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What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to negotiate? - 6/27/2006 9:15:23 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		We have as of late discussed when O/one has a weakness, when limits are approached or ignored, trust broken etc--so a different twist:
 
My question is what absolutely will your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder NOT allow you to overlook, forgive, accept, live with or deny?
 
I really had to think through this one so I didn't mention major things like trust etc., but My OCD goes ballistic with procrastination---OMG I so cannot abide that--whether its life or something in the Life--when something isnt done according to plan, it throws My schedule off, then I have to punish, then I have to get to get it done ARGH---more than a few have been dismissed early on for that---I know there are others---but
 
what's YOUR OCD limit?
 
 

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 6/27/2006 9:16:59 AM >

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 9:20:29 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		It would be lack of consistency-I hate having the repeat myself with one who constantly changes her mind.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 9:23:31 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I don't have OCD so I guess I can't answer the question.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 9:29:33 AM   
lisa1978


Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline 		I have to have a solid base of routine and strong consistency. Without those two things I would have mental exhaustion in  no time flat. I could not serve an owner who did everything in their life off the cuff and was not consistent in actions and reactions.

For example I would not do well with an owner who came home from work the same time most nights but would want to eat dinner at all different times for no reason outside of their gut feeling. Would fry my brain.


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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 9:32:40 AM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline 		 I do not have OCD, so my answers would not really apply to the question. However, there are some things that I will not tolerate,such as:

Refusal to discuss a situation that is causing chaos within the relationship. To me, that is a sign of immaturity and I want nothing to do with it.
I will not repeat myself. I tell someone something once, it's then their choice to comply or not.
Screaming. I will not tolerate being screamed at during a discussion. As far as I am concerned, there's the door, use it.
Dishonesty. I am brutally honest, I expect and demand the same. Yes, I said demand. If a person can not be honest with both themselves and me, then we have nothing further to discuss.

Small list, but they are ones that are deal breakers for me in a relationship.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 9:36:04 AM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		I have no OCD problems with the lifestyle. If anything scening gives me a release from it. But when i'm being caned or spanked, or paddled, i HAVE to count each lash. If i lose count, i start over.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 10:11:35 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Every tool should fit its task. One might use the heel of a shoe or a rock to hammer in a nail, but to use a hammer is more efficient.
 
It may be that a procrastinating submissive is in fact a rational dominant. In that case commanding him (or her) to perform a task is as efficient as using a knitting pin to cut down a tree. The knitting pin eventually will succeed, but it is not the right tool for the task.
 
So the first problem is to determine what material, what tool, you are dealing with.
 
The next step is to determine how the tool should be handled. For example, one can use one's toes to write with a ball-pen, but it is more efficient to use thumb and fingers. In case of a submissive or slave - actually any kind of person - one has to study their psychology. Perhaps someone works better in a team, perhaps as an individual.
 
Then there is conditioning and training that upgrades the value of the tool, provided that it does not go against his or her nature.
 
I am an obsessive compulsive solver of - mainly scientific - problems. As such I am frustrated by unsolved scientific mysteries. My response is to solve them.
 
I am also obsessive compulsive about my herpes virus infection. I am determined to eradicate those virusses.
 
I may when in company or when appropriate sometimes relent a bit on my two obsessive compulsions. Also, there are such things as vacations and rest periods.

< Message edited by Rule -- 6/27/2006 10:15:42 AM >

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 10:32:52 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Using semantics for game-playing is the worst!  It sends me staight over the edge!

Back talk... not to be confused with disagreement. 

Doing things "his" way, when I have specifically outlined how I wanted something done.  Yes, the OCD may be MY problem, but when I want it done a certain way, dammitall, I expect it done that way!  If he has a better way  to do it, he's free to propose it (if I ask!), but if I prefer my way he needs to shut up about it and DO it!  LOL. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
My question is what absolutely will your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder NOT allow you to overlook, forgive, accept, live with or deny?
 
I really had to think through this one so I didn't mention major things like trust etc., but My OCD goes ballistic with procrastination---OMG I so cannot abide that--whether its life or something in the Life--when something isnt done according to plan, it throws My schedule off, then I have to punish, then I have to get to get it done ARGH---more than a few have been dismissed early on for that---I know there are others---but
 
what's YOUR OCD limit?
 
 


< Message edited by LadyMorgynn -- 6/27/2006 10:38:14 AM >

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 10:33:46 AM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
My question is what absolutely will your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder NOT allow you to overlook, forgive, accept, live with or deny?
 
what's YOUR OCD limit?


