RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please...

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RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/28/2006 7:58:55 PM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
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Regardless HisTicia how hard it may be, we all have taken risks on romance/relationships and the vast majority of us I am certain can say we have dedicated much to the possibility of success than to the probability of failure. Everything you feel is going to take time to work through and without any doubt is going to hurt real bad. In a month, a year perhaps many years down the road you may realize a value he has added to your life, and perhaps that can be as simple as believing 'you can love completely'. Not every encounter should have to be a 'better to have never known'. Don't hold back your tears, but don't let them cloud your vision either. Be well HisTicia and believe in tomorrow.

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RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/28/2006 8:13:09 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
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Ticia:
First of all Hugs to you. I am sorry this happned and that you are going thru some very emotionally trying times. I think I would be seriously considering scooter and Jewels offer. I don't think *I* would be able to stay in his home, slowly bleeding.
I don't want to add insult to injury, but i do echo what some others have posted in that he is a schmuck. So he has youngins with his ex. If they are divorced and there is a custody/visitation arrangement, she has no power to do anything. Well she can try, but he can also take her to court and she would get a good wrist slapping from family court. Even in NY, which has the most difficult Divorce law < IMO, I am no lawyer> the custody arrangements have nothing to do with the divorce arrangements. I know he tells you he is hurting, but I see him as spineless and not worthy of you. I find it hard to swallow that ex wifey.. out of the blue.. has pulled a trump card. Appears on the surface,very fishy.

Two thoughts by the Dali Lama come to mind:
"When you lose, don't lose the lesson and Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck"

Here's hoping you are getting stronger by the minute.

mbmbn

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Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/28/2006 8:28:13 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
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Hi:

I don't know you that well but I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have been there when my ex husband was my boyfriend at the time. He was visiting the kids, took my car for about 13 1/2 hours, then came to tell me that he cheated on me with the ex-wife and they were getting back together.

Well, that did not work out so I gave him a second chance, got married for 4 years and the last two were hell because of the mental and sometimes escalating physical abuse.

I know this is the most heartbreaking situation you are going through but this dom does not deserve you and you need to build yourself up first before getting out and moving on. Make your life for yourself, never look back and if he asks you to come back...send him on his way. It will take time to get stronger.

I don't miss my ex husband after all of the hell he put me through and I am glad to be living my life now.

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RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/29/2006 12:17:36 AM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
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If he is so innocent in this matter and say's he still loves you but it's beyond he's control. Why is it then that you say it is the most difficult at night where you are on one couch and he another and it makes it worse if you go sit by him.
WTF, he can't even comfort you and support you around your feelings?

What does he claim is Ex might be window peeping?

Doesn't make any sense to me.

*Brightspot

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Things are settling down.... - 6/29/2006 5:01:21 AM

HisTicia

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/31/2006
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Once again...i do thank you all for everything...all of your words..really do mean a lot ..trust me.

Sir and i talked a lot...and things are settling down. i think that we were both hurting too much...and both too angry to do much of that before last night. You see...i am the type that likes to talk..to be held..to do things like that when i am hurting..and my Sir.. he is more the type to shut down..and not talk...or turn himself off to emotions. At a time like this..that doesn't work very well.

i thought it was over...and so did he.. i don't know if we got that from each other.. like we both thought the other wanted it or what... i am not sure. We talked last night though..and we both are going to look at it like a temp thing. i wrote him an email a bit ago..and told him..that i would just look at this like a visit..we met..saw we connected the same..things like that..now.. i go back and settle what i must..and so does he. i will wait and see what i get back on it..but i hope that he knows what i mean.

Thanks so much for all of the offers of rooms..and couches... it overwhelmed me a lot.

My friend... (the one that lost her mom this past wknd) I talked to her last night..and she said i was welcome to stay there for a couple of months..until i could get some money put back..or move back here..or both. Either way..she said she would love to have me. i felt bad about this..with everything she has just went thru..that is why to me it wasn't even an option i considered.

I think things are going to work out okay.... no matter what happens.. I will handle it. I know that he isn't a bad person..he is just in a crappy situation..and really did think everything was settled before I came. He is getting me home..and I appreciate that ... very much.

I know there wasn't an elaborate joke..or anything... too many ppl were hurt in this.. it's hard to explain..but I do know it..so that isn't even a thought that entered my mind.

I do thank everyone so much.... really.... I do...

              I am now back to trying to stay positive and focused on the bigger picture..and here comes another big lesson in patience....one word that is not a favorite now or ever for me...ugh.

                                                             Huggs and love to all of you....Ticia



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All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

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