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RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 8/5/2013 1:50:06 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		FR

Butt plugs are good for making you more comfortable with someone being back there for extended periods. But yeah, nothing beats patience and lots of lube.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 8/6/2013 10:08:53 PM   
PlayfulLibra


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/14/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you for the suggestions guys! I appreciate it! Definitely gonna go with the "more lube" route. I'm sure the more we do it, the better it'll be.

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RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 8/7/2013 1:06:28 AM   
metamorfosis


Posts: 1132
Status: offline 		Seconding the butt plug idea.

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RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 8/7/2013 11:56:06 AM   
katisaprincess


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/8/2013
Status: offline 		So many male subs I've talked to are way into anal.

How can I be sure I'm doing it safely? If I'm not using my fingers, like a toy or something, what sorts of things can I do to make sure I'm not hurting him? I can't feel the toy, so I'm a little nervous I'm gonna be doing some messed up stuff in there.

I know when my girlfriend uses the dildo on me non-anally and I say "ow" (I'm not into pain, so ow actually means stop that), the reaction is to take it out so that ow stops happening. But as you may or may not now, ripping something out of your vagina is just as unpleasant as something being in there at an awkward angle.

I'm really nervous I'd get that urge, too. "Oh, red light? Lemme just YOINK" or something equally as stupid and ruin some poor man forever X_X

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Profile   Post #: 24
Making Anal Easier to Take - 4/30/2014 11:11:57 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Overall, good suggestions, but I have to ask this--did everybody miss the memo on self-stimulation?

Whether it's female or male receiving, the best way to relax and start to enjoy is for the female to rub her clitoris and for the male to stroke himself.

It's not rocket science.
-- Plenty of Lube
-- Rimming* as part of prep helps, as does pre-penetration play (butt plug or digitally)
-- Very gradual, no rushing
-- Frequent pauses & stops in the beginning
-- Receiver sets the pace for readiness while self-stimulating; breathing deeply.
-- Watch out for signs of distress.
-- Afterward, giver washes up thoroughly with soap & water before engaging in any other sexual activity or physical contact.

* Rimmer needs to rinse out mouth with alcohol-based substance before making any oral contact elsewhere.

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RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 4/30/2014 11:22:58 AM   
PapaBearsSub


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/21/2014
Status: offline 		W/we use a product called Elbow Grease and from all the products we have tried, it is far and above the rest in my opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

We use something by KY called 'sensual silk' -- its' pricey but I like it.


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RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 4/30/2014 10:55:19 PM   
dollenburg


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline
Best answer is abstention.

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RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 5/1/2014 2:19:51 AM   
HomelessOldSlave


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/25/2014
Status: offline 		I am old and have had no experience, I have taken the idea of using butt plugs and plenty of lube and I just wanted to thank people for taking the trouble to offer advice. Any other advice for an old anal virgin would be much appreciated.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 5/1/2014 4:07:39 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HomelessOldSlave

I am old and have had no experience, I have taken the idea of using butt plugs and plenty of lube and I just wanted to thank people for taking the trouble to offer advice. Any other advice for an old anal virgin would be much appreciated.

If you want to start using butt plugs for your own enjoyment, by all means go ahead. But just a word of personal advice here (others may have differing views). Don't start going overboard with the anal dilation stuff and large or over-sized plugs.

You don't know what a future Master-Mistress may prefer. Don't view your anal cherry as an undesirable condition because some of us prefer to start off from a virginal to semi-virginal state and proceed on a safe course. Nobody wants damaged goods.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/3/2014 7:19:29 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Overall, good suggestions, but I have to ask this--did everybody miss the memo on self-stimulation?
<snip>


^^^This.

A vibrator on or near your clit makes just about anything feel good. In fact, you may wish to have an orgasm or two before attempting anal. It releases genital tension. Then once he's slowly and carefully in, keep using the vibe. Many people come like banshees this way.

To the partner: once she's come with you inside, she may want you out very soon. Respect this, or you may not be invited back.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/3/2014 8:39:19 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

A vibrator on or near your clit makes just about anything feel good. In fact, you may wish to have an orgasm or two before attempting anal. It releases genital tension. Then once he's slowly and carefully in, keep using the vibe. Many people come like banshees this way.

To the partner: once she's come with you inside, she may want you out very soon. Respect this, or you may not be invited back.

Yes, the ever-important EJECT mode--not to be trifled with.

Note also giver and receiver should try to synchronize themselves in coming simultaneously, which is very doable during this act.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/3/2014 9:06:02 PM   
BouncyBoo


Posts: 68
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline 		Fr:

I have a similar situation as the OP, I think. My prior partners were very easy to take compared to my current, who is probably twice the size as others I've had. We don't try much since I had a bad experience a few years ago with withdraw consent mid-action and a panic attack, so I haven't been able to relax very well to get it to the high level of pleasure.