For a long time, I didn't have any of these types of limits, outside the obvious types of things like trying to step past my hard limits scene wise.  The one thing that comes to mind, outside of specifically scening limits - is putting me in Catch 22 Situations.  I loath, despise, and detest Lose-Lose scenarios.  If you're intentionally setting me up to fail - either by lying to me, or simply by knowingly making the task impossible to have a decent outcome on some level - I want nothing to do with you.  I spent to many years in my past dealing with people (both relatives and 'relationships' ) who's primary joy seems to have been in placing everyone around them into a Catch 22.  Nothing, regardless of how well it was done or how perfectly orders were followed, was Good Enough.  If you follow the order, you did something wrong or they changed the order without telling you.  If you modified the order to actually accomplish the goal and work around unforseen problems, that wasn't good enough.  If you didn't follow the order for whatever reason -even unforseen problems, well, that was blatant disobedience and obviously That wasn't allowed or good enough. 
 
I consider it a form of unforgivable emotional abuse - and therefore something that I will not tolerate under any circumstances any longer.  It's the quickest means to find me coming up swinging and violent, intent on expelling you rapidly from my life, preferably with you in sufficient agony both physically and emotionally that you'll have lost your taste for such for eternity.

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Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 10:40:27 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Sounds like users/abusers to me :(  Not healthy people either to play with, or that one would want in one's life on a regular basis.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach
For a long time, I didn't have any of these types of limits, outside the obvious types of things like trying to step past my hard limits scene wise.  The one thing that comes to mind, outside of specifically scening limits - is putting me in Catch 22 Situations.  I loath, despise, and detest Lose-Lose scenarios.  If you're intentionally setting me up to fail - either by lying to me, or simply by knowingly making the task impossible to have a decent outcome on some level - I want nothing to do with you.  I spent to many years in my past dealing with people (both relatives and 'relationships' ) who's primary joy seems to have been in placing everyone around them into a Catch 22.  Nothing, regardless of how well it was done or how perfectly orders were followed, was Good Enough.  If you follow the order, you did something wrong or they changed the order without telling you.  If you modified the order to actually accomplish the goal and work around unforseen problems, that wasn't good enough.  If you didn't follow the order for whatever reason -even unforseen problems, well, that was blatant disobedience and obviously That wasn't allowed or good enough.  


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Lady Morgynn
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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 10:44:52 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Sounds like users/abusers to me :(  Not healthy people either to play with, or that one would want in one's life on a regular basis.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach
For a long time, I didn't have any of these types of limits, outside the obvious types of things like trying to step past my hard limits scene wise.  The one thing that comes to mind, outside of specifically scening limits - is putting me in Catch 22 Situations.  I loath, despise, and detest Lose-Lose scenarios.  If you're intentionally setting me up to fail - either by lying to me, or simply by knowingly making the task impossible to have a decent outcome on some level - I want nothing to do with you.  I spent to many years in my past dealing with people (both relatives and 'relationships' ) who's primary joy seems to have been in placing everyone around them into a Catch 22.  Nothing, regardless of how well it was done or how perfectly orders were followed, was Good Enough.  If you follow the order, you did something wrong or they changed the order without telling you.  If you modified the order to actually accomplish the goal and work around unforseen problems, that wasn't good enough.  If you didn't follow the order for whatever reason -even unforseen problems, well, that was blatant disobedience and obviously That wasn't allowed or good enough.  



Yes I am going to agree with LadyM, although this could be seen as sadism, however, in most scenarios there is some gain on both sides and I don't see it---it strikes Me as an excuse for abuse--major.

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Mistress Hathor


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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 10:47:25 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Catch 22 are a stupid way to amuse oneself..There are more enlightened ways to do this,such as fantasy role playing.

Most slaves I have known craved order and consistency-this sort of thing plunges that into chaos-and I would have to wonder at an alleged master who did not realize that.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 10:48:48 AM   
Tashacurly


Posts: 33
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		Perhaps a little off topic, but don't those of you who *actually* have ocd, ever come across those people who will often say things like "that's just my ocd acting up" or whatever, when they want things their way? That is obviously not OCD, but people use it similar to the ever popular saying from young folk these days such as "that's soooo gay", you know? Just something I noticed.
But, to answer the OP, Hmm...I find that the symptoms of my ocd only really affect daily life activities such as cleaning, dealing with stress etc. When things are more stressful, or I deem them to me, they may not *really* be, I get into my cleaning rituals, which can be anything from *overly* cleaning myself...to overly or obsessively cleaning the house Etc. I also have a ritual for organizing bottles or toiletries in the bathroom...they have to be *just* right, or I get so panicy. And I find this behavior to be very embarrassing, and try to hide it from others, unsucessfully it seems. Oh well.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 10:51:30 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tashacurly

Perhaps a little off topic, but don't those of you who *actually* have ocd, ever come across those people who will often say things like "that's just my ocd acting up" or whatever, when they want things their way? That is obviously not OCD, but people use it similar to the ever popular saying from young folk these days such as "that's soooo gay", you know? Just something I noticed.
But, to answer the OP, Hmm...I find that the symptoms of my ocd only really affect daily life activities such as cleaning, dealing with stress etc. When things are more stressful, or I deem them to me, they may not *really* be, I get into my cleaning rituals, which can be anything from *overly* cleaning myself...to overly or obsessively cleaning the house Etc. I also have a ritual for organizing bottles or toiletries in the bathroom...they have to be *just* right, or I get so panicy. And I find this behavior to be very embarrassing, and try to hide it from others, unsucessfully it seems. Oh well.


