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Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/20/2013 10:02:34 AM

outlier

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There was an interesting story on NPR this morning about ritual(s).

http://www.npr.org/2013/06/20/193488219/what-makes-rituals-special-join-us-for-a-google-conversation

It was prompted by studies which indicate that for some people
eating is more pleasurable when accompanied by ritual. Even when
just eating a carrot. Forbes article with link to original:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/hbsworkingknowledge/2013/06/03/the-power-of-rituals-in-eating-grieving-and-business/?partner=yahootix

There are also studies showing that rituals help people to preform better in sports.

http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/publications/observer/obsonline/silly-sports-rituals-think-again.html

So rituals would seem to help with performance and lead to extra pleasure. Some associations
with BDSM are multiple and obvious. Some are more subtle. What are your thoughts?

< Message edited by outlier -- 6/20/2013 10:20:43 AM >

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/20/2013 10:25:09 AM

SimplyMichael

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I heard this as well, its not surprising. Rituals can be quite powerful.

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/20/2013 10:44:21 AM

nephandi

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Greetings

I always say grace before I eat and I do think that such a simple ritual do indeed enhance my enjoyment of the meal. I thank the Goddess and the God that I have good on the table and am more thankful and appreciative as I eat, or at least I try to be.

A meal can be enhanced by setting. I mean you can be out of money so all you can make is a bit of pasta and cheese, however if you set a table nicely with candle light, nice glasses and do something out of it and share that simple meal with someone you love it will taste allot better than if you just show it into your face in front of the TV, and setting a table and having candle light and nice, tall glasses can also be seen as a ritual.

For me rituals are a very important part of my day. I do magickal and spiritual rituals and also for BDSM ritual is a big thing for me, having a ritual where I kneel and kiss Aswad's feet when he comes home for example is very meaningful. For me ritual enchances a good session just like candle light enhances a good meal.

I wish you well

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/22/2013 2:49:58 PM

ResidentSadist

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I deliberately use rituals to heighten and reinforce the experience.
A slave's bath
A Master's bath
High protocol
Dinner at my feet

The prep for a scene in a remote location. Taking the gear and laying it out with respect my slave gets to touch all the gear that will soon be touching her.

. . . and my slave kneeling kissing my feet while I tell of the things about them I love as a person, how I appreciate the things they do that enhance my life and how owning them is a great pleasure.

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/23/2013 11:06:42 AM

angelikaJ

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There is another thread regarding clothing preferences.

For me, in regards to impact play, Ritual is very important.
Over clothing first and then the top layer is pulled down or pushed up/comes off, and then if there are any other layers...they come down (or go up/come off) as needed.

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/23/2013 12:38:55 PM

nephandi

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Greetings

quote:

I deliberately use rituals to heighten and reinforce the experience.
A slave's bath
A Master's bath
High protocol
Dinner at my feet

The prep for a scene in a remote location. Taking the gear and laying it out with respect my slave gets to touch all the gear that will soon be touching her.

. . . and my slave kneeling kissing my feet while I tell of the things about them I love as a person, how I appreciate the things they do that enhance my life and how owning them is a great pleasure.

That sounds just beautiful.

I wish you well

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/23/2013 2:31:13 PM

littleclip

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yes i agree even with the non play aspects of bdsm they help reinforce the relationship between the slave and master. when the same rituals are removed from use the dynamic is weakened and the M/s has less to reaffirm the bond

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/23/2013 5:39:53 PM

littlewonder

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can't say I've ever been into rituals. I've had doms in the past who always wanted them. We'd try them for awhile but they just seemed boring to me when I would be doing that stuff anyway. I mean, I didn't need to sit and stare at a corner while concentrating on my "submission" to make me think of him. If I love you, I'm gonna think about you and my submission is what it is. It's not something I have to remember or concentrate on. So for me personally ritual just doesn't work. I guess for those who need formality though in their lives then it would work. To each their own.

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/27/2013 10:11:07 AM

outlier

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For me it was not surprising, as I said some of it was obvious.

What is interesting to me is that these studies move those realizations
from the realm of "tribal knowledge" to peer reviewed research.

I think that is a significant difference because it opens the door
to more insightful research in the future.

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/27/2013 2:17:23 PM

chemeli

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I think i've always needed to have rituals, but somehow, i never stick with them cause i get bored rather easily. Lately, i've begin writing a diary, and i make sure, each day, at anytime of the day, i write something down. It doesnt have to be important or meaningfull, but what is important is that i stick to it, kind of like a personal contract. And i dont know what makes it important : making it daily or...i dont know.

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/28/2013 5:00:53 AM

ARIES83

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Rituals would be a very interesting topic to delve into, they do seem to be deeply rooted in the psyche and human experience.

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 6/28/2013 5:01:39 AM >

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/29/2013 7:46:00 AM

SwitchNSpanky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

Rituals would be a very interesting topic to delve into, they do seem to be deeply rooted in the psyche and human experience.

You are so right I'm all into ritual in my spiritual life, but in my sex life I do use Ritual as well, just not nearly with as much thought and intent as I could and probably should do.

Repeated acts tend to tell our minds "expect this" and causes all sorts of mental and physical changes within us. As a Dom I should be utilizing ritual more to evoke the mental changes I desire in my wife. When I think about "my game" I can see I do use ritual quite a bit. But it's more of a instinctual carry over from my spiritual life rather than an active part of my intentionally plotted game plan.

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/29/2013 7:54:29 AM

SwitchNSpanky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

can't say I've ever been into rituals. I've had doms in the past who always wanted them. We'd try them for awhile but they just seemed boring to me when I would be doing that stuff anyway. I mean, I didn't need to sit and stare at a corner while concentrating on my "submission" to make me think of him. If I love you, I'm gonna think about you and my submission is what it is. It's not something I have to remember or concentrate on. So for me personally ritual just doesn't work. I guess for those who need formality though in their lives then it would work. To each their own.

A good ritual is one that engages your mind. You shouldn't feel bored or unfulfilled by it. Instead it should lead your mind in a direction you (or your Dom) want it to go. If meditating on your submission wasn't "doing it" for you there needed to be a change. Instead of meditation perhaps writing a quick short story about submission would have kept you engaged and effected a better change of consciousness.

I'll bet you have lots of everyday rituals. One of mine is starting up the coffee pot first thing when I get up. As I'm prepping the coffee pot I begin to wake up before I've even had a sip of caffeine. Smelling the coffee brewing causes a bit more wakefulness and then that first magic sip tells my brain, we're waking up before the caffeine even has a chance to hit my blood stream.

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RE: Ritual Increases Pleasure and Sense of Control - 6/29/2013 9:39:46 AM

ClassAct2006

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They can be very sexy when imposed on the submissive.
More generally I adore having no tritual to my meals (opposite of the comment above), getting the food and eating it. Tastes just as good as if I had a lot of pointless extra things to do before eating it that just take up a lot of time. People just differ on these things.
I do think most of us like some regularity in our lives as it means we do not need to think about things - routine can make life easier, regular meals, set bed times.

I suspect in long marriage it is the routine that he always wants sex on Fridays at X times, suck her breasts and then sticks himself in her may well end up being rituals and routines that make sex distinctly boring after 20 years so achieving some kind of balance between sexy BDSM rituals and variety is probably best for most people.

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