RE: I've Lost my Optimism...

RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (Full Version)

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DarkSteven -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 6:08:10 AM)
aileen, I've always thought a lot of you. Both in terms of what you are, and also the degree to which you gave 100% of yourself. You're asking the wrong question. You're asking "Will I be able to get healthy again ever, and how?" The right question is "How long will it take me to get back, and to what degree will I heal?" The answer is - I don't know. Nobody does. You're doing the right things - learning to live single again. Getting rid of the things that carry memories. Making new things, new memories. Slowly getting better. But each person is individual. Each one takes different time to heal. And some heal more imperfectly than others. I will say that I envy the lucky bastard who gets you.

Kana -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 6:17:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petitespot And I do realize how pathetic I am. A few years ago I would be rolling my eyes and thinking what an idiot if I read this from someone else. See, you're beating yourself up. That's neither fair, nor accurate. This isn't pathetic. It's grief. It's a demonstration of how deeply your feelings ran, how much of self had been given into and for him. This is the price we sometimes pay for love. It sucks. It's awful. But don't use this as a weapon against you. You're an awesome lady who's been badly fucked over, but, other than committing the major crime of hoping/loving/caring/trusting, you did nothing wrong-let yourself off the hook a bit. You ain't pathetic. You're human, which means we're vulnerable, that we can hurt, love, rise, fail, rise again, transcend. You hurt, and that means you risked and loved. Which makes you a 100% winner in my book-waaaaaaay too many people are to scared to do even that, and that includes more than a few bitter angry souls that kick round this neck o the woods. ETA: quote: I will say that I envy the lucky bastard who gets you. This. One billion times this. It sounds so trite. So cliche. but this case, this gal, OMG is this an accurate statement.

chatterbox24 -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 6:44:36 AM)
IN the midst of a crisis, it is so hard to see any light. We can become so very depressed, that we repeat things in our mind, that keep us in that state. One can feel so exhausted, it is just too much effort to start saying the good things to ourselves. In fact, we want to repeat the things that are making us sad in our mind and hearts because its part of the grieving process, and your just at that point of feeling some true pain, terrible pain. I lived most of my life with no patience, and if something did not come quickly, I gave up and said well that doesn't work!!! It was very stupid. You are not an idiot but someone who had the courage to give completely, totally, and sometimes we pay a price for that, the other person hurts us. Don't let it make you bitter or sad anymore. Be joyful that you are that kind of incredible human being who can give like that!!! Not everyone can is in a position to do that. Having a heart as you have, good things are on your horizon, believe it wholeheartedly, and I promise you it will happen. But remember, it might not happen quickly, and the positive things you say to yourself at first may feel like they are not working, but keep saying them. Start right now. Take the good things people on the forum are saying to you and try to feel it. YOu have some supporters who think you are a beautiful person.

Rule -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 6:49:08 AM)
It all depends on where you lost your Optimism. Was it in a shop, in a shopping centre or in a train? All of such places - and police offices as well - usually have a lost & found department. Simply report there what you have lost and there is a slight chance that they may undo your loss.

petitespot -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 7:36:53 AM)
Thanks for the positive, realistic words. I'm gonna go spend this gorgeous day with my two favorite little girlies.

sexyred1 -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 7:48:17 AM)
I know how you feel. I don't know how long you were with him exactly, but I was with mine on and off for over 10 years. No one can really say anything perfect to help you feel better; I relate to all your feelings. The only thing that helps me is that I am finally moving into a place (somewhat) of being apathetic towards my memories of him. I still get angry, but other serious life things are happening to me and thoughts of him are moved to another place. As everyone says, distractions and doing fun things help. One thing some may disagree with, but I don't think you should even try to date until you feel totally apathetic to him. I did, and I found fault in everyone. So now, I just stopped until whatever happens, happens. If I never meet anyone again, I will still be happier knowing that I am not with someone who hurt me.

Aylee -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:04:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petitespot I've become so jaded this last year and a half. I realized how bad it's become when I see my responses to threads. I was always one of those 100% positive people. I was always happy. How do I get that back? How do I get to the point where I can believe what a man tells me? How do I get to the point where I even want to meet a man? I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being sad. I've tried all of the basics to move on, but I still find myself stuck in my own personal hell. I'm moving in a few months so hopefully that will help.... a new place with no ties to old memories. I'm just tired of the person I've become. I don't like her at all. This I can help with. You need a new perspective. You already have a goal. Become positive again. Now. . . we need to set you some short term goals. Today, you need to move some furniture. A chair across the room. A new angle for your couch. Move your pictures. Whatever. Make your living space look different. Tomorrow's goal. . . smile and wave at people that you pass. Tuesday's goal. . . take a walk and look around you. You can still smile and wave at those you go past. Wednesday: Scrub your bathroom. Thursday: Go through your junk/linen/whatever you call it cupboard/space and throw out things you no longer need or use. Friday: Go to the grocery store and pick out a food you have not tried before. Saturday: Go buy yourself a flower. These are small goals, and some are a bit silly. But every accomplishment will make you feel better and more positive. It is a long road, but celebrating the small steps is what we all need to remember to do.

Rawni -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:05:57 AM)
Off topic I know, but sexy... have you seen your profile lately? You may need to go take a look.

sexyred1 -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:09:15 AM)
Rawni, what do you mean? As a matter of fact, for some reason today, I cannot log into the other side. I can obviously log in here, but when I try to log into they ask for my password and it says it is incorrect. I keep sending forgot password but am receiving no answer. I did not change anything about my profile so not sure what is going on. I cannot even go to support because it won't let me log in. Can you do me a favor and ask VAA or someone what is going on? I was fine to log in yesterday and as I said, I have not changed anything.

Rawni -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:10:20 AM)
Darlin, you have been hacked.

sexyred1 -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:10:57 AM)
Ok, so what do I do about this? Like I said, if I cannot log in how can I speak to admin?

Rule -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:11:39 AM)
Her account appears to have been hacked...

sexyred1 -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:12:18 AM)
Guys, I am freaking out here, what do I do?

DaddySatyr -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:14:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Guys, I am freaking out here, what do I do? I sent two messages for you. Make a new, "temporary" account and look at this one and see if you can figure out who it might be

sexyred1 -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:14:48 AM)
Thanks, DS.

VideoAdminChi -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:21:34 AM)
Your password has been changed and the new one sent to you via the email you used to create the account.

sexyred1 -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:25:34 AM)
VideoAdminChi, no, I have not received any email with a new password and I created a temp account to view the one that was hacked. How can we fix this?

thishereboi -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:28:40 AM)
Is it possible that whoever hacked her account has also changed the email in the profile? If that has happened anything you send her is really going to the hacker.

VideoAdminChi -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:29:33 AM)
We have a fix that I can't discuss here - please CMail me from your new account.

sexyred1 -> RE: I've Lost my Optimism... (7/7/2013 8:30:33 AM)
Yes, I don't understand the hacking situation but I have not received any emails for the past hour and a half from Support on how to delete the hacked profile. I created a new temporary one with a new email and wrote VideoAdminChi asking for help on that one. Someone help, this is really disgusting that some disgruntled maniac would do such a thing.

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