-submissive" confuses me. How can you either be submissive or not in the absence of any command? That's this BDSM-submission thing where there are, apparently, lots of rules and whatnot. I'm pretty sure that even under those rules you're allowed to write a dom if you dance in widdershins around your keyboard 3 times before typing.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/17/2013 11:57:51 PM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		It seems to me that a genuine enquiry from anyone on CM, whether they be submissive or dominant is always worth getting .

All initial messages, are by definition going to be vanilla based, unless it's from a loony or a scammer. It's always a pleasure to receive a polite interesting message, it can lead to a really good online friendship, perhaps more.

I guess everyone's self esteem goes up a couple of notches, when someone takes notice of them. I know mine does .

_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/18/2013 12:16:23 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MyWay1954

Anyone seeking needs to Put themselves out there, risks and all and yes it includes women and/or subs initiating contact.
Think of it this way. You've just spotted the perfect match for you. Personality, body type, interests, education, everything, just perfect.
And they're looking the other way! Do you tap on their shoulder and introduce yourself, or walk away?


I must admit, I have a problem initiating contact, not just because I'm submissive, Dominants probably get loads of messages from people like me, they probably just delete 90% of them, as they must get tired of the weird ones . They probably don't even get round to reading mine .

Just by the by, has anyone ever read a profile & thought this is wonderful, we are made for each other, only to find out in the last sentence, that you're the last person on Earth that they would be interested in? Now that's a bit of a downer !






_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to MyWay1954)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 7/18/2013 1:01:00 AM   
hrxxx


Posts: 294
Joined: 5/13/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eagertoplease88

I am curious to know how Dominants feel about receiving what I guess could be called solicitations from submissive females. I feel that if I just wait around for someone to message me, I might not be able to find what I am looking for, but on the other hand it strikes me as kind of forward to send messages to Doms asking if they want to talk to me. To me, it feels kind of un-submissive, but I am also shy, so maybe that is just my excuse for not being more outgoing. I would love to hear some opinions on the matter from Doms. How do you feel about receiving messages from submissive women? What would you like to see in a message from a submissive female who wants to inquire about striking up some kind of relationship?


You should not be afraid to send messages to Dominant if you just are polite and do not start by saying Sir / Master.
Tell what you think of their profile, and tell about yourself and what you are looking for a Dominant Submissive relationship

_____________________________

I have to realize that against stupidity even the gods struggle in vain.

I do not care about your comment! Because I think so little of you!

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 8/4/2013 12:24:02 AM   
JustAMas


Posts: 38
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline 		I would not feel un-submissive to me and you should generally contact people that you like.

(in reply to hrxxx)
Profile   Post #: 53
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