|
AWingedGuardian -> RE: Was it too much to ask?! (7/8/2013 10:57:55 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetAngel43211
I was supposed to be going on a date tomorrow. But, when he mentioned maybe ending up at his place at some point I asked him for his address so that I could give it to my sister for safety purposes. He refused to do so stating that he doesn't give his address to strangers... I then asked if he would even give me a street close to his place I could get to and give to her if I needed to leave for whatever reason and have her come get me. I told him that I didn't see that happening, but that while I always hope for the best I always plan for the worst. He said it made no sense because he had already told me that he would pick me up and bring me home... I didn't feel comfortable with that answer so I told him that he wouldn't be picking me up then. He didn't answer back and promptly went offline. My question is was it too much to ask for his address or even a street name close to him for safety and peace of mind purposes?
I can see how in a fashion you might feel the need to allow him to pick you up, control where you go, what you do, where you end up. Some simply have that "need to serve" in a stronger sense than others. However those "others" also likely have either had a bad experience or are just as skeptical as I am. I will echo some of the thoughts here in that I am glad to hear you denied him the opportunity, as opposed to hearing about you being some bad story on the news.
Your comfort level is of the utmost importance. As anyone claiming to be a Dom should know, it isn't necessarily about coercing you to do what he wants you to do, so much as taking everything at your pace on the first time around. Especially if you feel that play might be involved. I'll not pass judgements for returning to his place on the first date, because I myself have had that occur, but with good-hearted intentions, open communication, and an establishment of trust or comfort first off. Much of that was the fact that I wasn't the one driving them around, which I have no problem with. Down the road if everything keeps going well, then I might make that call and do the driving, however a mutual respect should be in place from the first time meeting. Don't be so eager to jump into the submissive role. If he is demanding everything of you from day one? That doesn't make you a "bad sub", which I have noticed you were afraid of being. Your safety is key, as well a mutual compliance with one another. Some of the play in this community can get rather dangerous, especially if handled incorrectly. Just because you might be a submissive online, doesn't mean you shouldn't be treated as a regular person when you first meet. There is now power play dynamic in place at that point, and for him to expect one is bothersome.
Red Flags indeed. I am glad we're hearing the positive outcome of this. Drop him. There are plenty of others out there, and you are young enough to have the energy to find them.
|
|
|
|
