Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

trouble on the home front, wife??


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> trouble on the home front, wife?? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:13:11 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I could use some imput.

For the past 3ish years I been hanging out at the neighbors for dinner and TV. She is 80, I am 49. She has no kids- I am sort of the son she never had- at the same time I am like a husband. She comes from a generation that the woman serves the man.

Today she went into a laundry list of how things are one sided- then she stopped from telling me her biggest complaint. I let her stop - because I dont want to ruin things.

She wondered if I would cook for her in return- it isnt that I wont as much as her kitchen is her kitchen. Mine is not equiped- as I dont have a stove or full size fridge.

I am looking for little things I can do- so she sees things are more balanced.

I dont know how serious my infractions are- one day she wanted a ride- I would have done so- after the 10 min errand that I had to attend to.

Looking for little things I can do- to make her happy.

PS- we both dont care for fast food- and when I mentioned meals on wheels she got mad.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:22:37 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I would say if what she really wants is to have food made for her, you should make food for her. The best way to help someone is by doing the things they want help with.

If you don't like her kitchen could you do the prep work in your house (marinading, chopping veg etc) and just present her with a casserole dish that she just needs to put in the oven for an hour? I used to do that for my grandparents all the time. No stove needed on your end.

Otherwise, how are you helping her so far? If you're eating at her home regularly I assume you are doing your share of the grocery shopping and washing up etc? Can you offer to do some maintenance? Does she have any paintwork that needs touching up? Yard work?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:26:18 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		What WAS her biggest complaint? That might steer people's advice in a different direction.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:28:45 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

What WAS her biggest complaint? That might steer people's advice in a different direction.



It sounds like my in-ability to focus is some of the problem. I am ADHD.

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:30:37 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

I would say if what she really wants is to have food made for her, you should make food for her. The best way to help someone is by doing the things they want help with.

If you don't like her kitchen could you do the prep work in your house (marinading, chopping veg etc) and just present her with a casserole dish that she just needs to put in the oven for an hour? I used to do that for my grandparents all the time. No stove needed on your end.

Otherwise, how are you helping her so far? If you're eating at her home regularly I assume you are doing your share of the grocery shopping and washing up etc? Can you offer to do some maintenance? Does she have any paintwork that needs touching up? Yard work?



I like this idea- of prepping the food here. Her kitchen is here kitchen- a simple thing like retrieving a glass is a big deal

one idea I have- is a buddy jsut moved onto the block- he LOVES to cook, and has endless energy. He has an adopted son. If personalities bond- I think we could trade off on dinners.

Of course I buy groceries. She has a deep freezer- and my job is to make sure there is meaet in it.

< Message edited by pahunkboy -- 8/3/2013 8:32:52 AM >

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:32:54 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Ah. Well there might not be much you can do about that then. I hope this doesn't sound mean, but do you think that since she's getting older she's finding your visits more tiring and is trying to hint that you should come over less? I know a lot of older people find visitors quite exhausting and aren't up for long visits.

Edit: just saw your post about the deep freezer. You could even prep a big batch of food, divide it up and put it in her deep-freeze all ready to go, so she just has to let it defrost overnight then pop it in the oven. Big help for her, plus you don't need to spend much time in her kitchen.

< Message edited by AthenaSurrenders -- 8/3/2013 8:35:29 AM >

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:35:50 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Ah. Well there might not be much you can do about that then. I hope this doesn't sound mean, but do you think that since she's getting older she's finding your visits more tiring and is trying to hint that you should come over less? I know a lot of older people find visitors quite exhausting and aren't up for long visits.



Yes- one idea I had was to cut it down to 5 days a week. It also does not need to be cooked food- cold chicken goes fine on a summer day with patato salad.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:38:04 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Ath- how many days ahead would you make food up for the freezer?

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:44:32 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		As long as you're freezing it straight away, you could make food for a month in advance if you wanted to.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:45:27 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

As long as you're freezing it straight away, you could make food for a month in advance if you wanted to.



wouldnt we need preservatives to put in it?

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:48:38 AM   
OvrThRainbow


Posts: 56
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline
quote:

Ah. Well there might not be much you can do about that then. I hope this doesn't sound mean, but do you think that since she's getting older she's finding your visits more tiring and is trying to hint that you should come over less? I know a lot of older people find visitors quite exhausting and aren't up for long visits.


My feeling is that she does enjoy having him come over for a visit but is finding cooking every night tiring. The idea of making meals and freezing them is spot on.
Pahunkboy, to answer your question about how far in advance you could make the meals, try to get them into the freezer within a day after preparing, keeping it in the fridge until you can get to the freezer.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:54:02 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

As long as you're freezing it straight away, you could make food for a month in advance if you wanted to.



wouldnt we need preservatives to put in it?


No you don't need preservatives, that's what the freezer does.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:55:43 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy
wouldnt we need preservatives to put in it?


Most decent freeezers these days will keep most food frozen for up to 3 months.
No need for any extra preservatives at all.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:55:47 AM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		FR

With chemo sapping my energy, a kind cousin has been making and freezing meals for me. I've eaten some months later to no ill effect.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 8:58:20 AM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

She wondered if I would cook for her in return

Do you know anything about her financial situation? Is it possible that feeding you each night is a strain on her purse?

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 9:01:45 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

FR

With chemo sapping my energy, a kind cousin has been making and freezing meals for me. I've eaten some months later to no ill effect.



the question then becomes how do we better manage the cooking thing.

and the finances are pretty even.

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 9:21:27 AM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		OP, you could get a crock pot and do the actual cooking at your place and save her the trouble of even popping it in the oven. There is a wide variety of meals that can be cooked this way and an easy clean up afterwards.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 10:43:55 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am looking for little things I can do- so she sees things are more balanced.


Roger Roger Roger....

THE DISHES DUMKOPF !

If you do the dishes she will cook for you for a year after she dies !

T^T

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 11:08:21 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

quote:

I am looking for little things I can do- so she sees things are more balanced.


Roger Roger Roger....

THE DISHES DUMKOPF !

If you do the dishes she will cook for you for a year after she dies !

T^T



LMAO! Hey now- she will look over me from beyond. I like to eat. What can I say?

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: trouble on the home front, wife?? - 8/3/2013 12:09:51 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		http://www.imaceliac.com/2012/03/gluten-free-freezer-meals.html
http://homesteadinghomemaker.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/i-had-this-idea-that-it-would-be-nice.html
http://zitzmanfam.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/freezer-meals_23.html?m=1

A lot of these are crock pot recipes but if neither of you have a crock pot, you should be able to cook them all in the oven - just pop them in a lidded casserole dish on a lowish temp for three hours or so it will have a similar effect.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> trouble on the home front, wife?? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109