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Etiquette - 6/20/2013 10:40:41 PM   
Tezzireth42


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/9/2013
Status: offline 		Alright. So I haven't been around other people in the lifestyle as a community thing ever. The worry I have is in contacting a sub who says that they are under the protection of someone. Be it another sub or a master or dom. What does that mean?
Also I've seen people say that in order to speak to a collared sub you have to get permission from their dom or master. Is this true?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Etiquette - 6/20/2013 10:48:14 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		Different people have different rules in their relationships.

If I were you, I would start out by not contacting "subs" (or "doms" or "masters") but, instead, I would contact submissive ladies that aren't collared or under anyone's "protection" (which in most cases is just a bullshit "place holder", anyway).

Good luck.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Etiquette - 6/20/2013 10:56:25 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tezzireth42

Also I've seen people say that in order to speak to a collared sub you have to get permission from their dom or master. Is this true?


Some folks are fussy about this. I'm not. Penelope Penthouse can whistle at my boys any time she likes. They know whom they belong to, and I've got more important things to be concerned about.

(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Etiquette - 6/20/2013 10:56:52 PM   
Tezzireth42


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/9/2013
Status: offline 		Danke DaddySatyr. I'm trying not to step on any toes but worry I might. At this rate though I probably won't be messaging anyone anymore. I've all but exhausted my options for the site in my area.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Etiquette - 6/20/2013 11:19:21 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		Bitte mein freund. Toes will get stepped on but, honestly, if it's an "honest" mistake (or if someone is such an insecure asshole that you can't even send a nice "Hello" message), then just "hide" and move along.

Which area are you in?



Peace and comfort,



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Etiquette - 6/20/2013 11:32:14 PM   
Tezzireth42


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/9/2013
Status: offline 		Luckily the internet gives us the ignore feature. If only I had that button in real life.

I live in Columbus MS but frequent Starkville as well. CollarMe lists very few subs in this area that have been on this year. Most of them dropped off in '12 it seems.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Etiquette - 6/20/2013 11:40:13 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Reading profiles will tell you a lot. If a submissive isnt allowed contact, then she should clearly state so. I find it a bit silly, but some men insist. If it doesnt say so, go ahead and contact. Whats the worse they can do, block you? You just might get a nice response in return. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I noticed you joined FL just a little over a week ago. Gotta give it time. We all search for that "perfect" relationship. Rarely is it found quickly. Something worth having can take some time.

Good luck

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 12:08:35 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tezzireth42

Luckily the internet gives us the ignore feature. If only I had that button in real life.

I live in Columbus MS but frequent Starkville as well. CollarMe lists very few subs in this area that have been on this year. Most of them dropped off in '12 it seems.



I promise I'm only trying to help but I think it behooves you to start thinking of people you're interested in as "ladies" first and "subs", somewhere further down the line.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 12:18:04 AM   
Tezzireth42


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/9/2013
Status: offline 		I have a post elsewhere that shows my typical first message usually using the word "madame" . I used the word "sub (s)" to indicate who I'm talking to and what pattern I'm seeing with the no response thing. I try to be as respectful as possible without being way too formal.

Also I've been on here much longer than that but couldn't get back into my old account for some reason. A friend of mine showed me this... Two years ago I think and I was an active reader on here and tried to contact people on CollarMe with no luck back then either.

< Message edited by Tezzireth42 -- 6/21/2013 12:19:05 AM >

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 1:52:10 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Best piece of advice is to skip the whole "under the protection of Domly Dom/me" crowd. Its the internet! What the fuck do you need protection from?!?! If the interwebz are too scary to handle without protection, should they be using it in the first place?

The way I see it...a respectful "hi" is harmless. The recipient can either reply back, ignore it, or throw a panties entangled in ass crack tantrum about it. Either way, it didnt cost much except a little of your time.

(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 3:38:49 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		"under protection" means "needs psychiatric care" or "craves drama"

This is a terrible personals site, too many scam profiles. Post in the forums here, join ferlife which,has far fewer scam profiles, and sites like okcupid.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 4:17:26 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

quote:

Alright. So I haven't been around other people in the lifestyle as a community thing ever. The worry I have is in contacting a sub who says that they are under the protection of someone. Be it another sub or a master or dom. What does that mean?
Also I've seen people say that in order to speak to a collared sub you have to get permission from their dom or master. Is this true?


