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Mentor - 6/21/2013 6:37:36 AM

cutiewithabootie

Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline

Hello ladies and gentle men.

I had a mentor in the past that was awesome about bouncing ideas off of. She was a submissive like myself and she was amazing. Seriously, if ever I aspired to be like someone else it was her. I miss the closeness and the feelings of relating. I was wondering if any of you have had such an experience? Do you thing submissive mentors are necessary?
Have any of you mentored another person?

Maybe we can discuss this further.

Me

Post #: 1

RE: Mentor - 6/21/2013 7:09:50 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

I've never had one, but probably would have benefited from something like then when I was new, not least because I was also very young and new to adult relationships in general. Now I'm pretty secure and established in my position and don't intend to start a new relationship any time soon I don't feel like I'd need one - at least not more than anyone needs friends to talk to.

I've never been the mentor either - I wouldn't be against the idea but a) still pretty young and I don't think many older people want advice on relationships from a 26yr old, b) I don't go to public events and c) I don't have technical proficiency to share in any field of kink so I'd be no help for someone wanting to learn to wield a flogger. I've certainly made some mistakes that I try to talk about here honestly, because I see others acting in a similar way.

Sounds like you had a good thing going on with this woman.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)

Post #: 2

RE: Mentor - 6/21/2013 7:30:27 AM

cutiewithabootie

Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline

We were actually very close. She wasn't a mentor because I was new, she was a mentor because there was a lot I wanted to learn that her particular skills could help me. She was very graceful and had a quiet dignity about her. Watching her was amazing. You would think it was the most dignified priviledge to have to press your forhead against her Masters boots.

she seemed so perfect and almost incapable of making a mistake. She would tell me how many times she screwed up or something went wrong, but I never saw it. If there was a perfect submissive she was it to me.

I miss her. Unfortunately her health isn't very good anymore.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 3

RE: Mentor - 6/21/2013 11:14:08 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

Hello ladies and gentle men.

I had a mentor in the past that was awesome about bouncing ideas off of. She was a submissive like myself and she was amazing. Seriously, if ever I aspired to be like someone else it was her. I miss the closeness and the feelings of relating. I was wondering if any of you have had such an experience? Do you thing submissive mentors are necessary?
Have any of you mentored another person?

Maybe we can discuss this further.

Me

::another partial repost - I must be feeling lazy today!::

Mentor

Generally, that's someone who has already walked the path you are about to step on. As a female of the submissive persuasion, I tend to mentor other females of the submissive persuasion.

Please read this next part very careful. It might be the most important sentence in this entire article.

My advice to you is not to listen to me.

Wait! Wait! Let me rephrase that a bit.

My advice to you is not to listen to 'just' me.

Asking a diverse group of folks the same question will garner you, of course, diverse answers and even though one person may say the exact same thing as another, the overall tone, style or way they say it may speak to you in the way another voice does not. When you hear (or read) the one which resonates with you, that's your gut telling you that it's probably the idea that you should consider first. That doesn't mean you can't consider other viewpoints but your gut instinct is your ultimate mentor and best friend. When used in conjunction with your mind it packs a powerful one-touch punch and when you add in that little thing that thumps behind the ribcage in your chest you are well on your way to finding the best answer to whatever it is that you question about life, the Universe and everything except for algebra. For that, you'll still need to study.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)

Post #: 4

RE: Mentor - 6/21/2013 12:29:29 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Another female submissive was quite helpful to me after I joined collarme.

<tangent>Unfortunately, I had been fuck buddies with her Dom before I met her and learned she thought he was BDSM monogamous with her (they are swingers; hence my confusion.) He was pissed at me because I wouldn't play with him anymore and she eventually found out about our prior history and was pissed at me too. </tangent>

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)

Post #: 5

RE: Mentor - 6/21/2013 3:30:05 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

My slaves have always been my best mentors.
Nobody else even comes close.

