RE: What if/ in the event of.... (Full Version)

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tazzygirl -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 3:31:57 PM)

My family knows. My partner indulges with me. I dont think anyone would be shocked. Even my physician knows.




frazzle -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 4:26:44 PM)

FR

My son knows and knows all my passwords and wouldn't be bothered.

Joys of having an accepting family.

Ok son would head at, where are the the bank account passwords first, because those he doesn't have. lol




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 4:48:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Wear this:


[image]local://upfiles/1460782/3E1E502F652C489AA81D285EF3612B9E.jpg[/image]


LOL I Love this




DesFIP -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 5:17:39 PM)

My daughter would know it was consensual. I don't talk to them about what I enjoy in bed but they've seen him give me a swat on the ass before kissing me.

Again, we don't teach shame in my family so it wouldn't damage them.

Although when my allergies were acting up and I had these huge circles under my eyes, my daughter did say that if he blacked my eye, I should tell her and she would hit him for me.




Darkfeather -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 6:05:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm


Forget the toys and who would find them. What about your partner who could at least be questioned by the police if not brought p on charges. Family could find out you was bruised all over, if your partner was close to them, how would they react?


From what I know of the law, unless you are underage, physical condition rarely is grounds enough to be charged. Unless you happen to answer the door to the police with a knife in your ribs and missing one eye... Only thing they can do is ask the party involved if charges are warranted, or if in the case of a dead body defer to detectives and an autopsy. Now any forensic doctor should be able to determine cause of death, cane marks or nipple clamp bruises aside, so kink related injuries would not even come up other than notes in the report. And honestly, if you talk to some medical examiners you'll find that kinky scars are the least embarrassing things they find. Alcohol and loneliness has resulted in more than one completely strange object inserted up a given orifice, to fatal results, or a tattoo one had planned to remove but died before. Hell, I still have my grandmother's whimsical advice playing in the back of my psyche "always wear clean underpants, you wouldn't want the ambulance driver to see you in dirty ones". As if the first think going across my mind on the way to the pearly gates would be, oh crap that guy is going to see my skivvies as he searches around for my other leg




ARIES83 -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 6:44:26 PM)

Tammy,
I had to perv your profile, in all but one pic, you look uncannily like someone I know!
About the OP, I don't have any special postmortem plans in place relating to my kink...
It would probably be a very good idea though.




littlewonder -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 10:03:16 PM)

No because I simply don't care. I'm dead. What the hell would I care what someone finds on my computer or in my home? Who cares?

If my daughter found toys she'd just roll her eyes and say "eeww" and throw them in the garbage. As for my collarme account, she already knows I go to sites like this. I really have nothing to hide from anyone.








tammystarm -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 10:35:50 PM)

Again, for me the most important part of the question is ending up with the hospital, morgue, family finding those marks and looking for answers to them. O/our town is tiny and LOVES any bit of scandal/drama it can get its hands on. I see this scenario not to so much as what they will find in the bedroom or computer BUT I see it as Arturas grieving whie in handcuffs being questioned. It would be in the local paper for sure.




littlewonder -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/4/2013 10:49:45 PM)

eehh..I guess if you're all that worried, write a letter now and leave it someplace safe for him to pull out at such a time.

When I had to have some minor surgery last year I had bruises on me and the nurses asked me about them. I just told them we liked kinky sex and they were fine with the answer. No big deal.

But like I said, if it's a concern, just leave a letter behind. Yeah, it may not work depending on how you died but just for bruises and cuts? Most morticians can tell the difference between what caused the death and what didn't. If they didn't cause your death they won't care unless your death is truly suspicious but unless you lead that kind of life where there's a high probability that something like that will happen to you in your life, it's just a not something I think you have to worry about all that much.







Darkfeather -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 4:02:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

Again, for me the most important part of the question is ending up with the hospital, morgue, family finding those marks and looking for answers to them. O/our town is tiny and LOVES any bit of scandal/drama it can get its hands on. I see this scenario not to so much as what they will find in the bedroom or computer BUT I see it as Arturas grieving whie in handcuffs being questioned. It would be in the local paper for sure.


As I already said, unless the injuries were grievous in nature, the police would do nothing but check further into them, i.e. wait for the autopsy report. And unless you had died from spanking or rope burns, no one would be in handcuffs or get questioned by detectives, and being in the newspapers would be a sue-able offense. Worse case scenario, you would give the M.E. an interesting anecdote to tell his family that night, though I bet even those guys keep decorum intact with regards to the dead.




TieMeInKnottss -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 4:33:51 AM)

My take on what OP is most concerned about is a situation where the sub dies unexpectedly and there would be some type of investigation or autopsy. Yes, you die in a car crash or after a lengthy known illness...there is no suspicion... Die suddenly while being suspended from the ceiling, or tied up and gagged, or during impact play...even having a heart attack, there would be questions of whether the attack was caused by something your partner was doing, if he/she was negligent or reckless, if you were a willing participant (any drugs/alcohol in your system that were given to "force" compliance?)

MN and I like breath play... I trust him and know the risks. He accepts the risk to me & to himself if something happens. Oddly enough..I think him being able to show these type of public postings by me would prove that I was not coerced, unaware of the risks, or psychologically impaired (how often does the law use the litmus test of "would the average adult....?" & people, we are NOT average in this).




tammystarm -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 6:08:47 AM)

[sm=agree.gif]. What she said.