When someone is under the protection of another that generally means that they have a mentor that help them getting into this lifestyle. Sometimes the mentor will also help screen potential partners and are generally there to give help and advice. Some more experienced subs also like to have a protector between Doms to have someone help tell them what to to do until they are owned again. Generally look at it this way, if someone have a mentor or a protector they be Dom or sub they have a teacher, guide or assistant.

Now as for those who say you have to have their Dom or Master's permission to speak with them. Well off course you can ignore such a request, but chances are they will then not reply to you, and really the polite thing to do if a profile say do not contact me unless you have my owner's permission it to either not contact them or get the owner's permission, I mean you do not just walk into someone's garden without the owners permission so do not contact their slave or sub without it either.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 5:03:55 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		If a dom addressed me as a sub as 'madame' I would assume he didn't really want a sub and wasn't really a dom. My assumption would be he was a male sub looking for an alpha sub or switch to dom him.

If this doesn't apply to you, well do what you want with the information. My assumption is based on how often a male 'dom' was really a male sub looking for a femdomme.



_____________________________



(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 5:07:11 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tezzireth42

Luckily the internet gives us the ignore feature. If only I had that button in real life.

I live in Columbus MS but frequent Starkville as well. CollarMe lists very few subs in this area that have been on this year. Most of them dropped off in '12 it seems.



Hey! I'm from Jackson! Well actually Madison. I'm a Rez gal!
Ok sorry, slight hijack.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 6/21/2013 5:08:45 AM >

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 5:33:27 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

"under protection" means "needs psychiatric care" or "craves drama"

This is a terrible personals site, too many scam profiles. Post in the forums here, join ferlife which,has far fewer scam profiles, and sites like okcupid.



Fully agree with that.
Wish there was a word that meant more than fully.

Also, imho, any owner who instructs their property with contact rules has already given them their fences. It's up to them to obey.
If they do not respond with courtesy to an honest approach then their keeper (to whatever capacity that may be) has not provided them with rules governing their response properly, and that becomes a reflection on both of them, not you.



(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 6:46:00 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		I simply dont respond. Im not "under orders". Its just my personal preference.

And to think Fet doesnt have their share of scammers is naive. A quick search on just the word "findomme" reveals 6 groups, one of which has almost 400 members. "financial dominant" reveals 3 groups, two with over 2500 members, and 2 pages of names with "findomme" as part of their nic. Finding them on fet can be trickier because of the search limitations there.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 9:01:15 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

Best piece of advice is to skip the whole "under the protection of Domly Dom/me" crowd. Its the internet! What the fuck do you need protection from?!?! If the interwebz are too scary to handle without protection, should they be using it in the first place?

The way I see it...a respectful "hi" is harmless. The recipient can either reply back, ignore it, or throw a panties entangled in ass crack tantrum about it. Either way, it didnt cost much except a little of your time.


You read my mind.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 11:25:29 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I really don't get the 'under protection' thing either, but I guess it's horses for courses.

I'm an owned slave, but Master is more than happy for me to chat to others as long as we keep in non-sexual and I remember that I'm owned by him. That is reflected in my profile. I guess you just need to abide by whatever is in the lady's profile. But if you do decide to contact someone, I echo the advice to approach her as a woman first and a sub/slave second. Trust me, that's a good way to go

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Tezzireth42)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 11:31:42 AM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		Under my protection means something different for me and mine than it does here. Some comunities have Doms who look out for subs. Other comunities have protection that implies a state of ownership that's not really ownership.

For me. Under my protection means just that. I'll respond to someone abusing a person under my protection like she was my sister. Jail wouldn't matter. Just revenge. But most people seem to think of this as a much lighter obligation.

In the end, if I were you. I'd just keep searching for a sub without any emotional attachments.

All my exes are "under my protection.". And two chicks I've never been with.honestly. Why have me involved at all when you could be in a free relationship that does not include a overprotective nut?

_____________________________

I am a lover AND a fighter...

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Etiquette - 6/21/2013 12:08:22 PM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		Mostly. In my limited experiance. Under my protection means that the Dom has or believes they have enough social influence to blackball you from your local BDSM community. Honestly. Why deal with that or worse? It seems you found some peeps who are arrogant enough to advertise this status. That's indicative of some imituruty in my eyes. Just keep searching for a good candadite with less crazy or hassle in their profile.

_____________________________

I am a lover AND a fighter...

(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)
Profile   Post #: 20
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