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nephandi -> RE: BDSM and Oddness (6/21/2013 7:29:27 PM)
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Greetings
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I think it time for me to chime in here since I was the person that objected to being labeled ODD and a TARGET. My objection to the use of both words in a discussion where I had raised an issue about people using sites such as this to feed to pay sites and then being told it was due to my fetishes or whatever you want to call them made me a TARGET,
It have been explained to you again, and again, and again by a handful of different people that what was meant was that your kink is unusual and it is a kink that more subs than Doms have so that getting one's wishes fulfilled about it is somewhat difficult, and you are a single submissive man which mean you are a more likely candidate to go to a paysite, and by that you are target for them, nothing negative was meant by that. It is like saying I who are fat are a target for diet sellers or that I since I am a fantasy geek is a target for those selling MMORPG subscriptions, it simply means that you belong to a demographic more likely to buy a certain kind of service or product so you are targeted by those who sell them. This have been explained again and again and I am starting to think you just want to play the victim and be butthurt, that you like the attention for it is not possible to be that offended by someone saying that you are in the demographic target for a certain type of advertisement.
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and that my photo in my profile was ODD
Ok so that poster thought your profile picture odd, trust me you will be called far worse on this webside, at some point you just have to let it go. I mean having your picture called odd is not a mortal insult. I personally like your picture, that is a interesting way to do it, but it is differed and one word for different is odd though I would rather call it creative, in either case if someone think your picture odd, why do you even care, that is their opinion of it.
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(which then became tranformed to my fetishes being ODD)
No and this have been explained to you again, and again what was meant is that in the mind of the pay site advertisers what they see is this, a single male sub, with a not very common kink it is hard to get Dominants who are interested in the chance of him not having a partner and therefore wanting to wank at our pay site is rather good so let us get him there as it is allot bigger chance he will pay us than the female sub with a spanking fetish next profile down. It was not meant to judge your kink but to offer an explanation as to why you are having so much trouble with these advertisers. Tell me have you even read the replies for to me it seams you have already decided what everyone have been saying for every explanation we have given you seam to have just gone in one ear and out the other.
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was sidetracking the discussion and the position I had posited in response to the thread about people on this site sometimes demanding being addressed as slave or master and that I had noticed that in part there seemed to be something in common about those people and the ones that attempted to draw people out of this site and into "pay" sites.
You sidetracked the thread by being butthurt for nothing and continuing to whine about it in post after post after post and the rest of us trying to explain that no insult was actually meant to you.
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That was the crux of my position but I also felt that it was important that we as a community not within our community apply labels which have negative context when applied to individuals. This alone was my position and I had indicated that it was no different then the general society as a whole (and I can only speak here about the US since this is where I reside) tends to make people in our lifestyle outcasts and relegates us to being "odd" "freaks" and even disturbed.
First off all that you try to dictate what labels the rest of us should or should not apply to ourselves are down right arrogant, that is not for you to decide. Now can odd have a negative meaning yes, but that is not the meaning in which it was used about your kind, no one called you a freak and no one called you disturbed, they said your kink is unusual which it is.
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I dont feel we are in fact ODD and I beleive that there are many more (and perhaps 70,000,000 buyers of 50 shades speaks volumns about how outliner we as a community may be). Allowing society and especially this community to accept these labels which connote negative meanings just allows us to accept that we are somehow
You know, you might want to hide from every word that might have a negative meaning in some ways to use it, others of us are not so afraid of a word and own it instead. Also no one have told you to call yourself odd, but your preference do not change the English language, your kink is unusual and thereby it is odd, without anything negative meaning meant about that, you have to look at context when determining if a word is positive or negative, and the context this time was not negative.
I know it is no point in explaining this for you for you are to deep in buthurt mode to be able to understand but I am going to make an effort anyway. Take the word witch, it can have a negative meaning, that crazy old witch, meaning a somewhat loopy older woman who is not very nice, but when one Pagan tell another, wow she is quite a witch that is a positive thing to say. Context matters as much as words do.
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people that perhaps should be avoided. The sooner we protect our right to be who we want (there are tons of cases pending in US courts where people are being prosecuted and even punished for their sexuality) and not accept the common labels the socity puts on us such as ODD or TARGET or weird or sociopath or sick or disturbed, the sooner we become accepted as just other members of the vast spectrum of humanity that inhabit this planet.
What is negative about saying you are a target for a certain type of advertisement. You know one step in claiming our rights to be who we are? Not going ballistic and looking for insult where there is none.
I wish you well
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