Tasha.......I have atually used the ocd tendencies of some slaves in thier day to day routines. If it can be structured as a way to get them to focus,it can have merit. Which makes an otherwise deficit, become a plus.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 11:35:27 AM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Sounds like users/abusers to me :(  Not healthy people either to play with, or that one would want in one's life on a regular basis.



quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
 
Yes I am going to agree with LadyM, although this could be seen as sadism, however, in most scenarios there is some gain on both sides and I don't see it---it strikes Me as an excuse for abuse--major.


Ladies, the Abusive aspect is why I won't tolerate such in my life these days.  Yes, the times it has happened in my past, it was during episodes of Abuse.  It took me a long time, as it does many, to reach a point in my life where I acknowledged to myself that simply because someone wore the mask of BDSM, that didn't make what they were doing something OTHER than abusive.  It wasn't a concept that I particularly Wanted to accept, it wasn't pleasant to contemplate, it certainly wasn't (and to a large extent still isn't) acceptable or Popular as a POV.  With the various abusive prior partners - they didn't stay in my life for any extensive period of time.  With the relative though (not a parent, and not sexually or physically abusive - simply emotionally abusive and extremely manipulative) - it's not as easy to find a solution - walking away wasn't an option for a very long time.  Even having gotten to a point where I was able to walk away and eliminate this relative from my life - I still face the daily challenge of having OTHER relatives, as well as aquaintances, who constantly hound me with the concept that "this is your BLOOD - you can't simply treat her as though she no longer exists and refuse to have anything to do with her. You're going to regret it when she's dead and you can't Resolve Things."  My continuing hope (though it may be in vain) is that they'll eventually understand that Yes.. I CAN refuse.  No, I DON"T have an obligation to be around the person.  And no - I won't regret having cut her off from my life completely when she dies - if anything, perhaps I'll be able to sleep consistantly without nightmares that she's going to manage to somehow insinuate herself back into my existance at that point.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 11:52:09 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
what's YOUR OCD limit?

It's not an OCD thing but I don't negotiate on sex with condoms.

My OCD quirks include eating certain foods, being late, getting lost, and NOT being around eachother while brushing your teeth.  Breaking those would cause me serious distress.

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 1:32:10 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		LA, you never cease to amaze Me, "being around each other while brushing teeth"??? LMAO

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 1:36:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
LA, you never cease to amaze Me, "being around each other while brushing teeth"??? LMAO

You find it funny now, try doing it around me.

I am moderately OCD- and you only asked about the things that are problems when dealing with OTHERS. 

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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 2:02:25 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline
quote:

 
Original: Lisa
I have to have a solid base of routine and strong consistency. Without those two things I would have mental exhaustion in  no time flat. I could not serve an owner who did everything in their life off the cuff and was not consistent in actions and reactions.

For example I would not do well with an owner who came home from work the same time most nights but would want to eat dinner at all different times for no reason outside of their gut feeling. Would fry my brain.


I'm dont have OCD..but could really relate to that. I think because I'm such a watery dreamy person, I really need something to ground me, I need stability and strong consistancy from my partner otherwise I would float away into my own little world and I would feel very unsettled.

I also have a kinda quirk were I hate keys being separated.


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RE: What will your "OCD" NOT allow you to neg... - 6/27/2006 2:16:13 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I have mild to moderate OCD - ditto to what Lisa1978 said. I don't appreciate people who make fun of it (if they even find out about it) - it's not my fault, it's not "curable" and isn't going away, so maybe they could find something useful to do with it instead? I am, most of the time, a neat freak (whoever I end up with, if we live together, is probably going to have one hell of a clean house).

There have been times, though, when I revert to total not caring about how the house looks (there doesn't seem to be any "in-between" ground in this regard).
I also, at times,  have a very difficult time getting my "to-do" list out of my head (even if I am working on it at the time).

And if I am in an extra-vulnerable mood, and someone says something hurtful to me, I can't get it out of my head - I can brood about it for days (I am not sure that is related to having OCD though).  

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/27/2006 3:02:27 PM >

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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