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questions?? - 6/18/2013 4:09:16 PM

BrknAngel

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Joined: 6/7/2013
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i am new to collar me and have been bombed with emails from Doms and i realize there is a period of getting to know a person...but what is with the men who send a questionaire...is this something i should avoid?

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 4:15:28 PM

lizi

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It's up to you and what your comfort level is. When my profile is visible and I am looking for someone, I ask for any correspondence to be directed at general subjects instead of sex and kink. If anyone writes to me on intimate subjects, I don't write back. I don't really know what the questionnaires are that you mentioned, if you feel like answering them then write back, if not, then don't.

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 4:28:12 PM

OsideGirl

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My view is:

1) If the first thing that someone asks about is kink and sex...it's probably all they're looking for.

2) If someone was more interested in what I am, rather than who I am, they got shut down.

3) I see no point in discussing the details of my sex life with a stranger. I see no point in discussing it until I think you might actually be someone that I would have sex with.

4) Take it slow. Get to know that person. Remember that until you have met face to face, that person is a stranger to you. Do not get over invested in online interactions...and IMO don't engage in a power dynamic until you have met face to face.

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 4:35:22 PM

BrknAngel

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ty...appreciate your candor

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 6:19:14 PM

Level

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Do they work for the US Census Bureau?

Questionnaires are neither inherently good or bad, they just are.

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One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 6:26:08 PM

DesFIP

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Depends what you're looking for. If being a sub is a service position for you, then a job interview type questionnaire might work for you.

If you're looking for a relationship, then it probably won't be a good fit for you. You get to decide what kind of person you want to meet, and how they go about introducing themselves. They get to do the same. If you match up in attitudes, styles and interests then you have some compatibilities. Where you go from there is up to both of you.

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 6:36:24 PM

BambiBoi

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No one writes up a questionnaire custom for one person. It is likely to be a mass-produced inquiry. If I were in such a target rich environment (i.e. a woman on a kink site) I wouldn't bother with form emails.

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 7:52:55 PM

Rawni

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

No one writes up a questionnaire custom for one person. It is likely to be a mass-produced inquiry. If I were in such a target rich environment (i.e. a woman on a kink site) I wouldn't bother with form emails.

Actually, I used to do this quite a bit when I was getting to know people and wanted some background to assist me in the direction we took. Taylor made. It took many hours, but was well worth it. However, I didn't do it for just anyone. I found the information helped with my memory issues until I knew someone better and we could use them to see any changes that might take place.

To the OP, you can just about disregard most emails you get for the first couple of days. It is truly that bad.

Good luck out there and have fun!

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 8:30:07 PM

TNDommeK

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Idk, I ask questions like that sometimes. It doesn't come in a census bureau style form but I do ask. But then again, I'm a cut and dry type person. So my questions might come off that way. Look at it this way, he might not be trying to waste his time or yours. To me that's a good thing.

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 9:53:41 PM

sunshinemiss

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Sunny Quote of the Day
goes to
Level

for

Questionnaires are neither inherently good or bad,
they just are.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4473492/tm.htm

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 9:55:15 PM

BambiBoi

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Thank you, Lockit, I stand corrected. Was it easy to determine that your questionnaire was a custom inquiry? Or did it look boilerplate at first glance?

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RE: questions?? - 6/18/2013 9:59:02 PM

littlewonder

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I'm betting they're sending her a limits checklist, most likely one of the many templates available online.

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RE: questions?? - 6/19/2013 12:08:48 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Do they work for the US Census Bureau?

Questionnaires are neither inherently good or bad, they just are.

LOL.. this

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RE: questions?? - 6/19/2013 3:07:12 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrknAngel

i am new to collar me and have been bombed with emails from Doms and i realize there is a period of getting to know a person...but what is with the men who send a questionaire...is this something i should avoid?

You should avoid anything (ie, say "no!") to anything that doesn't seem right or appropriate to you. Just like out in the real world.

Anyone online has the right to be a presumptuous arsehole (apparently) but *nothing* obliges you to indulge any of it.

And welcome to CM.

Focus.

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RE: questions?? - 6/19/2013 9:21:05 AM

Rawni

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

Thank you, Lockit, I stand corrected. Was it easy to determine that your questionnaire was a custom inquiry? Or did it look boilerplate at first glance?

No correction in my response. I wasn't coming from that place.

One could tell that the questionnaire was specifically for them and most often it took me a couple days to compile the questions going on what I knew of them, things in their profile and questions I asked most people. It was most often extensive though. However, I gave it within a week of their first email to me and we had some communication even if limited. Only once did I send it right out after one contact and that one was less extensive because I knew less about them and saw less to go off of.

I would continue the practice, but I just don't have the time. Now, I require a phone call because I can tell a lot from that and it almost amounts to the same thing. I do miss them though, as it was the best filter of a few things that even a phone call cannot provide and I could use it to remember things and also to point something out to them, from their own words. It also showed who was sincere about getting to know one another.

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RE: questions?? - 6/19/2013 10:22:20 AM

SwitchNSpanky

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Many on here have more experiance with the "meat market" side than I.(I don't participate there). But if I did. I might do a questionnaire especially if I was looking for a casual kink type partner instead of a girlfriend who might be my wife. I think this might be ok. (but again, I don't know shit about the dating side of this thing)

I would not divulge any email addys or real addresses or any actual personal info until you got to know the person in vanilla settings first. Go slow. Yet. On a site like this.... A question like "would you let your Master gag you with his cock?" might be totally honest. If that's a kink of his he needs scratched for his relationship to work.. More power to him.

And yes. Cock gagging chicks are a required kink of mine. No gaggy.. No play from me. Usually. Lol

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RE: questions?? - 6/19/2013 10:27:03 AM

Rawni

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It might be an honest question... just as anything sexually or kink related, but it is a clueless man that asks such right off the bat.

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RE: questions?? - 6/19/2013 11:20:28 AM

Dyfrynt

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While I agree that a lengthy questionnaire is inappropriate as a first contact, it could be partly because your profile description is completely blank. You say not one word about yourself; who you are, what you desire, what you do not want.

My suggestion - take some time and write a brief couple of paragraphs about yourself. No it won't stop the crazies from writing you! But it will give those who might be serious something to go on.

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RE: questions?? - 6/19/2013 11:21:26 AM

tazzygirl

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I was thinking the same thing.

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RE: questions?? - 6/19/2013 11:25:12 AM

SwitchNSpanky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

It might be an honest question... just as anything sexually or kink related, but it is a clueless man that asks such right off the bat.

Guess I jumped into this topic knee deep. (I never have before. Im usually very private). Ask whatever your curious about. I'll answer. If I can.

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