MasterCaneman -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 10:18:27 AM)

Hrmmm. Personally, the most my survivors would have to contend with comprises a single mechanic's tool bag and a jump drive with my writings, art, and favorite images. As for dying under 'scene' conditions, I have a take on that.

Years ago, I was am employee of a fetish/swingers club. We had a written policy in place dealing with just that eventuality. If memory serves, this is the procedure: remove subject from scene/situation, attempt CPR/other interventions we were capable of doing, if subject is wearing clothing/gear/attire that may raise questions, remove unless doing so would jeopardize their condition. As soon as possible, remove subject to one of the 'safe' rooms we had (we had a room set up for aftercare that was stocked with basic and advanced first-aid supplies).

If subject needs to be sent on to the hospital, we had a gurney to take them to the rear loading area for ambulance pickup. If we suspected a spinal/neck injury, we weren't to move them, but to essentially get the patrons out of the establishment as quickly and quietly as possible and have paramedics enter the play area to do the removal. This dicta was drafted by one of the club's owners, a medical doctor, and vetted by another of the owners, a practicing attorney. It was meant to protect the privacy of not only the subject, but the other club members as much as possible. There were some folks there whose careers and family lives could not withstand the scrutiny of being injured/dying in a fetish club.

I worked there for a couple years, and we only had one heart attack (mild, and handled according to protocol), and about fifteen to twenty other injuries ranging from broken bones, unintentional lacerations, etc. To my knowledge, only one person died as a result of an evening there, but he had already left the club and was in a hotel room when he expired, so the linkage would have been tenuous at best. Many of the members were of an advanced age (at least to twentysomething me), late 50's-60's, male, high-stress positions in real life, so every night was a watch and see affair. As "safety guy" (we didn't use the term 'dungeon master' except for the emcee of the evening), a big part of my job was to observe the patrons to nip problems like this in the bud.

Yes, we had a death protocol, but the exact details were only know to the owners/managers. What little I knew was that if someone died, one of the security/safety guys was to take the membership logs and sign-ins out of the building as soon as possible, and the others were to 'clean-up' the surrounding areas (not the death scene) as quickly as possible to minimize what the police and paras would see when they arrived. The owners went to great lengths to mitigate circumstances that could lead to the demise of a club member, so this was largely an academic exercise.




Kana -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 10:53:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm

On the flip side to bondage/ confinement preparedness, In the event of...
( this was taken from another site)
Does anyone have a protocol in place, in the event of an untimely death? Do you have someone you trust...to shut down your account, disperse of your toys? Etc... I know we would all like to think we will live to an age, where we may outlive our kinks...but things can happen, that may be unexpected. What if you have children or parents, who may not understand, and be shamed to discover your kinks? Or do you just say, screw it. I'm dead, why should I care.....




I have a buddy who owns a butcher shop-he's always wanted to dispose of a body. ;-)




MasterCaneman -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 10:56:47 AM)

Go look up Eating Raoul...




Kana -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 11:26:59 AM)

Or Sweeney Todd.

He's seriously discussed it, as in, he'd be truly and righteously pissed if I did anything else with a body but come to him.

I have sick friends. Like no shit.




Dyfrynt -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 11:47:25 AM)

To the OP: If your kinky side is private, and you have no good friends you could confide in, some sort of quasi-legal document would not be out of line. By quasi I mean rather than going to the expense of a lawyer, just a document signed by the two of you and notarized, by a Notary Public would be sufficient.




Dyfrynt -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 11:54:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

MN and I like breath play... I trust him and know the risks. He accepts the risk to me & to himself if something happens. Oddly enough..I think him being able to show these type of public postings by me would prove that I was not coerced, unaware of the risks, or psychologically impaired (how often does the law use the litmus test of "would the average adult....?" & people, we are NOT average in this).


I am no lawyer TMiK, so I don't know. I am unsure what would happen if you accidentally died during breath play. Depending on the perception of the police and prosecution attorneys, I could see it a definite possibility he could be charged with murder. So I hope you are correct that he does understand the risks involved.

Involuntary Manslaughter Definition:
Involuntary manslaughter usually refers to an unintentional killing that results from recklessness or criminal negligence, or from an unlawful act that is a misdemeanor or low-level felony (such as DUI). The usual distinction from voluntary manslaughter is that involuntary manslaughter (sometimes called "criminally negligent homicide") is a crime in which the victim's death is unintended.

Read More Here: http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/involuntary-manslaughter-overview.html?DCMP=ADC-CRIM_MurderBroadModifier-ManslaughterInvoluntary&HBX_PK=involuntary+manslaughter




tammystarm -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 12:07:38 PM)

Very awesome protocol. THIS needs to be in place in every club. I am sure every club does have some protocol in place, this makes me wonder to what extent.
Which is a point. Clean up is key here.
While my Dominant/Better half is more logical i am more emotional, He could figure out that the ropes tied to the bed probably should be put away before EMS arrives, especially in an effy situation.




tammystarm -> RE: What if/ in the event of.... (7/5/2013 12:11:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Or Sweeney Todd.

He's seriously discussed it, as in, he'd be truly and righteously pissed if I did anything else with a body but come to him.

I have sick friends. Like no shit.


Wow, I've always joked about friends with shovels ( ie. everyone saying they were so sorry to hear about our lose when the kid's father passed away, in which I would respond, " No problem, I have friends with shovels."), but THATs a whole new level. Ummm, you call this guy a friend, yep guess I would too!

Yikes!




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