Well, except maybe life. Life just kicked my ass, taught me some solids about what's involved in being an adult.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 6

RE: Mentor - 6/22/2013 7:49:01 PM

cutiewithabootie

Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline

@Kana- they must be very lucky slaves to be so highly thought of in your esteem

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 7

RE: Mentor - 6/22/2013 8:00:12 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

My slaves have always been my best mentors.
Nobody else even comes close.

Kana, well said!

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 8

RE: Mentor - 6/22/2013 10:44:57 PM

msj2u

Posts: 37
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I have mentored both Dominants and subs. Enjoyed each time.

MSJ

I'm the One your mother didn't warn you about

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 9

RE: Mentor - 6/23/2013 4:08:36 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Greetings

I have never had a another submissive woman as a mentor. I had a teacher in the art of spiritual BDSM for a while and he is very knowledgeable and kind, we did end up disagreeing on my life extension work though as he felt one should just embrace growing old and dying and I do not so we stopped our teacher/student relationship. My teacher is a Dominant man though, that is the closest thing I have had to a mentor in a BDSM sense of the word.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)

Post #: 10

RE: Mentor - 6/23/2013 6:56:32 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

@Kana- they must be very lucky slaves to be so highly thought of in your esteem

Au contraire. I was, and am, an exceptionally lucky Master to have women of such exquisite knowledge and high moral caliber deign to serve, much less school, a moron such as little ole moi.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)

Post #: 11

RE: Mentor - 6/25/2013 1:47:11 PM

SilverKit

Posts: 15
Joined: 6/25/2013
Status: offline

I think mentors are amazing, or well can be. I think someone said that a mentor is someone who has walked a path you are looking at taking.
And sometimes you just pick someone to help you keep your head above water. It's a great thing to have, be it sub or Dom or sWitch, I think everyone who is doing any sort of S&M play should have a mentor.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 12

RE: Mentor - 6/25/2013 1:55:46 PM

chemeli

Posts: 335
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline

Often, mentors are guys (or girls) just wanting to have free sex. the best way to learn, in my opinion, about what you need and want, is to make mistakes and to try things without any *guiding* hands. In a situation like yours though, it's perfect. But mostly, it's just crap.

You can have a mentor who can teach you how to do bondage or how you'd feel completely bound and gagged etc, without the sex. I dont see how it is any fun but hey, to each their own.

_____________________________

It's a woman, it doesnt know what it wants (aka the stereotypical joke)

(in reply to SilverKit)

Post #: 13

RE: Mentor - 6/25/2013 4:55:13 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I call those people, friends, not mentors.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)

Post #: 14

RE: Mentor - 6/25/2013 4:57:17 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

@Kana- they must be very lucky slaves to be so highly thought of in your esteem

Au contraire. I was, and am, an exceptionally lucky Master to have women of such exquisite knowledge and high moral caliber deign to serve, much less school, a moron such as little ole moi.

You are killing me here!!!

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 15

RE: Mentor - 6/25/2013 6:40:22 PM

BambiBoi

Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline

I'm wary of people whose mentor are their master. Less so vice-versa. The mentor-mentee relationship is unique in that a mentor is supposed to help, but not fulfill. You still bumble through life your own way, but you hear this person's advice. Maybe they've made that mistake before, maybe they've seen something like that before. To me, a good mentor makes sure you have the freedom to fail, but is not a safety net when you do. When you would have been worthy adversaries, but because one is so new and the other experienced, there is no need to compete.

A mentor is the harbinger for a new piece on the board, but not its commander.

_____________________________

<3

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 16

RE: Mentor - 6/25/2013 8:09:00 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

...And really bad music...but I'm still a fan....Long live El Duce!

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to BambiBoi)

Post #: 17

RE: Mentor - 6/25/2013 8:18:50 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I like to consider Master to be my guru.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 18

RE: Mentor - 6/26/2013 8:14:53 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

@Kana- they must be very lucky slaves to be so highly thought of in your esteem

Au contraire. I was, and am, an exceptionally lucky Master to have women of such exquisite knowledge and high moral caliber deign to serve, much less school, a moron such as little ole moi.

You are killing me here!!!

Kali

You say that like it's a bad thing

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 19

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