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having doubts - 7/11/2013 4:24:09 PM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

i have been collard to my master for over 8 months and have started to notice that he seems little distance anymore, wont talk to me really like he used to, but it all started when we had a another guy over and he played with him for a while and told me to stay and which i did, but after that i started hearing the other guy saying kneil kneil, and i feel that he submitted to him and after that hes been completely different, cant really talk to ihm anymore and need some advice of what to do, really care for my master but starting to reconsider on being his slave

Post #: 1

RE: having doubts - 7/11/2013 5:25:51 PM

Wantstocontrolu

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline

Considering your age, you obviously appear to know who and what you are, My "guess" is that your "Dom" just learned he is a switch.

You need to have a good sit down talk at a local neutral place "coffee shop" and discuss it person-person.

_____________________________

wantstocontrolu

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 2

RE: having doubts - 7/11/2013 5:44:10 PM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

have tried and he wont even aknowledge that im there and wont even talk to me at all

(in reply to Wantstocontrolu)

Post #: 3

RE: having doubts - 7/11/2013 6:26:00 PM

LittleGirlHeart

Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline

So then in my eyes you have two choices, put up with it, or walk away.

_____________________________

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 4

RE: having doubts - 7/11/2013 7:04:52 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wantstocontrolu

Considering your age, you obviously appear to know who and what you are, My "guess" is that your "Dom" just learned he is a switch.

I think it's worse than just "switch". I think a conflicted dom has had real life put a mirror to him.

If it was just a switch realisation, he wouldn't be so uncomfortable with his current slave - though he'd still have some explaining to do. And then this "other guy" is, well..., a *guy*!

OP, I think you've been lied to and now his relative distance means you're getting lied to by omission. Time to consider leaving before you get dumped - you get to keep your self-esteem that way.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Wantstocontrolu)

Post #: 5

RE: having doubts - 7/11/2013 7:11:54 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: notorious72

have tried and he wont even aknowledge that im there and wont even talk to me at all

Screw the other session and whether he's switchy. I'd walk for this alone.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 6

RE: having doubts - 7/11/2013 7:27:27 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

You know, I've seen a lot of stories on the net about how, supposedly, this one session made somebody submit to a scene just because of some kind of razzle dazzle or because, from out of the blue, somebody told them to "kneel" and they did it. To date, that crap has never happened to Me and I'm willing to bet that it hasn't happened to the majority of folks who consider themselves Dominant, rather than switch.

Here's what I'd suggest that you do........

Examine your own feelings about whether you can deal with the idea of your "master" submitting to another or not. Some people can do that and some people can't. You might have to ask yourself some serious questions about if you want this person for the human being that he is, the dynamic that he has with you, or if you are into an illusion that isn't the whole picture.

Start asking yourself if one scene can really make or break your dynamic. Again, for some it does and for some it doesn't. By the way, you may want to consider that poly is not an option for you.

If it's really so frivolous (or life changing, depending on how you look at it) that this has changed EVERYTHING, you might want to challenge yourself to find out how much worth this dynamic really has. For BOTH of you. If one good time really wrecked the eight months, that might be a reality that deserves your attention.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 7

RE: having doubts - 7/11/2013 8:21:06 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

why are you still around if he won't even talk to you at all or even acknowledge you? Does he have you chained to the floor??

I mean really. I would think I was just the invisible woman and disappear. You're already single. You just don't want to admit it.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 8

RE: having doubts - 7/11/2013 11:52:31 PM

MissToYouRedux

Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I think it's worse than just "switch". I think a conflicted dom has had real life put a mirror to him.

If it was just a switch realisation, he wouldn't be so uncomfortable with his current slave - though he'd still have some explaining to do. And then this "other guy" is, well..., a *guy*!

Just pointing out that the OP is a *guy*, too. :)

_____________________________

- Miss Marie

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 9

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 6:26:26 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I think it's worse than just "switch". I think a conflicted dom has had real life put a mirror to him.

If it was just a switch realisation, he wouldn't be so uncomfortable with his current slave - though he'd still have some explaining to do. And then this "other guy" is, well..., a *guy*!

Just pointing out that the OP is a *guy*, too. :)

Oops.

And lol, I unashamedly only compute in hetero.

Thanks for that. I think....

OP, it doesn't change what I said about him "switching", because I still think it's more than just that.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)

Post #: 10

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 6:44:07 AM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

yes im a male slave and love being a slave for my master, just not to sure after these feelings

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 11

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 7:18:44 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

My guess is the topbis feeling guilt and shame and has no idea HOW to talk about all this. If you can do things to show you are okay with what happened, that may get him to loosen up.

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 12

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 12:40:35 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
My guess is the topbis feeling guilt and shame and has no idea HOW to talk about all this. If you can do things to show you are okay with what happened, that may get him to loosen up.

Did you REALLY say,..
may get him (the male Dom) to loosen up..... you owe me a new key-board since this one is covered in Pepsi.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/12/2013 12:45:23 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 13

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 12:43:14 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

I'll just put my sig-block in here for prosperity. Dear OP.... you know to leave him. I hereby grant you permission to do so.
// Lance waves his fairy wand . . . and . . . //
WAIT! That didn't come out right

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 14

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 4:04:14 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: notorious72

i have been collard to my master for over 8 months and have started to notice that he seems little distance anymore, wont talk to me really like he used to, but it all started when we had a another guy over and he played with him for a while and told me to stay and which i did, but after that i started hearing the other guy saying kneil kneil, and i feel that he submitted to him and after that hes been completely different, cant really talk to ihm anymore and need some advice of what to do, really care for my master but starting to reconsider on being his slave

Okay, is the issue that your master played with the other guy, may have switched with the other guy, , or that he has stopped communicating with you?

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
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(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 15

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 4:40:02 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: notorious72

have tried and he wont even aknowledge that im there and wont even talk to me at all

Screw the other session and whether he's switchy. I'd walk for this alone.

Yup.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 16

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 4:58:08 PM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

both really

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 17

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 5:39:11 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

According to your profile, you are owned by 2 masters?

Is one of them the one you are collared to or has your circumstance changed?

And were both of your masters involved in this scene with one topping the other?

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 18

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 6:24:58 PM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

yes im collared to two masters, but the one was topped by the other dom and my other master wasnt home at the time, and since then has been very distant with me and wont talk to me or aknowledge that im there, and has been acting really funny the last two weeks it seems. like someones controlling him

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 19

RE: having doubts - 7/12/2013 6:33:53 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Since you are collared to 2, have you tried discussing it with the other one....?

And from reading associated profiles that were not hard to find, it seems as though at least one of your masters sees himself as a bottom.

Perhaps you weren't aware of that?

Is it a possibility that your master is acting funny around you because you responded in a way that was less than respectful?

http://www.cnvc.org/learn/nvc-foundations

That may be helpful to you.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 20

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