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Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/19/2013 5:43:58 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		Do any of you struggle with some mental health issues that interfere with being a sub?

I have PTSD that comes out in some OCD ways (read: some serious triggers and phobias). I am in tons of therapy and doing quite well, so I'm not looking for that much advice, just other's experiences.
I'm just wondering if any of you have experienced some of these things and how you and your significant other deal with them/how you initially discussed the topic?
Have you found you found they might hinder or be helped by your relationship?
Are any of your "limits" related to it and is that something you struggle with?
If you're in therapy, is your therapist kink friendly?
and etc.

Thanks in advance guys! I tried to search and didn't find anything that specific- so if there have been threads about this before I apologize!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/19/2013 6:10:30 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		Hah! I am severe ADHD! I have a hard time focusing...horrible time staying still. I also have the impulsive, knee jerk reaction thing where I say something before thinking... Even medicated I wonder how I can possibly be a good sub

One thing that I really struggle with is the disconnect...

< Message edited by TieMeInKnottss -- 6/19/2013 6:12:17 PM >

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/19/2013 6:11:08 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We don't do things to make each other ill.

So he can't put me in inverted suspension as it will bring on an attack of vertigo. In the same way, he doesn't use tape gags or blindfolds on me because they would bring on panic attacks.

For that matter, we don't play for as long as we used to because he needs to eat more frequently since he developed diabetes.

No longer in therapy but my therapist was knowledgeable about alternate sexuality and had no problem with me being in a power relationship. She thought it might well relieve me of the massive stress I was then under.

I didn't discuss my kinks with her because I had no problems sexually.

Forgot to say I'm fourth generation mood disorder. Unipolar depression now thankfully in remission. Generalized anxiety disorder. ADD the non hyperactive form, I'm frequently lost in a daydream.

Coping skills inside a power relationship are no different then coping skills for life in general. Don't do things you know will set off an attack. Do compensate for forgetfulness or lack of focus with lists, with setting multiple alarms. If I didn't have two timers in my kitchen, dinner would be burned nightly.

Do explain your problems and needs to your partner and learn about theirs.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 6/19/2013 6:28:44 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/19/2013 6:17:36 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		I have ADD, which I feel can certainly have an impact on my submission. I also do suffer from Mild Depression from time to time. That can certainly have an impact on me but as long as I take my meds for that, I am usually good there.

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/19/2013 7:08:31 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I have chronic depression. We handle it just like any other loving couple. We talk, he takes notice if I don't catch it, he makes sure I am taking my meds, getting outside, doing the things I'm supposed to do. I do the same for him when he's in the same such predicaments. I don't really see it as having anything to do with bdsm and everything to do with caring and love.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/20/2013 10:48:28 AM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		Sometimes, I suffer from depression and my self-destructive nature has occasionally attacked me when playing.

The last few times were so bad I put myself on a hiatus for a while till I figured out what was causing the attacks - am tentatively going back into things now to see how they run. It's scary but good :)

I treat the triggers as I would a limit, tell my partner of them and avoid stepping on them where possible.

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/20/2013 11:12:39 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

Yes I do. I have Asperger syndrome, I need a very ordered day that do not diverge from my routine, that interfere with spontaneous things me and Aswad might want to do. I also have a very rigid way to sort my interested as many wit Aspergers do and I have a hard time finding where to place my kink interest into that. My main interest is the supernatural in both fact and fiction so I manage to fit being Gorean in there since that comes from science fiction, and off course spiritual and magickal BDSM but the rest are hard to shoe horn into that interest and then I get very conflicted. I know this sounds strange but it is how I am.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/20/2013 1:12:31 PM   
cutiewithabootie


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline 		Depression and anxiety

I had a rough life growing up and punching, kicking, and spitting on my person can be very triggering. I take perscriptions and avoid triggers. My triggers are all limits.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/21/2013 11:36:16 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		I do take my depression just as serious as my ADD. While I am fine on my anti depressant meds, if I don't take them after awhile, then my depression can get to me. Luckily, the local county where I live does help pay for that particular med. I either get it free or maybe a dollar co-pay. So,I am glad to the county where I live, that they at least do help provide coverage for that. Besides that, "coping skills" work wonders too.The beach for me is one of the best and cheapest forms of therapy for me. A simple bike ride or taking a nice walk also helps too.

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 6/21/2013 11:37:11 PM >

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/22/2013 1:13:58 AM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I do take my depression just as serious as my ADD. While I am fine on my anti depressant meds, if I don't take them after awhile, then my depression can get to me. Luckily, the local county where I live does help pay for that particular med. I either get it free or maybe a dollar co-pay. So,I am glad to the county where I live, that they at least do help provide coverage for that. Besides that, "coping skills" work wonders too.The beach for me is one of the best and cheapest forms of therapy for me. A simple bike ride or taking a nice walk also helps too.


