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hello im after information - 6/18/2013 9:00:58 AM   
darknite69


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/13/2013
Status: offline 		wen u r a submissive do u do everything ur master tells u 24/7 or how does it work. im asking so i understand wat my daughter does for him or with him nd does a master tell subs wat they do nd wen to do it how to do it.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 9:08:07 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Yes and no.


He and I have an agreement to have a relationship where he makes the decisions. That doesn't mean that he ignores my input, it just means that the final decision is his. He will tell me if he wants something done and expects it to be done, but again, that is the relationship we agreed to.

He takes his responsibility very seriously.

I also have limits (things I won't do) which either he respects or has as a limit as well. If he told me to do something that went against my limits or I felt was immoral or would cause harm, I would say no and explain my case.

Master and I have been married 13 years and to most people on the outside of D/s BDSM, we appear to have a traditional 1950's style marriage.

But, I'm also going to say that there are many, many levels of WIITWD.

Not everyone is 24/7. Some people are bedroom only. Some people have a mild power exchange. Some people have a complete power exchange.



< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/18/2013 9:24:18 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to darknite69)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 9:13:37 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darknite69

wen u r a submissive do u do everything ur master tells u 24/7 or how does it work. im asking so i understand wat my daughter does for him or with him nd does a master tell subs wat they do nd wen to do it how to do it.

Are you a sub, and a dom has said he wants to do things with you and your daughter? Or is your daughter an adult and a sub, with a dom, and you want to understand her relationship with him?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to darknite69)
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RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 9:16:46 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		He has another post in intros: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4473111/tm.htm

It appears he's just concerned about his daughter.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 9:22:09 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Ok thanks.

In that case, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's like most other things in life. If she makes wise choices, she'll probably end up with a good relationship, and if she makes foolish choices, she'll probably end up with a bad relationship, but there's no guarantees, no matter how wise she is and supportive you are.

You probably don't want to be talking to her too much about her sex life, or about yours. That's a line not many fathers and daughters cross. So maybe ignorance is bliss here, dad.

I think the best you can do is to support her and love her as much as you can, and allow her to explore, succeed and fail with her own sexuality and relationships.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 10:36:28 AM   
cutiewithabootie


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline 		As a submissive it depends on the agreement I have with my Mistress. If we have a part time relationship I submit while I am with her and do my day to day life while I am not.

I try to carry myself at ALL times as the most positive representation of my Mistress as I can be. I try to act in a way that would make them proud.

But I limit my submission with a Mistress to NOT include how I maintain my kids and household. I clearly state that I am a mom first and I don't allow other people to decide what's ok for my kids.

I am the parent for my kids and I don't need or want anyone to fill that spot. Chances are your daughter has certain limitations as well. Some things a person will not do at all. Ever.

What I don't understand is why you would want to know about your family members sexual life. I wouldn't want to know. But that's me.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 10:57:05 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie
What I don't understand is why you would want to know about your family members sexual life. I wouldn't want to know. But that's me.


I think it's more a concern of safety and health, rather than wanting to know about the sex.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
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RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 11:39:23 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

He has another post in intros: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4473111/tm.htm

It appears he's just concerned about his daughter.


I have to admit, that guy deserves a really great father's day present, lol. Instead of jumping down her throat or jumping to conclusions, he is trying to get information so he understands and can know his daughter is safe.

OP, I have to say, your daughter appears to have a really great dad.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 11:40:39 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		if u hav taught your daughter well she will make wise choices and be happy in life. if u have not she may be headed 4 some truble.

if I were u i would ask her about how he makes her feel not sexually but emotionally is she happy? is there NEthing u can do 4 her? is she healthy?

once r children r raised all we can do is 2 hope that we have taught them well.

I need to ask tho is there something specifically that u r worried about?



Peace and comfort,



Michael

P.S.; that hurt

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A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 11:48:35 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		It depends on the relationship. For some people, dominance and submission is just about some kinky fun in the bedroom. For others, it's an ongoing thing. The people in the relationship usually have some agreement about who decides what and how much power the dominant partner has.

(in reply to darknite69)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: hello im after information - 6/18/2013 1:23:47 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		She gets to give her opinion when requested (and an honest answer is expected, not any sycophant slave speak) but I get the final call.
That's the way our deal works

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HST

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: hello im after information - 6/19/2013 10:10:20 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Have you met her boyfriend? Is he a good guy or is he a drug abusing creep?

Because how this works out isn't solely sex and S & M. Here it includes never cooking brussel sprouts or peas. There's nothing unsafe in eating zucchini and broccoli instead.

Does he treat her with love and respect? Or does he call her names in front of you? Is she happy?

Just like any other relationship, if he cares about her then he shouldn't be doing stupid things that put her in jeopardy.

With that said, you need to ask him how he's learned what to do. Is he copying stuff he sees on porn? Because that's bad. Is he reading nonfiction books and going to workshops to learn to do stuff safely? That's good.

Is your daughter learning how to do stuff safely so she can stop him before he makes a mistake that leaves her injured? Because she needs to know what's safe also.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: hello im after information - 6/19/2013 3:33:33 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Is she happy?

This, right here!

You don't need the detail, you only need to see that she's generally outgoing and happy while in this relationship. You ask general relationship questions (how are you and 'X' getting along etc) and you start worrying if her mood drops or she becomes evasive about him.


quote:

Is he reading nonfiction books and going to workshops to learn to do stuff safely? That's good.

Errrr, this not so much.

