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Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 9:26:40 AM   
LADYFREESPIRT


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline 		My Dom and I have been together for close to 5 years now. He introduced me to D/s about 3 years ago. I am sub to Him at home, He moved in with me 2 years ago, He is the Man of the house in all ways and I am His girl.

We have been talking, He would like to take the relationship, real time 24/7 My question is can fantasy and real life coexist?

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 9:32:16 AM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		You may need to explain what you mean by real time 24/7. How someone else's views that could be very different and we need to know exactly what you mean. Or, at least I do.

(in reply to LADYFREESPIRT)
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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 9:32:58 AM   
deliriuminabox


Posts: 135
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline 		It sounds as if you already have ... ?

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 9:43:58 AM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		Every one is different. But it sounds like your already living an awesome fantasy reality. But your question tells me you feel something ain't right. I'd like a lot more info before I comment but I get that this may be personal as hell. That's way cool. Real fantasies can happen. But both parties need to work at it. If there is an issue that bothers you you should handle that rather than ignore it to keep the fantasy alive. If this does not work there are lots of other fantasy dudes or gals out there. Don't fear trading up. It usually works out great.

(I kept trading up till I hit jackpot with my wife.). Worked for me. Will work for you too.

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I am a lover AND a fighter...

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 9:55:41 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

You may need to explain what you mean by real time 24/7. How someone else's views that could be very different and we need to know exactly what you mean. Or, at least I do.


And also, what is the fantasy?


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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 10:02:48 AM   
deliriuminabox


Posts: 135
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchNSpanky

(I kept trading up till I hit jackpot with my wife.). Worked for me. Will work for you too.



Leave a relationship that's been working for 5 years to "trade up" on the off chance that if you keep at it, eventually you'll find the fantasy guy or girl of your ... Fantasies? Um, wut?

I'm glad it seems to have worked for you. (Or so you claim at least.) But if I were your wife and I read this, I'd be seriously reconsidering the nature of our relationship.

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“Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.” ~Tori Amos

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 10:55:29 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LADYFREESPIRT

My Dom and I have been together for close to 5 years now. He introduced me to D/s about 3 years ago. I am sub to Him at home, He moved in with me 2 years ago, He is the Man of the house in all ways and I am His girl.

We have been talking, He would like to take the relationship, real time 24/7 My question is can fantasy and real life coexist?



I live the fantasy every day.
What's that line LP uses, I don't have fantasies, I have future plans.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 11:23:47 AM   
Dyfrynt


Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline 		To the OP: Why do you consider that the fantasy you have is not real life? This confuses me......

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 11:27:33 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		If you live together, and your the sub in a living arrangement, Im confused too, how is it not real time and fantasy right now?

But I do think the two can merge, you betcha.


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My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 11:30:38 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LADYFREESPIRT
My question is can fantasy and real life coexist?




They can and do for many of us on this board, but I whether your fantasy and real life can coexist depends upon a) your fantasy and b) your real life.

If your fantasy is to be naked, chained and butt plugged 24/7, and your real life involves you being the breadwinner through your work as a barrister... then no. We have a member here whose big fantasy is to be kept in a stable and used as a horse to work the land, 24/7 forever. There are very few 'real life' scenarios which could coexist with that. But most of us want things that can be blended more easily with reality. For me to have a dominant-all-the-time partner but be given a lot of freedom and get freaky in the bedroom is the fantasy. Fits just fine with our real life of running a business and raising a family.

edit: spelling

< Message edited by AthenaSurrenders -- 7/5/2013 11:31:54 AM >

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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 1:21:59 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If by 24/7 you mean him saying he wants to grill so get out burgers and put away the chicken pot pie fixings, that's common here. As is him saying no brussel sprouts, ever.

Now it's true that I never fantasized about being forbidden to buy brussel sprouts, but that's how TPE plays out here. It's not about being naked and at his feet or chained in the basement when he's busy. Who would do laundry if I were chained?

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 3:15:01 PM   
Ravensnake


Posts: 146
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		If you share a dream/fantasy already and live together, I don't really see any difference in making it 24/7.
If you weren't already living together, it would have been different, your situation would be changing, but that's not the case.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LADYFREESPIRT

My Dom and I have been together for close to 5 years now. He introduced me to D/s about 3 years ago. I am sub to Him at home, He moved in with me 2 years ago, He is the Man of the house in all ways and I am His girl.