I'm with you about the beach, something so peaceful about the water. I love the duality of Blackpool in this way, look behind you and buildings/clubs/life bustling in all it's glory and insanity, look out to sea into vast open-ness and serenity.

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to Charles6682)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 6/22/2013 3:49:10 AM   
goodgirlmary


Posts: 478
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline 		I formerly had a diagnosis of PTSD. Especially as a teenager I struggled with anorexia/bulimia, anxiety and an OCD issue involving compulsive handwashing and over exercising.

(in reply to SoulAlloy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/7/2013 5:20:39 PM   
AnkaRivka


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/30/2013
Status: offline 		Yes, entirely!

I have OCD and have a massive anxiety disorder, which exacerbate one another. My anxiety bleeds in to every social action I have with others, and my over thinking can often interfere with achieving subspace.

I have some extremely mental triggers as a byproduct - serious trust issues that make it almost impossible for me to connect at the level at desire.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/7/2013 5:34:03 PM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline 		I have claustrophobia and being gagged totally freaks me out. I feel like I can't breathe. The Doms I've been with understand it's a limit so it has never been something that affected play.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/8/2013 6:42:14 PM   
MyWay1954


Posts: 23
Joined: 8/3/2011
Status: offline 		Checkout anger issues. All those damn cards stores want me to have drive me ballistic.
Pissed off for days afterward, can't think straight.
Not good

(in reply to smartsub10)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/9/2013 4:03:50 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I've played with gals who had PTSD that altered play. Both came from abusive houses. One gal just shut down if you put hands anywhere near her neck, almost fricken catatonic. Freaked me the funk out.
The other flipped when slapped, she had an immediate kneejerk reaction, almost escape fight or flight mode. Needless to say both cases brought scenes to an instant halt, and usually involved substantial aftercare.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to MyWay1954)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/9/2013 6:22:08 AM   
goodgirlmary


Posts: 478
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I've played with gals who had PTSD that altered play. Both came from abusive houses. One gal just shut down if you put hands anywhere near her neck, almost fricken catatonic. Freaked me the funk out.
The other flipped when slapped, she had an immediate kneejerk reaction, almost escape fight or flight mode. Needless to say both cases brought scenes to an instant halt, and usually involved substantial aftercare.

See I do the opposite. There are shut downs spots, but if someone strangles or slaps me I come back. It's nice that you cared enough to do aftercare. :)

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/9/2013 6:32:20 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I've played with gals who had PTSD that altered play. Both came from abusive houses. One gal just shut down if you put hands anywhere near her neck, almost fricken catatonic. Freaked me the funk out.
The other flipped when slapped, she had an immediate kneejerk reaction, almost escape fight or flight mode. Needless to say both cases brought scenes to an instant halt, and usually involved substantial aftercare.

See I do the opposite. There are shut downs spots, but if someone strangles or slaps me I come back. It's nice that you cared enough to do aftercare. :)

Hell-I needed it!

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to goodgirlmary)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/9/2013 6:35:18 AM   
goodgirlmary


Posts: 478
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline 		Lol why? I never considered dommes might

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/9/2013 7:01:07 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Lol why? I never considered dommes might

Errrr, I'm a guy.

And it's somewhat traumatizing when your mild mannered, genteel, well behaved slut suddenly goes incredible Hulk on ya and starts flipping.

But in sooth, the last comment re me being the one needing aftercare was mostly tongue in cheek. She needed the aftercare, not only for the comedown from the neck touch trauma (It lit old, bad, memories up hardcore and took her back to a place where she was being raped), but also, and this may sound crazy to those who haven't really done TTTWD, also because she was really upset at "ruining the scene." She was worried that she'd let me down, that she had failed somehow and that I would be upset-I had to talk her/take her past and through that.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to goodgirlmary)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Mental Health and Submission.. - 7/9/2013 7:13:49 AM   
MarineKitten


Posts: 68
Joined: 12/21/2012
Status: offline 		ADHD/ADD, OCD, chronic depression, anxiety, and previously diagnosed PTSD. Oh lets not forget the history of suicide attempts. Do I get a fucking cookie now?

It's very hard for me to be happy for myself. My Sir understands this, but sometimes it is just too much for him to take. As far as BDSM goes, it doesn't really affect the play aspect as much as it does the relationship. On the other hand when I sub drop I drop hard.

Can't really think right now, a little too stressed out.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 20
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