gags and safewords (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

LEOwanted -> gags and safewords (6/14/2013 9:24:37 PM)

Hello :) I am quite new to the lifestyle in most ways, and so I am sorry if I ask something "silly." I have read about how important it is to have a safe word when playing. My question is what to do if a partner uses a gag or something on (or in [:D]) the mouth to where words are not easily, or not at all, understood. Although, I guess this is something I could talk about with a new partner and even request that something like that not be used on me at all until we are very well acquainted.

Any thoughts? Thank you in advance. I am starting to want to branch out from age play, but I am still a little nervous!

taylor



SeekingTrinity -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 9:30:28 PM)

~FRing it~

Having a gagged submissive hum "happy birthday" if in distress has worked well for me. But above all else, I feel it's my responsibility to pay attention to my submissive to gauge what's going on.



shiftyw -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 9:36:11 PM)

I'm also supposed to hum a song (although we agreed that any song would get it across).



LEOwanted -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 9:36:18 PM)

Oh, humming something recognizable is a very good idea. I had only thought of some sort of movement, but that might not be possible. Humming is much more likely to still work. Thank you!



Just0Us0Two -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 9:49:55 PM)

We typically do some sort of obvious motion, usually a slapping motion with one hand, but anything will work. Stomping a foot, whatever. If there's an absolute emergency, they can even kick us to get our attention.



Dreamless -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 10:30:47 PM)

I read some people will hold a ball, and drop it if something goes wrong and they're gagged. Humming would be great if there's nothing else noisy going on, though.



ResidentSadist -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 10:54:01 PM)

I like using "antidisestablishmentarianism" as a safe word. If your mouth is full it sounds like "hemphnurphantiffanmumm".

Alternatively, they can send a text safe word.

Seriously though, you use a visual queue. Like an open hand with fingers spread.




UllrsIshtar -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 11:44:43 PM)

All good advice, I'll add another one, for play where the top doesn't necessarily stay within a short distance of the bottom during play: mores code screaming. A short, long, short scream (or any other combination will get the point across that something is amiss from across the room.

I'd also like to add as an FYI, that, while I think you've gotten very good advice and you should stick to playing only with a safeword in play as a newbie, not everybody uses safewords, or other stop/distress signals during play. For instance, there are forms of play where people don't feel they need safewords because they know each other well enough to never push it to that point. Alternatively there are forms of edge play where the goal is to push the bottom further than they think they can go, and thus deliberately go past the point of where a safeword would usually be given.

Not stuff that's advisable for somebody nervously taking their first steps though, you should probably play with a safeword by default, no matter how well you think you know somebody, until you have at least figured out your own limits. [:)]



BambiBoi -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 11:45:47 PM)

When I first played with gags we used a stick in hand thing. The problem is she kept dropping it when things got exciting. Erring on the side of caution when safewords are used, I would stop. We moved to rapidly opening and closing her hands.

Gags are sexy, but a 2 inch rubber ball can be a bit much to start with. Wiffle-ball looking training gags are worth the $5 so you can decide how much you like gags. Turns out, I dislike being gagged.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 11:47:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I like using "antidisestablishmentarianism" as a safe word.


I use "slechtsschrijvende" with non-Dutch speakers. [:D]



BambiBoi -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 11:49:08 PM)

[image]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/zack3gpics/4de702d1.png[/image]



LadyMondenschein -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 11:52:15 PM)

I was just thinking about  the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" today. Using it as a safe word, fuckin' hilarious!



UllrsIshtar -> RE: gags and safewords (6/14/2013 11:59:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMondenschein

I was just thinking about  the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" today. Using it as a safe word, fuckin' hilarious!


Non-compound languages are silly on how short their "longest word" stays.

Kindercarnavalsoptochtvoorbereidingswerkzaamhedencomitéleden is currently the longest Dutch one.



Just0Us0Two -> RE: gags and safewords (6/15/2013 12:39:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dreamless

I read some people will hold a ball, and drop it if something goes wrong and they're gagged. Humming would be great if there's nothing else noisy going on, though.


A ball is good, so is something that they can flutter, a scarf or the like.



LadyMondenschein -> RE: gags and safewords (6/15/2013 12:42:25 AM)

What does that particular long Dutch word mean? Also, what is the most difficult (according to foreigners and outsiders) word to say in Dutch. 
In Swedish it's the word for 7 or 777 or 777 seaman on the ship Shanghai, but as to how it's spelled, I wouldn't have the first clue how to tell you. It would probably involve letters not included on my regular English letter American Keyboard. I don't even have an umlaut keyboard. :- (  AND for one teaching herself German out of books, that's not a good thing).



LadyMondenschein -> RE: gags and safewords (6/15/2013 12:44:51 AM)

I may be vanilla on THIS message board or collar chat, but on the other, I am proud to say that I've earned the proud moniker of INDECENT. or was it TWISTED. the two pairs of handcuffs one. hell, it's late at nite here, I forgot.



LadyMondenschein -> RE: gags and safewords (6/15/2013 12:46:53 AM)

When you're screaming from the pain, what effort will it take to first drop the ball, then inhale enough air to emit yet another shriek?



ThoughtfulSwitch -> RE: gags and safewords (6/15/2013 1:25:51 AM)

The super long word appears to be "Kid's carnival parade preparatory committee members". Definitely a word you won't use accidentally during play ;-)



Kana -> RE: gags and safewords (6/15/2013 7:45:36 AM)

I'm old school so I resort to the days of yore and have her say, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

When she can't talk, we have pre-arranged hand signals. Or she'll start elbowing me in the side.Hard. Ouch. That shit hurts



DesFIP -> RE: gags and safewords (6/15/2013 8:58:10 AM)

I'm usually bound, gagged and blindfolded.

However what has evolved is my hand motion. If I'm opening and closing one fist slowly that indicates a problem with that wrist going numb.

If I do both quickly, he removes the gag and asks what's wrong if necessary. However he usually knows from the position what I'm having trouble with and will ask about something in particular. To which I just nod.

But he can tell from my body language if things are getting too much for me. If color or temp changes in a bound part, then undo it. If I'm just stiff and flinching, he knows it's too much and I need out and reassurance.

It isn't just my responsibility and he can do whatever unless I safeword. It's his responsibility as well to be in touch with me.



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875