Really stupid question...apologize in advance

Really stupid question...apologize in advance (Full Version)

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TieMeInKnottss -> Really stupid question...apologize in advance (6/30/2013 9:33:42 PM)
Why do so many people immediately ask for a Yahoo ID? What is any different about chatting, emailing, IMing off-site to on-site? Yeah, I know when they ask to cam or Skype...they are hoping to get you naked but why Yahoo? Please understand...I have never done the Yahoo, Skype, cam thing even before I became involved with my current Dom/Master so I am not asking about requests made of me...this is just one of those "enquiring minds want to know" things.

Missdressed -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (6/30/2013 9:35:28 PM)
I think it's because with Skype the default is a video chat, whereas with yahoo it's instant messaging first, leading to call/video chat later? Maybe?

OsideGirl -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (6/30/2013 9:49:06 PM)
I think it's three reasons: 1) It's a quicker response time 2) They think that they have the monopoly on the conversation 3) When they get you off of collarme, the rules don't apply.

Duskypearls -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (6/30/2013 10:11:24 PM)
Good question, TieMe, and great answer Oside. It always disturbs me when fellows push for that before they've earned the right. Anyone who doesn't have the patience, self-control, respect, willingness and ability to organically grow a relationship or push for things before their time, for play or otherwise, is given no quarter by me. I find them untrustworthy. A gentle suggestion or request for it is one thing, a demand, another.

Missdressed -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (6/30/2013 10:15:29 PM)
See, I think I read,the question differently to you guys. I read it as why yahoo specifically, as opposed to Skype, if you see what I mean?

imin2bdsm -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (6/30/2013 10:21:31 PM)
Yahoo's IM is easier to use and more reliable the CM's. YIM works easily on most browsers where as CM's chat either crashes or fails to connect. Yahoo is free, accounts are easily set up anonymously AND YIM allows logging of chat whech CM does not. That is why so many want to proceed to Yahoo so quickly.

lovethyself -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (6/30/2013 11:27:06 PM)
I prefer yahoo messenger because they keep logs of the chats that I can access through my account. They are also a site I can access while at work (or on a work device). Finally, personally, my phone doesn't format properly when messaging from collarme (it doesn't recognize the return key, so there ends up being no paragraphs), so to appease the formatting nazi inside, I have to find a different medium. ETA: as to why yahoo specifically? I don't know. Possibly the messenger chat program is easy to use, ties into your account automatically, and is well known (ie. reputable).

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 2:59:10 AM)
No. I meant why do they want to go offsite? To me...the whole adding someone..., confirming... Is a pain in the butt. Plus, if you do all that and find out you have nothing to talk about...you have to delete the whole thing! Granted, I am not an IMer...I generally get distracted & forget to follow or check back & the other person ends up having a one-sided conversation. At first, especially when it always seemed to be the "wannabe FinDomme" I thought maybe they somehow got compensated for it...but if there is no reward..it makes no sense to me!

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 3:14:40 AM)
A 'dom' rushing a potential sub to do anything is red flag behavior to me. Many so called doms are really online hunters and subs are the prey. They grade their interactions according to 'how soon can I get her on yahoo?' 'how soon can I get a pic?' how soon can I get a naked pic?' 'how soon can I get her camming, or calling me master, or well you get the drill. It's a game to them. These desktop doms are most likely hiding in their mother's basement, and have never met a real live female (other than mom). They tend to be easy to spot.

TNDommeK -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 5:24:04 AM)
The only way I ask for yahoo or Skype is for verification purposes. After which it's to talk easier than waiting for messages.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 6:13:05 AM)
I don't like using any messaging system because of the porn sites that advertise on there. Apparently they don't take in account that I am a female, not a male.

goodgirlmary -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 6:31:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt A 'dom' rushing a potential sub to do anything is red flag behavior to me. Many so called doms are really online hunters and subs are the prey. They grade their interactions according to 'how soon can I get her on yahoo?' 'how soon can I get a pic?' how soon can I get a naked pic?' 'how soon can I get her camming, or calling me master, or well you get the drill. It's a game to them. These desktop doms are most likely hiding in their mother's basement, and have never met a real live female (other than mom). They tend to be easy to spot. is this generally true?

MercTech -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 7:20:43 AM)
Yahoo Instant Messenger and Skype messaging are a neutral forum and easy to access. Collarme mail means having to access a website then go to the mail and deal with a clunky java app to reply to a message. It is easier to carry on a conversation with Skype messaging, Yahoo, or any other IM than to have to keep checking a website. My usual take on someone that wants to keep any conversation in CM mail is not really interested in a conversation but has some other agenda.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 9:19:33 AM)
The scammers can sell your yahoo id/email, your cm name has zero value.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 9:29:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missdressed I think it's because with Skype the default is a video chat, whereas with yahoo it's instant messaging first, leading to call/video chat later? Maybe? This is incorrect. I have been using Skype since before they HAD video chat. When you open the chat window of the person you wish to speak with, there are two green buttons. One says: "Video Call" and has a "movie camera" icon and the other says: "Call". In the options, there are settings where you can automatically accept video from someone that's calling you (not a good idea) but there is no "default video" coming *from* you. Now, to the main OP: There is a lot of merit (to my mind) of actually being able to speak to someone. Initially, I don't give a whit about video chat until I have conversed with a person to see if I care what they look like. I like to speak so I can hear the vocal inflections and be able to tell if someone is just being "funny". Have you ever had a conversation end abruptly because a little joke didn't get interpretted as meant? As far as typing goes, there are people that really aren't comfortable with their typing skills; this can include the actual typing, spelling, etc. (ever seen the threads about people that "hate" people that type in txt speak?) and these people might do a pretty good job of "holding their own" when it comes to verbal communication. I don't use yahell because it's a faulty program that's full of backdoors for lamers to potentially do some damage to your comp. but Skype is a way to get a better idea of what a person is really like without giving out one's phone number. There's still a bit of "anonymity", should the conversation not go as desired. Peace and comfort, Michael ETA: of course, since Skype got purchased by Microcrap, it's been going downhill so I reserve the right to change my opinion, without notice.

