Trouble meet sub/slaves

Trouble meet sub/slaves (Full Version)

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AngelsCry -> Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/6/2013 5:14:38 PM)
I have been on and off this site for 8 years my question is why do so many sub/slaves that seek a Dom/me not take the time to get to know a Dom/me when they show a interest in seeing if there's a connection. I seem to find most of the sub/slaves here to be quiet shallow

lizi -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/6/2013 5:36:10 PM)
There could be many reasons why someone isn't interested in you, just because a person is here seeking doesn't mean you fit the bill for them. You could be outside their preferences for location, age, looks, etc, so they don't wish to engage in getting to know you when it'll be a fruitless endeavor on their end. What is it that you find shallow about subs/slaves here? That they have preferences? Something else?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/6/2013 5:36:24 PM)
You seem quite shallow yourself, considering you insist on people having a picture up on a kink site (which they may not be able to do due to work discretion and so on), before you're even willing to talk to them. On top of that your profile has spelling mistakes in them, and basically gives people no relevant information about you whatsoever. It doesn't list any personal details of relevance, nor anything but a very generic description of yourself and what you're into. Women on this site, especially the ones with attractive pictures of themselves on their profiles, get mailed several times per hour when they're online. It's impossible for us to get to know each and ever single person that mails us, because doing so would mean taking on several hours a day just answering emails, and chatting with random strangers online. Therefore I -and it seems other women as well- tend to be fairly picky about the type of person we choose to invest time in. If you get 20 emails an hour, and 19 of them are from a generic non-descript profile, with a generic non-descript email, while one of them is from a guy with a detailed profile, and a detailed, attractive, funny, or otherwise engaging opening email, you're going to bias your time towards that one guy, and not bother wasting it on the 19 other emails (which most likely will result in an investment of time and effort getting to know the guy, only to find out that you're not compatible). If you want to beat the odds, you need to invest more time in giving the women you contact a reason to want to spend time getting to know you. Otherwise what ends up happening is that you're just another meaningless, uninteresting face in the hordes of emails they've got hitting their inbox.

angelikaJ -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/6/2013 6:02:08 PM)
The large red font in your profile comes across (to me) as aggressive. That probably is not your intent. The spelling errors and punctuation issues also seem lazy (to me). Attention to detail can be very important. You are not (a) dominate. Dominate is a verb. Dominant is an adjective. When [my] Master found me here, He sent me a cmail in which He asked well written, interesting questions about things He read in my profile. And that is all it took. We have been together for over 4 years. Have you tried getting out into your local community? Perhaps finding a TNG munch or gathering?

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/6/2013 7:11:40 PM)
~FRing it~ Speaking from personal experience, it takes what seems like a lot of time to find my own success story. I've belonged to this site under an individual for 6 years before I found the one Im currently with. And I never even knew I was looking for this when we found each other. Trust me, it takes time and patience...but it can happen. The others have asked good questions. What makes the people shallow in your opinion? Why require a publicly posted picture? In my honest opinion, your profile really doesn't give me much in the way of info about you that might pique my interest. Well, give if I was your target audience anyway.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/6/2013 10:19:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ The large red font in your profile comes across (to me) as aggressive. That probably is not your intent. The spelling errors and punctuation issues also seem lazy (to me). Attention to detail can be very important. You are not (a) dominate. Dominate is a verb. Dominant is an adjective. When [my] Master found me here, He sent me a cmail in which He asked well written, interesting questions about things He read in my profile. And that is all it took. We have been together for over 4 years. Have you tried getting out into your local community? Perhaps finding a TNG munch or gathering? What she said. ^^^^ ALL of it. Thanks for saving me the keystrokes angelikaJ. OP, I don't understand what you think is so shallow about the subs/slaves on here. They have search criteria also, just like you and I do. If you don't meet that criteria, they move along and find someone who does before taking the time to get to know him/her. Add to that the fact that your profile says virtually nothing at all about yourself besides listing your interests. If I were a sub, I would find nothing in your profile that would turn my head and cause me to take a second look. NBMG

myotherself -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 12:09:24 AM)
Oddly enough, when I was looking for a dom I found quite a few of them to be quite shallow too. By shallow I mean they saw that I was female, single and submissive. For most, that was enough to know that I was perfect for them. Unfortunately I have preferences and standards. I had listed what I was looking for, and although I was a little flexible, I was not going to date someone who wasn't at least an 80% fit to my preferences. And there was no way in hell I was going to date someone who did the 'me dominant, you slave!' bollocks on their profile, to the exclusion of everything else. I wanted to date a man, not a cartoon dominant whose life revolved around his kink and his dick. Thankfully my decision to remain true to my wants and needs led me to the man I'm with today. So, OP, if you are finding women 'shallow', it might be an idea to look inwards and see what it is that makes you unsuitable to the women you contact.