We have been talking, He would like to take the relationship, real time 24/7 My question is can fantasy and real life coexist?





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Dont rattle your sabres at me as an introduction. Be polite and I'll respond in kind.

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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 7:20:09 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If by 24/7 you mean him saying he wants to grill so get out burgers and put away the chicken pot pie fixings, that's common here. As is him saying no brussel sprouts, ever.

Now it's true that I never fantasized about being forbidden to buy brussel sprouts, but that's how TPE plays out here. It's not about being naked and at his feet or chained in the basement when he's busy. Who would do laundry if I were chained?

Isn't the basement usually where one keeps the washer and dryer?

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Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 7:26:08 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Alas yes. These days I dream of a ranch, all one level and w/d in the kitchen!

However if I were stuck in the basement, I couldn't go up and strip the sheets, remake the bed, make dinner etc. On second thought, that doesn't sound too bad.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 7/5/2013 7:30:36 PM >

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/5/2013 11:05:07 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		Of course fantasy and real life coexist. For some, fantasy becomes reality. I don't see this way of life was a fantasy vs reality debate but rather just reality. That's how this is to me.

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Charley aka Sub Guy

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Most embarassing thing you used to believe? - 7/6/2013 6:44:01 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oops

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RE: Most embarassing thing you used to believe? - 7/6/2013 10:38:49 AM   
njlauren


Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		I think I understand what the OP meant about fantasy, I think they mean that a D/s, M/s in some ways are fantasy, because they are not 'real' as in the sense of legally binding and so forth, a s in an M/s is a very real thing, but in the sense of law obviously they are not.

I think the term fantasy is problematic, because D/s, M/s relationships are very real, as real as any other, as are any BD/SM relationships since they have the word relationship in them:). My take on fantasy is this inner life that is very different from what people expect of 'normal' relationships, the power dynamic, the play, whatever that aren't there for most people. I think an s thinks very differently of their relationship and their other (M, D, whatever) then people in typical relationships do, while there very well could be the love and desire and such vanilla couples or non kink poly couples probably have, speaking from my own perspective it is different, because there is that subtext of being controlled/owned and the duty I as an s had to My Lady.......rather than fantasy, I would call it different dynamic.


Having this inner relationship as an otherwise seemingly normal appearing married couple kind of was a trip because of the combination, and watching people react to us as things played out. I go into a restaurant, and I open the door, when talking to people I made it very important My Lady was kind of in charge of the conversation, or leading it, from our end. Get to the table, pull out her chair, seat her, help her get settled. She needed to go to the ladies room, I pulled the chair out, helped her out, and stood until she came back (where I could, hard in crowded restaurants, )and then helped her back into her seat..and a whole lot of other things we did. What kind of made it a mindfuck was hearing from others how romantic it was, how considerately I treated her, how old fashioned (!), yet at the same time i had the charge of knowing we were living out our 'fantasy' relationship in front of them and it was being taken a different way, it was kind of neat.

Obviously, there is fantasy that cannot happen due to real life. I would love to be My Lady's tattooed and pierced slut slave, but given our lifestyle, situation and her desires, isn't going to happen, so that is fantasy, and if she allows that in role play, that is what it is , fantasy.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/7/2013 2:37:27 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LADYFREESPIRT

My Dom and I have been together for close to 5 years now. He introduced me to D/s about 3 years ago. I am sub to Him at home, He moved in with me 2 years ago, He is the Man of the house in all ways and I am His girl.

We have been talking, He would like to take the relationship, real time 24/7 My question is can fantasy and real life coexist?

Yes!

CP

(in reply to LADYFREESPIRT)
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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/9/2013 3:28:50 PM   
jola37


Posts: 433
Joined: 7/8/2013
Status: offline 		For me, I've recently had the chance to fulfill some very long held fantasies. In other words, bringing the fantasies into reality. Like a few folk have said here, I suppose it is dependent upon the fantasies but in general, I'd say it's healthier to keep fantasy and reality separated as fantasy can (I speak for myself anyway) cloud judgement in reality. And reality is where the important decisions are made.

But the actual original question here of "can fantasy and real life coexist?", is yes, the answer is there in the question :-) They coexist !

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Can fantasy and real life coexist - 7/10/2013 12:04:07 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		24/7 what?

Don't tell me, I don't want to know. It's just that the OP seems to have forgotten to ask.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

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