lizi -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 9:32:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt A 'dom' rushing a potential sub to do anything is red flag behavior to me. Many so called doms are really online hunters and subs are the prey. They grade their interactions according to 'how soon can I get her on yahoo?' 'how soon can I get a pic?' how soon can I get a naked pic?' 'how soon can I get her camming, or calling me master, or well you get the drill. It's a game to them. These desktop doms are most likely hiding in their mother's basement, and have never met a real live female (other than mom). They tend to be easy to spot. is this generally true? In my experience I wouldn't have said the above scenario was generally true, although it happens. Usually I see the fast hunting taking place because there aren't very many women available, and the guys want to lock themselves in before you think it over for too long. I've seen it happen that they want to get you off the market asap so they have a shot. I've had several men on the other side tell me that the shelf life of a 'decent' woman on CM is ridiculously small so they push to get her off line or into a taken status so they don't have to compete against so many anymore.

Missdressed -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 9:48:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr quote: ORIGINAL: Missdressed I think it's because with Skype the default is a video chat, whereas with yahoo it's instant messaging first, leading to call/video chat later? Maybe? This is incorrect. I have been using Skype since before they HAD video chat. When you open the chat window of the person you wish to speak with, there are two green buttons. One says: "Video Call" and has a "movie camera" icon and the other says: "Call". In the options, there are settings where you can automatically accept video from someone that's calling you (not a good idea) but there is no "default video" coming *from* you. Now, to the main OP: There is a lot of merit (to my mind) of actually being able to speak to someone. Initially, I don't give a whit about video chat until I have conversed with a person to see if I care what they look like. I like to speak so I can hear the vocal inflections and be able to tell if someone is just being "funny". Have you ever had a conversation end abruptly because a little joke didn't get interpretted as meant? As far as typing goes, there are people that really aren't comfortable with their typing skills; this can include the actual typing, spelling, etc. (ever seen the threads about people that "hate" people that type in txt speak?) and these people might do a pretty good job of "holding their own" when it comes to verbal communication. I don't use yahell because it's a faulty program that's full of backdoors for lamers to potentially do some damage to your comp. but Skype is a way to get a better idea of what a person is really like without giving out one's phone number. There's still a bit of "anonymity", should the conversation not go as desired. Peace and comfort, Michael ETA: of course, since Skype got purchased by Microcrap, it's been going downhill so I reserve the right to change my opinion, without notice. True about the video calling - You're absolutely right. I should have clarified. To say IN MY HEAD [;)] Skype is all about video calls, because that's what I used (and still use) it for, before it became part of Microcrap (love it!) and when there was still Microsoft IM and Yahoo IM and others. Which IN MY HEAD are used for messaging by text rather than video calls.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 10:24:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missdressed I should have clarified. To say IN MY HEAD [;)] Skype is all about video calls, because that's what I used (and still use) it for, before it became part of Microcrap (love it!) and when there was still Microsoft IM and Yahoo IM and others. Which IN MY HEAD are used for messaging by text rather than video calls. Isn't it kind of ironic that one of the last ones to add video chat (the old company, which I believe was Belgian held out for as long as they could) is the one that most people think of as a "video" chat? When Skype first added video, the sound quality was greatly reduced for quite some time (I know there were numerous "fixes" but I think it took two full new versions for them to get back on track). I almost stopped using the damned thing. Peace and comfort, Michael

goodgirlmary -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 10:40:32 AM)
I feel mean now.but i cant weed out enrhusiasm from craziness, not this early.hmm quote: ORIGINAL: lizi quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt A 'dom' rushing a potential sub to do anything is red flag behavior to me. Many so called doms are really online hunters and subs are the prey. They grade their interactions according to 'how soon can I get her on yahoo?' 'how soon can I get a pic?' how soon can I get a naked pic?' 'how soon can I get her camming, or calling me master, or well you get the drill. It's a game to them. These desktop doms are most likely hiding in their mother's basement, and have never met a real live female (other than mom). They tend to be easy to spot. is this generally true? In my experience I wouldn't have said the above scenario was generally true, although it happens. Usually I see the fast hunting taking place because there aren't very many women available, and the guys want to lock themselves in before you think it over for too long. I've seen it happen that they want to get you off the market asap so they have a shot. I've had several men on the other side tell me that the shelf life of a 'decent' woman on CM is ridiculously small so they push to get her off line or into a taken status so they don't have to compete against so many anymore.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Really stupid question...apologize in advance (7/1/2013 8:17:25 PM)
This is all fascinating... @MercTech- I am the exact opposite..I automatically don't trust someone who immediately asks for a Yahoo ID...like I said..the whole setup, deleting if it doesn't work, having them "pop" up every time I sign on to speak to someone else... @Daddy and Michael--see that is the type of suspicious line of thought I had!!! I figured there had to be some nefarious reason!!! @lizi-LOL... I had the OPPOSITE problem...I could never sew up a Dom !!! I used to refer to it as "DDS-Disappearing Dom Syndrome" @TNK and Daddy- I would do the phone call thing only after I was comfortable with someone. I actually emailed with Malcolm hrough this site for a while in the beginning and did not give him my phone# & I had been following him on the boards for a while & was pretty sure he was not a nutcase.

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