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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/28/2006 10:39:06 PM   
YoungBlondeSlave


Posts: 953
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		i do not believe that plus-sized women gravitate towards BDSM just because they feel like less of a person and are only worthwhile if they are the sub/slave of someone. But, i do agree that it does seem that there is a larger percentage of them. That's just how things are, those who are involved in the lifestyle are such a small percentage of the world's population there is no way that anyone can accurately measure how many big women there are in relation to slimmer women. Vice versa i have not seen all that many weight proportionate men involved in BDSM either so why is that not mentioned (perhaps it is but i don't think i have enough time in the week to review all 400+ posts on this topic)?

But, i have learned to love myself for who i am the way i am and i refuse to get down on myself about my external appearance. i know that it will not be permanent because i have already taken steps to change my lifestyle habits: exercising 3x a week, changing my diet completely from crap to things that are actually supposed to be consumed and other things.

My owner has helped me out greatly just by being a wonderful support system by allowing me to call him and vent when i'm just having a plain old sucky day.  Since, i am a larger girl and i understand the headache that many women like myself go through daily with being heavyset (in the vanilla and BDSM life). In my own personal opinion i hate it and now that i am finally sick enough of it i am doing something about it.

Personally, although i am a heavy girl it does not mean that i am not active. i am more active and more energetic than most of my friends; i was on a swim team for 12 years, and i've competed in the occassional triathlon. Although i didn't do so stellar i did do it and there are not too many people who can attest to doing it. Being heavyset and not at the height of my physical condition is hard enough on its own and is made especially more so because my brother is a professional athlete and is the epitome of perfection in nearly every way. i certainly don't need anyone coming down on me harshly about it (since i get enough of it from my family) and i'm fairly certain none of the other girls here do either.

Maybe i was wrong thinking that these forums were for support and to converse and get to know each other, not rip each other to shreds and nitpick each and every fault that every person has, am i mistaken?

(in reply to sixstrokes)
Profile   Post #: 421
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/28/2006 11:21:42 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


I don't know about you, but I think this thread could shed a few posts.


I'm actually very surprised that those who have been here a while and are keenly aware that this topic is re-posted every three or four months by some schmoe, still reply? I noticed it shortly after the fifth post and knew it would draw some attention, but twenty-two pages and four-hundred posts later?  Man...gotta be a record for this topic.



 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 422
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/28/2006 11:34:24 PM   
mkmePainscanvas


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		Well sixstrokes, its really because we just can not stay away from all of the sexy, breath takingly handsome, well hung, youthful, impeccably groomed, centerfold bdsm Masters/Doms/Daddys. Its the opposites attract thing. We just literally can not help ourselves. Draws us like a magnet it does.

Painscanvas

(in reply to sixstrokes)
Profile   Post #: 423
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 1:36:12 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
wow... detrimental comment?
Some schmoe?
 
We are all schmoes at some point I guess - I can't believe people look down on someone for a non personal remark by making a personal one.
 
I am indignant!
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 424
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 1:41:08 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Girl it's all personal to someone somewhere.  I'm outraged... Not sure at what yet, but I'll think of it.
quote:

Well sixstrokes, its really because we just can not stay away from all of the sexy, breath takingly handsome, well hung, youthful, impeccably groomed, centerfold bdsm Masters/Doms/Daddys. Its the opposites attract thing. We just literally can not help ourselves. Draws us like a magnet it does.

Painscanvas    
Finally the truth is let out!  Thanks PainCanvas.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 425
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 2:39:09 AM   
srllile7


Posts: 75
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline
Okay so i didn't read completely through the 22 pages of post before saying this sorry this must be the patience im suppose to be working on right now, but either way id like Okay Let me first say i didnt read through the full 22 page discussion.  Yes i know bad me.... thats the patience im suppose to be working on ; but obviously have yet to do.   But from there id just like to say i, like everyone else can not safely say weather or not we attract more or less bbw or midgets or giants or whatnot.  But i can say that the more the merrier.  One thing i have learned about bdsm is that is completely and totally freeing.  So the more people who can come in find comfort and satisfaction in themselves, their daily lives, and out of control sex lives the better off we are.  Because we all know we need less stuffy and unsatisfied people in the world hehehehe.  I personaly am a bbw and short to boot at 4'9" I didn't become interested in bdsm because im fat, short, abused as child, like to treated badly... the list could go on....Nope I am here because i enjoy to please a man, namely a dominant man hehehe, and love the heck out of pain.  Because you do have to admit you cant walk up to any random man on the street and ask them to whip you or pinch your nipples till you cray.  Even if you were a 58 120 lb blond with big boobs.

