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RE: The important thing - 6/28/2006 10:58:54 AM

Caretakr

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I base my realtionships neither in bdsm or love. I base them on compatability and contentment. Love is ephemeral and hormonal,and you may not always feel it from day to day.

But your general sense of comfort and rightness with a girl or Master in an M/s relationship will go far in keeping you both together.

(in reply to dmarc)

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RE: The important thing - 6/28/2006 8:29:08 PM

Evanesce

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quote:

I have noticed something how many of us, Talk about D/s relationships, and BDSM, yet its not the BDSM that solely should keep the relationship going. For me love must be at the forefront of such a relationship.

I don't need love. Not the romantic, husband and wife kind, at least. In fact, I was MUCH happier when my Master swore up and down He did NOT love me, because our relationship was then based on control, which is what I need in order to be content. I would rather have my Master's respect than His love, and when we find our "house" slave, I can guarantee that "love" as it's expressed in this thread, will not be a part of it. I would almost certainly feel a great deal of affection for that individual, but it wouldn't be love.

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Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

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RE: The important thing - 6/28/2006 8:55:03 PM

Caretakr

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Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

quote:

I have noticed something how many of us, Talk about D/s relationships, and BDSM, yet its not the BDSM that solely should keep the relationship going. For me love must be at the forefront of such a relationship.

I don't need love. Not the romantic, husband and wife kind, at least. In fact, I was MUCH happier when my Master swore up and down He did NOT love me, because our relationship was then based on control, which is what I need in order to be content. I would rather have my Master's respect than His love, and when we find our "house" slave, I can guarantee that "love" as it's expressed in this thread, will not be a part of it. I would almost certainly feel a great deal of affection for that individual, but it wouldn't be love.

I've always found that love screwed up the structure beyond all reason. And there is a difference between affection-and out and out lack of emotional control.

(in reply to Evanesce)

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RE: The important thing - 6/29/2006 5:50:36 AM

SusanofO

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Well I think love can grow, and it can also wax and wane. I think if someone wants to change many, many things about you then maybe you aren't the person for them to begin with? I do think deep caring (call it love, call it what you will) is what makes some people try to keep a situation together or try to not let it become stagnant when it could become that way.

Getting to the point of deep caring takes some time for me (as I am sure it does for many), but there are people I can find myself attracted to and maybe want to be more caring toward them right off the bat (maybe it's the way they communicate or the way they think or whatever. There is just something about them that allows me to "let my hair down" so to speak.

Interesting topic, because right now I am struggling with feeling like sort of a "ho" because I know it is to soon for me to try get involved in a deeper, intimate and caring relationship but am feeling some real needs that cry out to be met. I cannot bring myself to potentially "toy" with anyone I either do care about (or think I could maybe care about) so I am puposely considering seeking out some almost anonymous sex with someone who just doesn't care about having to have "ties" that way and would expect nothing in that regard from me (I already have someone in mind, so please don't anyone write to me to "volunteer" - I am taking this pretty seriously and it's an "issue" with me right now).

I am going to do it, for about a week anyway, I think, regardless of whether it makes me feel like a "ho" - I think I do need it (it's been, literally years for me since I've had "needs" met in that arena, sans a brief affair) - but on some level this does still make me feel like a "ho" (for now, though, I am willing to live with that. Why should I feel "bad"? Some men (and women) seem to do this frequently and don't bat an eyelash. That doesn't make it "right" or "wrong" - it's just what people do I guess. Maybe that is just what "scening" can be construed as - although what I am considering involves more than one simple "scene" but a period of time like a week or so.

-Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/29/2006 6:07:52 AM >

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: The important thing - 6/29/2006 7:26:52 AM

ownedgirlie

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(fast reply)

He beckoned to my submission - to the slave. My submission came to him, and love followed. Love is part of my enslavement to him, but does not define it. In our early days, I served him because I needed to serve him, not because I loved him. Love does not define my slavery, or our relationship, but love makes my devotion to him all that much sweeter, my pain all the greater, my submission far deeper, and my suffering all the more intense. He is my Master above all else. He owned me and ruled me, and I came to love him deeply, in the process.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 6/29/2006 7:27:25 AM >

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RE: The important thing - 6/30/2006 5:49:47 PM

kyraofMists

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My submission is rooted in devotion. I would have a difficult time being a slave to someone that I was not completely devoted to. In general, I do not have a strong desire to serve or to submit. I am rather independent and my parents always said the first words I ever spoke were, "I can do it myself!" I have always tended to walk my own path. My devotion to my Lord is what inspires me to submit to him. He is a man who has earned my loyalty, trust, respect, love and devotion and in return I give him everything within my power to give.

Knight's kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: The important thing - 7/1/2006 12:24:41 AM

hispossession

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I too answered to my Master's dominance... although it took over 6 years. He was the first person to see me for the submissive that I didn't know I was and it took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that I am truly submissive. I can never thank him enough for that gift... the knowledge that there is no shame in submission.

I have been in a relationship with my Master for several months and the realization that I am in love with him, and falling for his wife, who I am friends with, as well, came slowly... but it came. There is an additional depth to my service to him I think after coming to this conclusion...at first I wished to serve him, to be owned by him, because he is an exceptional man... the trust and respect were, and still are, firmly in place... but now that I can allow myself to say that I love him there is something more to it...

I have not told my Master that I am in love with him... *blushes* I guess I am hoping that my actions will speak much louder than my lack of words.

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RE: The important thing - 7/1/2006 1:12:05 PM

PiggyPuta

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love can come in many different forms. i have the love of my life in my vanilla boyfriend so not looking for it in my Master. my Master adores me and i adore Him but i do not love Him...maybe some day i will feel a little love, but more than likely i will not. He knows this of me. i trust and respect my Master. But what i went seeking was the control (or rather the lack of control on my part). i desired a Master that was able to take control of my mind and this is what i have found. so for me love does not play any part in my relationship with my Master...it would just get in the way.

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RE: The important thing - 7/2/2006 2:34:33 PM

babysburnin

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If you look at the word "love" as a verb rather than a noun - then submission is love in a sense.

When my Dom and I first "connected", neither of us planned on "falling in love" or "being in love" with one another. I do not feel that I could be with anyone with whom I did not respect and adore. It would be even more difficult to truely submit to someone with love.

The fact that we show love to one another through frienship and feel the deep connection known as "love" honestly makes my submission possible and all the more sweet.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

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RE: The important thing - 7/4/2006 1:32:54 AM

srllile7

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Love, I don't think you have to have love to have a relationship. There are tons of vanilla relationships/marriages that have no love and they lack the structure and shared int rests that our bdsm or even D/s relationships have. But a life outside of solely bdsm is important but can you every really get rid of D/s factor of the relationship? I don't think so or i should say i wouldn't want to. Other then that admiration comes close enough to love for me. If i want to honor my Master by being a good sub then im happy and if my Master wants to tell me im a good girl and pleased him then hey that's all i need.

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Post #: 30