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RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 6:11:20 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
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Talking to an ex. Their an ex for a reason and it won't be on good grounds.

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

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RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 6:46:48 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Joined: 3/15/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

Talking to an ex. Their an ex for a reason and it won't be on good grounds.

Indeed. And exes are notoriously trustworthy and unbiased too.

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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 7:04:44 AM

ShaharThorne

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Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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I would not depend on an exe...what if they were violent (domestic violence) and have a restraining order to stay away from them? I had an exe who did not tell me he was a meth head...

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Post #: 23

RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 7:10:33 AM

DomMeinCT

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I watch what they do, not just what they say. I pay particular attention to how they behave when thwarted.

Couldn't agree more. Telling someone "no" and seeing how they act with that information can be valuable.

Also, why would an ex ever want to provide input into the potential drama involved in a new relationship of two other people.
I'd be no more likely to trust an ex than the person I'm learning about.

< Message edited by DomMeinCT -- 7/30/2013 7:12:05 AM >

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The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
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RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 9:06:42 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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As a rule I do not like doing a back ground check on someone. I think it back fires.

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RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 2:57:15 PM

lovethyself

Posts: 1818
Joined: 11/4/2012
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Oops.

Nm

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Post #: 26

RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 6:12:44 PM

Spiritedsub2

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Joined: 7/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I watch what they do, not just what they say. I pay particular attention to how they behave when thwarted.

Couldn't agree more. Telling someone "no" and seeing how they act with that information can be valuable.

...

I watch what they do more than what they say, but it never occurred to me to pay particular attention to watching their reaction to "no". That will come in useful in the future; thank you!

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RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 7:08:37 PM

pahunkboy

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

Talking to an ex. Their an ex for a reason and it won't be on good grounds.

Indeed. And exes are notoriously trustworthy and unbiased too.

Talking to the ex is a terrile idea.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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Post #: 28

RE: Getting to know someone - 7/30/2013 8:01:45 PM

kdsub

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Joined: 8/16/2007
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I am shallow in partners I guess… not only do I not want to know them I do not care about them past safe sex…Nor do I want to share a life with them… My days of serious relationships are in the past and they were fruitful in the way of two lovely daughters… That is all I wanted or needed.

I am not bitter but I believe many, as they get older, feel the need and desire for deep relationships are not as important…at least among men. Too big a hassle to manage and combine two established households and we also become less tolerant of others and their ways.

‘Now friends I care about but only time will reveal their true personalities…and even they can change.

Butch

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