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)
Profile   Post #: 426
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 6:24:34 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline
[/quote]

So what are you saying? Are you saying that overweight subs are more likely to eat ice cream than any other subs? Ugh, how incredibly close minded of you.

QD, as much as we all want this thread to disappear into the night, it's not going to. There will be new people coming in who didn't catch it the first time around, and will want to post their opinion.

Good try though.

[/quote]

There will also be those that have posted about a dozen times and complain that they want it to end yet CONTINUE to post.

If you are tired of it, stop reading it and stop posting to it.  Plain and simple.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to litleone8620)
Profile   Post #: 427
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 6:30:25 AM   
LordTemporal


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		sees this whole topic has been talked to death...I bring one thing to the conversation....who the hell cares?...everyone in life (yes, even the vanillas) have some degree of dominance or submissiveness, depending upon the situation....and that means that every human being, regardless of body shape or style...ultimately, it truly doesn't matter...so who cares?

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 428
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 6:36:05 AM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		Since 40  percent of Americans are considered overweight, I don't think it's a BDSM issue...

_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to LordTemporal)
Profile   Post #: 429
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 6:52:21 AM   
Skier


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		From being a member of some BDSM groups in New England, I've come to the conclusion that many  people involved in the scene do so to ESCAPE life circumstances. There's nothing wrong with that. A diversion....a distraction....the opportunity to escape into fantasy land. Great. I do the same thing. There are others, however, who combine temporary escape with a CONFRONTATION with reality. What I mean by that is that they use the power of a D/s dynamic to confront issues in their life. It takes much more skill and commitment to do that because the issues and remedies aren't "sexy". The rewards are so much greater, however, and the relationships themselves seem to be  so much more interesting.

(in reply to irishbynature)
Profile   Post #: 430
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 7:10:44 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

It takes much more skill and commitment to do that because the issues and remedies aren't "sexy". The rewards are so much greater, however, and the relationships themselves seem to be  so much more interesting.
Well thank God you're here to tell us what it takes to be a dominant, and the motives one ought to have when into wiitwd.    You must be very special to have such clarity.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Skier)
Profile   Post #: 431
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 7:22:02 AM   
Skier


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		This post is more controversial.

There is no pope of BDSM so one person's opinion is as authoritative as another's so I  will not be offended by any who disagree with my personal opinion. Unlike comments on obesity and smoking, these have  NO scientific underpinnings. Just my opinion.

Tops and dominants are common in the BDSM world; Masters are not.

How does this relate to this thread? If I see an overweight person, I realize right away that, while s/he could be a top or a dominant, in my opinion, s/he can't be a master. Why? Because s/he hasn't mastered him/herself. S/he's a slave....not to a person, but to a substance.... to Master/Mistress Food....or perhaps Master/Mistress Nicotine....Alcohol...Drugs....Profligate Spending.....Prevaricating (common in the lifestyle)....i.e. any addictive  activity or substance that is pernicious in its effect on self or others. To call yourself a Master, one first needs to master him/herself. I know many doms and might have met a Master, but I'm sure about only ONE  (not referring to myself). I've also  met one woman who could be a Mistress (female form of Master) if she was motivated enough in that direction.

Secondly, if I see an overweight (or smoking)  sub/slave and  there is no improvement in a couple of months, then I assume that s/he is just being topped and not being mastered.

Again, these are just my opinions. There's no 'proof' or research supporting them. Although I firmly hold to these opinions, I don't have any ego investment in them. They're just a kind of internal guide for me as I wend my way through the world of D/s.

Feel free to critique .

(in reply to Skier)
Profile   Post #: 432
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 7:24:57 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		removed because ........................*long sigh*

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 6/29/2006 7:35:21 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Skier)
Profile   Post #: 433
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 7:40:33 AM   
Etney


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Southwest Michigan
Status: offline 		I have just stumbled across this discussion and I will admit that I haven't read all 22 pages of finger pointing and blaming that appears to be going on...I just want to put in this comment...

