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Applying to serve - 6/29/2013 8:15:49 PM

luvmeasissy

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/9/2013
Status: offline

I am in the beginnings of an arrangement with a Mistress I met in a chat room. It started pretty fast and she wants me to be committed. I understand this and think she deserves this and should expect this from me.
I am at this time in my life. I am ready to give my self completely, to the right person. She wanted all my information about what I wanted and expected in our arrangement, what where my likes and dislikes, my limits, my financial limits,etc. All these questions are fine.I answered them all freely and honestly.She is the dominant and I am the submissive. I am to do, with out question. What I am told. I have done everything she has told me to do so far.
My problem or question is.
Why does she not volunteer information about herself. I still no nothing about her. Me as the sub do not feel right in asking her for anything including information.
It's the same info she wanted from me. Why has she not made any effort to let me know anything about herself.
She gave me a list and wants me to begin purchasing fetish and bondage clothes, toys and equipment so we can start my training. I have No problem with this. I can afford it and I said I would buy what ever we needed to help to make me a better slave .Before I spend any money towards this relationship. Is it wrong to want some voluntary disclosure on her part?(With out me needing to ask).

Post #: 1

RE: Applying to serve - 6/29/2013 8:20:55 PM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline

Another case of someone unaccountably throwing common sense out the window just because BDSM becomes involved.

If you made it to your mid 50's without drowning in a rainstorm, then you can figure this one out.

(in reply to luvmeasissy)

Post #: 2

RE: Applying to serve - 6/29/2013 8:47:16 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: luvmeasissy
She is the dominant and I am the submissive. I am to do, with out question. What I am told. I have done everything she has told me to do so far.

Not until you've given assent.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to luvmeasissy)

Post #: 3

RE: Applying to serve - 6/29/2013 8:51:14 PM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

You can't be seriously wondering what to do here can you? Someone isn't really paying any attention to you beyond giving lip service to the idea of a relationship, and wants you to invest money into things and you're wondering if it's legit? Come on...

How do you know this is a woman? If you do ask her questions about herself or her motives, and she rejects this 'relationship' that is supposed to be forming, do you really think it's a bad thing to miss out on something that one sided?

(in reply to luvmeasissy)

Post #: 4

RE: Applying to serve - 6/29/2013 9:16:18 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

I sent you a private message regarding your situation...

--MM

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 5

RE: Applying to serve - 6/29/2013 9:17:03 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

FRing it here. Did she by chance include a particular site to buy these items? If so, this could be a very clever way to make some money off of you. Just sayin'....

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 6

RE: Applying to serve - 6/29/2013 9:23:08 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

Tread careful and be on alert, OP. I'm naturally suspicious by nature, so I'd feel like I was getting played if I was in your situation.

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 7

RE: Applying to serve - 6/29/2013 9:49:55 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Dude, she's not looking for a relationship. She's looking for an arrangement.

If someone did this to you in real life and in a "vanilla" setting, would you still feel the same???

All I can do is shake my head when I read these threads.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 8

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 4:31:23 AM

goodgirlmary

Posts: 478
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline

Is this an online training type thing?several doms have approached me with similar styles, you give your info they give zilch. Butthey didnt require purchases. There are some who just get excited by exploitation. If you are lookingfor a relationship, I do not know ifId consider this. If you are looking for training,then maybe, although the buy things is concerning.
I would be very very wary

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 9

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 6:44:22 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

I am going to be very candid here. I have been through a similar experience, and if you think you feel frustrated now, you just wait! Is this your first rodeo in BDSM?
If you are wanting a real live two way relationship, with give and take, forget it. This is a road to you give, she takes and it sucks.
SOme people are into that kind of thing, but it really doesn't sound like you are. Trust me they will take until you have nothing left to give. I am not talking just money, I am talking your power, your esteem, etc.
I am going to make a big call here, and stick my nose in where it doesn't belong. Get out, its not a healthy relationship, its not really even a relationship.