lilcracker -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 2:54:07 AM)
In the very beginning when my partner showed interest in me, I boldly shot him down. But he was kept at it...he always spoke kindly to me whenever we would meet outside...the thing that caught my interest was one day I was returning from one of those long days at work and he sincerely asked me how my day at work went and seemed like he really wanted to know. When he finally asked me out (over two months after being introduced) I accepted. The point is, he took HIS time in feeling me out getting to know me before he took the plunge to move forward. He did in no way act like all that he wanted was to get in my pants and as a matter of fact it took some time before that even happened. I have found that on the net most men get to the sex part quite quickly, within a half hour of talking most get to the point, 'what are you into?' or something similar....and sorry I think that is pretty shallow and one of the biggest reasons I decided to stop the internet as a way to look for a partner. Although he is pretty vanilla sexually, he does have that Dominant persona and after 23 years of being in the lifestyle, he is by far the best Dominant partner I have ever met. So what is your approach?

AngelsCry -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 4:51:07 AM)
Well when I contact any one I always use respect ask how there day is but since last night I have meet a sub and we had a long talk. We talked about classical music plays the government how we as humans can better ourselves and we had a instant connection

lizi -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 5:36:01 AM)
I had a questions earlier, what is it that you find shallow about the subs and slaves here?

AngelsCry -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 5:53:27 AM)
Well maybe Im shallow ause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way

smartsub10 -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 5:57:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelsCry Well maybe Im shallow ause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way If you believe brains and hearts means more than looks why do you demand a photograph on a prospective sub's profile?

DarkSteven -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 5:59:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelsCry Well maybe Im shallow ause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way I don't know how to say this gently - I find it very difficult to read your writing. The spelling isn't good, and the punctuation is missing. In what way do you exhibit your brains within your writing? For that matter, where is the heart? Remember, none of us can see the real you, but only what is conveyed in your writing. I found this same phenomenon among jobhunters. They would complain that they were qualified for a position but were not considered. They didn't realize that their qualifications didn't matter if their resume didn't state them.

AngelsCry -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 5:59:43 AM)
Well maybe Im shallow cause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way

AngelsCry -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 6:02:39 AM)
Cause I want to know they are real

lizi -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 6:16:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelsCry Well maybe Im shallow cause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way You do realize though that everyone in the world has preferences right? From what they eat, to what they drive, to who they are attracted to....everyone on this planet has preferences. Why is that shallow? You have them too. You state that you want someone with brains and a heart, I'd say you value conversation and emotions then. So you'd discount the women who didn't have those things....right? You're not really making a lot of sense. You come here complaining about people who don't wish to engage with you, well, that is their right if they don't find that to be something that they want to do. You also stipulate yourself that you want certain things from a partner while saying that they should only want the same things as you do. Think of this too...you're in the Ask a Submissive section of the forums and then you're telling the submissives here that you think most of them are shallow. Is this a good strategy? One more thing. If someone didn't have preferences then they would take anyone who comes along, how would that be special? What would it mean if someone took you on as their relationship interest simply because you contacted them. Why would you want to mean so little to someone? If it's taking you a long time with no results, then I'd stop looking at all the other people on the site as being defective and look at myself as being the one who needs to change what I'm doing. Do you know what I mean?

evesgrden -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 6:26:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelsCry Cause I want to know they are real Are you concerned that you're talking to a software program a la the Matrix? Anyone can post a pic. What do you mean by "real"? You can't know that someone is who they say they are until you meet, and even then it's not a sure thing.

Kana -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 6:27:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelsCry I have been on and off this site for 8 years my question is why do so many sub/slaves that seek a Dom/me not take the time to get to know a Dom/me when they show a interest in seeing if there's a connection. I seem to find most of the sub/slaves here to be quiet shallow I know. It's an epidemic of gargantuan stature. All these hot slave gals write, want to get together, hook up, have wild, vicarious, life altering sex, and then just leave. In one night even. They don't take the time to get to know me. They don't respect me for my mind, my education, that savoir-faire so elegantly cultivated over the decades. No, they just plunder my body, those shallow vaporous wenches. I feel so, well, soiled. Used in body and soul.

DarkSteven -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 6:31:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelsCry Cause I want to know they are real Are you unaware that people can send you a pic of someone other than themselves?

kalikshama -> RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves (7/7/2013 6:41:19 AM)
quote: Well when I contact any one I always use respect ask how there day is I don't find a first contact email that says "How is your day going" respectful; I find it trite and not worth a response. You could have sent it to any female online anywhere. When I was looking, I wanted the first email to show that he had read my profile and was writing to me for more reasons than that I am female and submissive.

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