Any suggestions though for someone who loves anal.... but doesn't like fingers in her anus? No idea why, but it is a major turn off, even though they are a better starting point than a toy. I'll take them, but it diminishes my experience.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/3/2014 9:22:51 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Boo,

An inflatable butt plug might be just what you're looking for. Here's a nice, inexpensive one with free shipping.

http://www.intimategadgets.com/product/intimated-passion-anus-expand-tool-46690

Here is a pretty borosilicate glass plug for $4.99, shipped! I have this, and it's excellent. Recommend heating in warm water before insertion to make it easier for muscles to relax:

http://www.intimategadgets.com/product/high-borosilicate-crystal-glass-body-massager-blue-+-yellow-43300

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 5/3/2014 9:34:11 PM >

(in reply to BouncyBoo)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/4/2014 12:40:36 AM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline 		By all means, laugh at this question, but I just bought a new glass, 9" x 13" pan. The instructions warn against adding water during cooking because the glass will shatter if the temperature changes too quickly.

Is that any kind of an issue with glass butt plugs... when you heat them?

< Message edited by BecomingV -- 5/4/2014 12:41:13 AM >

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(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 5/4/2014 6:24:04 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Galacia

It's like a Doctor's appointment for a shot - the harder and faster he shoves, the quicker the whole thing is over.


Awesome. You first. That's right baby, hands and knees and spread 'em. I'll shove this thing in as fast and hard as I can, no problem.

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RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/4/2014 11:09:30 AM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

By all means, laugh at this question, but I just bought a new glass, 9" x 13" pan. The instructions warn against adding water during cooking because the glass will shatter if the temperature changes too quickly.

Is that any kind of an issue with glass butt plugs... when you heat them?


I don't think so, since the glass item wouldn't be heated much beyond body temperature.

(in reply to BecomingV)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/7/2014 12:48:06 AM   
vestigialwilly


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/13/2008
Status: offline 		In my time I have taken (and latterly enjoyed) strap-ons of various sizes as well as dildos, vibrators and butt plugs. Virtually everyone will tell you to use lots of lube and that's absolutely true but there is one thing I never see mentioned that is important.
That is angle of entry. The first couple of times a mistress tried to enter me with a strap-on - not one of large girth and in fact slimmer than butt plugs she had used with me - it hurt and did not seem to go in more than a couple of inches. Eventually we gave up and did other things.
Sometime later with a different mistress she suggested doing me with the strap-on and from previous experiences was reluctant but being open I let her try. I was in the same position as had been tried before - kneeling arse presented for her - and and first the feelings were familiar but then I just felt myself open and she was inside. And from looking in the mirror I could see she was deep inside.
I realised that the difference was not related to lube or shape (if anything her strap-on was larger) but on angle. It's subtle but if you get it wrong instead of pushing in you are trying to push against the rectum wall which will result in nothing but pain not nothing more. If you are having similar problems, I suggest trying different positions but above all be aware of the angle. Inside we are all different so some experimentation may be needed too.
Good luck!

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/7/2014 12:57:43 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		So much great advice you guys!

I second the advice about positions. It hurts like a mofo if I'm on my back, even with pillows under me, it hurts like crazy. For a really stupid long time this is all we did because it was said this was easier on the s type by someone. Eventually I suggested we try it doggy style and it made a world of difference.
I also second the stimulation. I do way better if we've had vaginal sex before hand, or if he is stimulating my clit, I relax way faster. I actually even would say I prefer to be "DP'd" (we use a dildo, yet to do it with two partners) over just anal sex. Its it just way better on my end.

(in reply to vestigialwilly)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take.. - 5/7/2014 1:09:58 PM   
FightingChains


Posts: 293
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

Making Anal Easier to Take..


Now why in the world would I want to do that?


Haha I'm with Kana. Either fucking or being fucked... Why would I want to make this easier? Bring on the pain!

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Making Anal Easier to Take - 5/7/2014 2:13:28 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I second the advice about positions. It hurts like a mofo if I'm on my back, even with pillows under me, it hurts like crazy. For a really stupid long time this is all we did because it was said this was easier on the s type by someone. Eventually I suggested we try it doggy style and it made a world of difference....


Wherever did you hear this? Some positions just aren't conducive to this act until you have gotten accustomed to it. Which takes time.
The side-by-side spooning position that Hillwilliam mentions is more intimate and cuddly.
With some people, nothing but doggie-style works for them. This is what I would recommend for both females and males.
If you (not you shifty!) are on your back, it's best to have vaginal penetration first.
Later on, you can even do this while sitting cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl, not as comfortable. (All right, guys, let's hear the sit-on-it-and-rotate jokes. )

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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Profile   Post #: 40
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