quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

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ORIGINAL: ARIES83

I didn't catch that thread but just to weigh in... I find the idea of being able to control someone who is a drug addict laughable... Unless you control them with drugs... But trying to get them off the drugs... Errr can someone link me that thread actually! I am feeling the need to issue some reality checks.

I didn't say that one can control a drug addict. I asked how she had the opportunity to become a drug addict while being an owned slave, and why the first time he noticed a problem he didn't take steps to prevent it from escalating (like therapy or something) to which the answer may very well be that he wasn't able to due to her behavior, which certainly isn't on him, or in any way his fault.

People don't become drug addicts over night. And when you are in a TPE relationship and notice a problem, there are a lot of steps you can take to ensure it doesn't gets out of hand. Ordering them to check into rehab and getting them therapeutic comes to mind for instance.
If you're not in a TPE relationship, or you're unwilling to put in that amount of work because they don't mean that much to you, that obviously changes things, and if a somebody starts using drugs behind your back it may very well be an indication that you're not in a TPE relationship, or that the relationship really didn't matter much to either of them.

I personally don't agree with the idea that there is nothing a partner/owner/spouse can do to prevent somebody from becoming a drug addict if they had never used the drug before they met you. That's not to say that failing to prevent it is the partner/owner/spouse's fault, if the other person doesn't want help, you're fucked, no matter what kind of relationship structure you're in. But considering that there are things you can do, I was curious about which of those things he did, and how it panned out, especially because in a TPE or D/s relationship, as the top you have more options to work with than if you're on an equal footing.

If she's a lying, cheating, stealing bitch, obviously nothing you can do about it, D/s relationship or not, but if that's the case drugs where the least of his problem.

I wasn't trying to judge, just curious as to the history behind what happened.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Between the two of you, this could be an awesome topic.

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ORIGINAL: ARIES83
Thanks LP I'll take that as a compliment, I'm not really sure what the topic is, I haven't even seen the thread you gals are referring to.
I tend to think 'drug addict' trumps 'dynamic' same as ishtar, the only thing is really how did the train go off the tracks? The Driver? Could be but he could have been driving a fucked up train with heaps of hidden issues... Who knows.

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ORIGINAL: SailingBum

What I want to know how are you "born" a dom or anything else for that matter?

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Well, when I was born, the doctor didn't spank me. He offered me one of the nurses for me to spank. At that point, I knew I was a true Dom. After that, I spent the next several months in a lactation relationship.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

What I want to know how are you "born" a dom or anything else for that matter?

Well, when I was born, the doctor didn't spank me. He offered me one of the nurses for me to spank. At that point, I knew I was a true Dom. After that, I spent the next several months in a lactation relationship.

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ORIGINAL: wckdmnd

and because you've never heard of it. it can't possibly exist can it. this is becoming tiresome

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ORIGINAL: wckdmnd

Using the old adage a submissive is born a slave is made. a dominant is born a Master is made. Why does it seem to be so much easier for most to accept someone who claims themselves to be slave than those that claim themselves to be Master?

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ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: wckdmnd

and because you've never heard of it. it can't possibly exist can it. this is becoming tiresome

What got your panties in a bunch??? I was not saying it was or was NOT a adage I pointed out that after more years than I care to count being active in the BDSM community I've never heard it said.

So knock that chip off your shoulder and stop being so defensive.

BadOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: wckdmnd

Using the old adage a submissive is born a slave is made. a dominant is born a Master is made. Why does it seem to be so much easier for most to accept someone who claims themselves to be slave than those that claim themselves to be Master?

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ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

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ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: wckdmnd

and because you've never heard of it. it can't possibly exist can it. this is becoming tiresome

What got your panties in a bunch??? I was not saying it was or was NOT a adage I pointed out that after more years than I care to count being active in the BDSM community I've never heard it said.

So knock that chip off your shoulder and stop being so defensive.

BadOne

I'm thinking that all us not tripping over ourselves in a rush to agree might have started the journey of the undies into the Crack of Ass. The fact that a number of us who have been in BDSM for a bit haven't heard of this particular gem caused the twisting.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Back to the drug addiction, one of the largest segments of drug addicts are those addicted to prescription meds. People in chronic pain can easily find themselves addicted to substances provided by licensed medical professionals. If this was the case, then of course he wouldn't have seen it coming. He would have assumed that as she was seeing her doctor regularly, everything was okay.

I'm highly knowledgeable but in this kind of circumstance, I'd be blindsided also.