Has it occured to any of you that there are Dominants out there who prefer their subs/slaves on the larger size and are happy with them that way??  I am a submissive and proud to be one, I serve my Master with all of my heart...I am also a BBW and my Master prefers me this way.  The few pages of comments I have read all seem to center around the statement that a Dominant must change(controll) the submissive untill she becomes a size that is more acceptable to society...Why not appreciate what is in her heart and stop trying to make twigs out of those who are not meant to be a twig.

In my local BDSM Community there are several Dommes who are "larger" woman and even if you were to meet them in a vanilla setting and not be aware that they were Domme's, you would still walk away from the meeting without any doubt in your mind that they were Domme; they naturally Radiate a sense of Mastery and command about them and even though they prefer to be called Lady (insert name here) one automatically thinks of them as Mistress.

my humble opinions...your mileage will indeed vary

_____________________________

"Only those who do nothing make no mistakes." - Harry S. Truman

The Pessimist curses the wind, the Optimist expects it to change, the Realist adjusts his sails!

(in reply to Skier)
Profile   Post #: 434
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 8:03:12 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Skier

This post is more controversial.

There is no pope of BDSM so one person's opinion is as authoritative as another's so I  will not be offended by any who disagree with my personal opinion. Unlike comments on obesity and smoking, these have  NO scientific underpinnings. Just my opinion.

Tops and dominants are common in the BDSM world; Masters are not.

How does this relate to this thread? If I see an overweight person, I realize right away that, while s/he could be a top or a dominant, in my opinion, s/he can't be a master. Why? Because s/he hasn't mastered him/herself. S/he's a slave....not to a person, but to a substance.... to Master/Mistress Food....or perhaps Master/Mistress Nicotine....Alcohol...Drugs....Profligate Spending.....Prevaricating (common in the lifestyle)....i.e. any addictive  activity or substance that is pernicious in its effect on self or others. To call yourself a Master, one first needs to master him/herself. I know many doms and might have met a Master, but I'm sure about only ONE  (not referring to myself). I've also  met one woman who could be a Mistress (female form of Master) if she was motivated enough in that direction.

Secondly, if I see an overweight (or smoking)  sub/slave and  there is no improvement in a couple of months, then I assume that s/he is just being topped and not being mastered.

Again, these are just my opinions. There's no 'proof' or research supporting them. Although I firmly hold to these opinions, I don't have any ego investment in them. They're just a kind of internal guide for me as I wend my way through the world of D/s.

Feel free to critique .


The above poster is argumentative, hard headed, egotistical and most of all he has TUNNEL VISION...nuff said...

Another LOOOOOONNNNNNNG SIGH.

< Message edited by BBBTBW -- 6/29/2006 8:14:09 AM >

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to Skier)
Profile   Post #: 435
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 8:10:13 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I just thought he was funny, because I kept having flashes of pat robertson preaching :  A MASTER MUST BE FREE OF SIN, AND OF COURSE ANYTHING THAT I AM (and far be it for me to point out the imperfections I noticed in his profile) IS NOT A SIN.     M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 436
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 8:12:18 AM   
zenofeller


Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline 		ok, let me try and end this monstrosity already

ok ?

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 6/29/2006 11:52:44 AM >

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 437
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 8:16:40 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Hey not fair, how come you didn't put up the pics on the male shortcoming thread?
  LOLOL         M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to zenofeller)
Profile   Post #: 438
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 8:20:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		How does a person having a vice equate to not being able to be a master in a relationship?

That's like saying a slave can't have kids because having to take care of the kids will take priority over taking care of the master.

Your conclusion does not in any logical way follow from your premise.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Skier)
Profile   Post #: 439
RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/29/2006 8:20:46 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Hey not fair, how come you didn't put up the pics on the male shortcoming thread?
  LOLOL         M


No pics, but here are a few quotes from the movie Click about their son (Adam Sandler) when he was born

Julie Kavner "He has a tiny little SCHMECKLE"

Henry Winkler "It was no bigger than a tic tac"

< Message edited by BBBTBW -- 6/29/2006 8:25:04 AM >

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 440
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