Its about someone getting off on having power over you, and they don't care how you feel.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 6/30/2013 6:45:53 AM >

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to goodgirlmary)

Post #: 10

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 8:15:44 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Guys, be gentle, male sissys have a VERY rough time.

So, first off, no REAL mistress of quality is going to expect you to open up completely without doing so in return.

They treat you as a person BEFORE they turn you into a slave because a person of quality wants a real person, not,a chartoon version of one.

The fantasy of how all this works is VERY different than the reality.

For example, the fantasy of treating a woman like a good for nothing cum guzzling whore is super hot for me. However, if she is really good for nothing or just a whore, why would someone like me want them for a partner? What challenge is there in it for me? In fact, meeting a woman who thought,she was fgood for nothing would instead make me want treat her well and help her become strong and independent.

THEN TREAT HER LIKE A WHORE, but knowing she,was now free to make that choice unlike before. And most of the time she would be treated as my most cherished posession.

Can you see the world of difference?

So a mistress of quality will treat you very different than this one is doing. She might be new and just as lost as you, in which case some honest open communication might make things better, or she is a nutcase.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 11

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 8:43:41 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

This person (I suspect you have no idea if they really are female) is attempting to use your sissy fetish for financial gain. They probably get some power kick out of it as well.

You know this isn't right, that's why you posted here looking for advice. Read Simply Micheal's post until you understand and agree that you deserve better.

You don't have to be a slave to your fetish. It's hard finding a dominant female into the sissy fetish, but they do exist, and they won't ask you for money while giving nothing in return.

_____________________________

(in reply to luvmeasissy)

Post #: 12

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 9:03:29 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

It's hard finding a dominant female into the sissy fetish, but they do exist, and they won't ask you for money while giving nothing in return.

I have a strong dislike of those who prey on people for money and I missed that in the original post, thanks for pointing it out.

Sissy, this person is NOT a mistress, she isn't even an honest whore, she is a LYING whore. Are you near a big city where you could participate in real world scene events?

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 13

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 9:24:39 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Why does she not volunteer information about herself.

She could be married or actually a man.

quote:

I still no nothing about her. Me as the sub do not feel right in asking her for anything including information.

It seems like you want a real-time relationship, rather than online only. I recommend not entering into a dynamic until you have met the other person. You may not click in real life. This happened to me twice - fabulous long distance relationships evaporated like mist under the harsh lights of reality.

How can you know if you want to be in a relationship with her if you do not know anything about her other than she turns you on online?

If she's not willing to give up information about herself, she's not a good match for you.

_____________________________

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(in reply to luvmeasissy)

Post #: 14

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 9:44:18 AM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

luvmeasissy,

In 20 days of being here on site, you are ready to commit to 'this' person without knowing anything about them? What does that say? You are asking about her, but let's bring this to a place of more use and address why YOU would be willing to put yourself at risk to do what you ultimately wish to do, in making the d/s connection you want. This should not be about her. It should be about you. Whether or not she is good or bad, fair or unfair or is for real or playing some sort of game, what matters here in the long run with this situation and others, is how you decide to proceed with your life and how you conduct yourself concerning relationships of any sort.

You already knew something was wrong, but you willingly gave information to a stranger. What kind of information did you give? If it wasn't anything that could hurt you or your life... good. If it was... you need to really look at that and ask yourself, maybe, why you would give personal information to a stranger. If it was just information about who you are and what you seek, your next question could be, why are you putting yourself out there on an emotional level without anything in return? Do you want this so badly that you would accept this and a dominant's 'right' (yeah right at this stage) that you will later question, rather than building it from the start? This is about you.

Many on this thread have said things I agree with from the more straight talkin comments to the fact that a decent domina wouldn't do this. I can't think of anything I disagree with. I also acknowledge that gender issues is a huge topic and there are things to consider there. However, whatever those things are and whatever they are to you as an individual, you cannot lose your mind in an attempt to be accepted, a part of something or gain what you want in life. You already know that as you are seeing it as not right and yet, it is what it is. You have done it. Now... find your reasons and strengths and get out there and provide your own safety net and foundation no matter who says or does what.