A), because some of us Doms turned out ok without going this path (ahem) and B), most dads don't need to hear how 'X' is learning about new ways to do daddy's little girl, especially that "safely" is a consideration.

This is better advice for the b/f dom, not her dad.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: hello im after information - 6/19/2013 4:48:52 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Focus: I never said the op should be learning about how to stick needles in someone. But that the bf is learning how to do what he does safely. I think my pronouns got confused.

But if she met a guy who decided they should go hike the Appalachian Trail, a 3500 km hike, any parent would want to know if the guy was qualified to do this. Just because this is sexual doesn't change the fact that safety knowledge is required. The op only needs to know that the bf has learned how, he doesn't need the knowledge of how to himself.

Additionally the op is in his early 40s which makes his daughter somewhere between 18 and 22. An age where people do dumb stuff and think about it afterwards. Better that he makes a point about safety before a suspension fails from sticking a cup hook into sheet rock.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: hello im after information - 6/19/2013 5:10:10 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Focus: I never said the op should be learning about how to stick needles in someone. But that the bf is learning how to do what he does safely. I think my pronouns got confused.


It's too late now that you've put it out there, but I'm saying that the *OP* didn't need to know that his little girl might be getting needles stuck in her at all - meaning that safety isn't a consideration *for the OP*. But yeah, sage advice for the b/f dom.

And OP, if you haven't keeled over from the horror such images may invoke, there are an awful lot of us domly types who aren't into such practises AT ALL. And what Des and I said in our first posts - that as long as your daughter is happy (AND healthy) in the relationship, it's that which matters most and you trust the details to them to work out.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: hello im after information - 6/19/2013 6:19:16 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm not squeamish about talking about sex with my adult kids. Or back when they were younger either, for that matter. So it wouldn't bother me a bit to ask these kinds of questions to make sure they were doing things responsibly. Your squeamishness is your problem.

I don't know if the op and his daughter have a relationship like mine where anything on earth can be discussed. If so, then I see nothing wrong in talking about it.

I have 20 plus years invested in my kids. I have no intention of losing them because I am afraid of talking to them about something this important. Better they be a little embarrassed, or me for that matter, then they do something that could be catastrophic.

The odds are OP, that they've read 50 Shades and are just trying out a little slap and tickle. Some light bondage and pretend sex slave stuff. Do tell them to screw attachment points into studs though, ripping out the sheet rock ceiling and breaking an ankle is nobody's idea of fun.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: hello im after information - 6/19/2013 6:22:20 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		I read his profile and get the feeling he is a dad who probably has heard or seen the "vanilla" view of BDSM (the indiscriminate sex, the misogynistic Dom, the sub "victim")...Funny, but I could see my parents-had they known- being worried, thinking I was getting beaten or being manipulated into stuff...

OP--as long as she is a mentally stable young woman who has had successful relationships before...she will probably be fine. as most people here have mentioned...kinky couples are pretty much the same as vanilla.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: hello im after information - 6/19/2013 6:26:07 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

I read his profile and get the feeling he is a dad who probably has heard or seen the "vanilla" view of BDSM (the indiscriminate sex, the misogynistic Dom, the sub "victim")...Funny, but I could see my parents-had they known- being worried, thinking I was getting beaten or being manipulated into stuff...


That is why I never even hinted at this with my mother. She would have worried. At this point, she adores Master and I think she would be very surprised that we are involved WIITWD since our marriage doesn't fit with what the mainstream media shows.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: hello im after information - 6/19/2013 7:03:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darknite69

wen u r a submissive do u do everything ur master tells u 24/7 or how does it work. im asking so i understand wat my daughter does for him or with him nd does a master tell subs wat they do nd wen to do it how to do it.


Every relationship is different. In my relationship with Master, yes I do everything he tells me to do 24/7. There is never a time I am not his slave. It's just who we are. Think of it as a traditional marriage.

There are others who only submit when they want to. There are others who only do kinky sex and roleplay and there are others who don't submit at all and they just like receiving/giving pain to each other.

The only way you will know is to ask your daughter, although for the life of me I can't understand why she even told you.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: hello im after information - 6/20/2013 2:59:03 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm not squeamish about talking about sex with my adult kids. Or back when they were younger either, for that matter. So it wouldn't bother me a bit to ask these kinds of questions to make sure they were doing things responsibly. Your squeamishness is your problem.


You may not be but then I doubt you have much experience of being a dad to a daughter. Or that it'd surprise you to know that men and women rationalise things differently. Of course, that still leaves our respective cultural differences, maybe. Are you implying that you could and did talk to your dad about your sexual encounters, including in "squeamish" detail?

Here's the dad perspective about daughters. You do what you can to raise them properly (whatever that means). You want them to be healthy and happy and to find the right fella and settle down etc. And to raise their own family, ie grandkids. But as a dad to her, you don't EVER want to here about anyone sticking their dick in your little girl - *that's* crossing a line.

It's not about ignorance or denial because of course we know how babies are made. But we absolutely don't want to know the intimate details of how your own daughter made grandkids - the "stork" is just fine where she's concerned!

And here we are discussing the prospect of someone sticking needles in the OP's daughter - for sexual fun. In real life, I'd be "locked on target" and about to engage if the subject didn't fuckin' drop, NOW!

Celeste, from what I remember of that old "Married with Children" TV show, our cultures aren't that different. I yousta start chuckling when Al Bundy would "escort" one of his daughter's dates out the house because you just knew he was gonna end up face first into the door or door post etc. I could certainly relate that it didn't matter that she's portrayed as a tramp in the show, only that she's *his* daughter.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to DesFIP)
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