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Kaliko -> RE: Cyber subs? (6/20/2013 10:42:14 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MrBuild
1) The main point was simple be honest about what you want
2) I never said anything was wrong with Cyber my problem was with the deceit
3) I never said I wanted anyone to meet me in real life immediately.
4) Not being able to see the merit in a topic, does not mean the merit does not exist. It is equally possible that the one who cannot see the merit has clouded vision
5) Stolen picture, the funniest of them all. It's called a Living Social Boudoir photography deal. This is the same picture we use on Google+. Perhaps I should post a few more from the session. Let's see if I'm accused of stealing those as well.
People that are new to all of this might not actually know what they want. Exploring these things online, in the relative safety and anonymity of a website like this, allows them to try on all sorts of different feelings. I'm among the many who believe that cyber anything is not anything like the real thing. (Though, it can be a worthwhile and fun supplement.) But there was a time that I was on websites, talking to others, learning, feeling things out, with no real knowledge of ever being "real time" - because I had no real concept of "real time" versus "cyber." I had barely come to terms with the idea of being "a submissive." It's all just a big ol' learning curve and people these days get thrown at it full speed when they bump into a website like this.
As much as I roll my eyes a bit when I hear others suggest going to munches, finding a mentor, etc., I've come to believe that there probably is a certain value to that advice. Believe me, I cringe when I think of some of the things I've done because I didn't know any better. I'm sure I've embarrassed myself once or twice. That's also why I tend to have a bit of a soft spot for those who come on these boards asking what some people think are stupid questions. (Not you - I mean subs who ask about whether they're supposed to be tied up on the first meet or if they're supposed to not wear underwear the first time they Skype with a guy.) Many people just don't know what they don't know. It probably would be helpful to have someone nearby to smack some of these people upside the head and say "You idiot. Of course you don't want a dominant right now. For pete's sake, you're still fucking married!" (Or whatever the reason.)
If someone is referring to you as "Master" within the first few minutes, yes, you're right, they could be looking for cyber-only and calling you that gets them off, or their submission could have no value. Or,...they could just be inexperienced. Maybe a little naive. Maybe searching for something online that they don't have in their offline worlds and taking those first steps toward realizing what could be. They may be learning what that word even means to them, how it feels to say it or write it, and whether it does mean anything to them or not. Just because you know what it means to you doesn't mean every submissive knows how they feel about it.
I think maybe these submissives may want a real life dominant partner, ultimately, but feel comfortable only taking baby steps there. The alternative is that maybe they are waiting to click with someone so well that their cyber-only barriers are no longer necessary. As DesFip said, they're not necessarily wrong for wanting to wade in the water a little bit at a time, even if their end goal is to have so much more.
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