And... one last thing. Are you aware that your profile says you weigh over 400 pounds? At 6'2 and if that is you in the picture... no friggin way unless you are made of steel and even then, you would be a lightweight at around four hundred pounds.

< Message edited by Rawni -- 6/30/2013 9:47:04 AM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 15

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 10:15:05 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

Poster if you do come back to read the comments. People are truly not trying to be harsh, myself included. I apologize if I do. Just would hate to see someone else go through what I did. Its good to see a trainwreck before it happens. *WINK WINK*

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 16

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 10:43:04 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

OP, let me ask you this: If this were a vanilla relationship, would you find this acceptable?

I realize you're excited, but don't think with your genitals. Look at it rationally.

You're committed, she's not. And I suspect you're being used to buy her things.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 17

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 11:16:41 AM

BambiBoi

Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline

Your question is very specific: Should she be voluntarily disclosing equal facts. This post makes me realize I rarely volunteer information about myself. I ask many questions and gladly respond, but usually enjoy talking about them more. Hopefully she's just doing that. If that's the case, just ask questions.

Where does she live?
Does she have any others serving her?
Has she done this before?
What does she ultimately want from me.

Any dominant who would be offended by these sorts of questions being respectfully asked is not worth submitted to.

A mandatory warning...

There have been some great points about how this possibly a scam.

It's not uncommon for people to come to BDSM websites and prey on submissive males (most often sissy types). You decide the line between the real kink of financial domination, and "just some woman (or some man with pictures of some woman) doing the bare minimum to get money out of your pocket." You want to send her $100 because it makes you feel weak and objectified? That's on you. Personally, I think you get more bang for your sissy-buck paying a makeup expert to make you feel like a pretty girl.

Don't give out banking information or credit cards. Understand that any money you give is never coming back.

_____________________________

<3

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 18

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 5:44:30 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I hope by financial info you don't mean credit card numbers and bank account number. If so, run, do not walk. Cancel these accounts and open new ones. And tell the cops you did this so they can have her arrested for fraud. They will be able to track her through your print chat logs as well as through her stealing from you.

Next time, tell her that you don't disclose these things until she's ready to meet and do the same. Because if you meet and there's no chemistry, you don't need to share sensitive info. The only time these kinds of things need to be exchanged is once you're in a relationship.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to BambiBoi)

Post #: 19

RE: Applying to serve - 6/30/2013 6:13:56 PM

VideoAdminAlpha

Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

Have you looked at this persons profile? Is is visible? Are you able to pull it up? Or does it say no profile found? I dont usually do this but I am sending you a pm to try to help you...couple more questions if I may...is she offering real time meeting? If not, there is no reason to even think about buying equipment, etc, especially not pricey and a bunch of it, not for first sessions at the very least, IF SHE IS NOT DISCLOSING ANYTHING ABOUT HERSELF AND AT LEAST PROVEN SHE IS FEMALE AND LEGIT. Warning signs(big ones)

1) Her approaching you. You do not have much on your profile, and although you are perfectly lovely, her approaching you without anything in your profile that delineates you from "the crowd" is a possible warning sign.

2) getting you off this site to chat ot talk immediately and not wanting to do it here. There is a reason.

3) her asking about your financial status in regards to how long you will be able to see her(if there is tribute) or to find out financial info to see what the limit is dollarwise on toys. Legit pro-dommes may tell you what they expect up front but (to the best of my knowledge) dont try to get commitments about length of time etc, WHEN THEY HAVE NOT EVEN MET YOU, or even after. You are not entering into a lifestyle commitment.

4) THEY WANT YOU TO COMMIT AND HAVE NOT MET YOU, AND/OR WILL NOT MEET YOU, AND GIVE NO INFORMATION ABOUT THEMSELVES.

_____________________________

You can't please all the people all of the time.Unfortunately there are times you cannot please any of them :( You can only do your best, and hope they realize that.

(in reply to luvmeasissy)

Post #: 20

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