Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: What are people looking for?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: What are people looking for? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/4/2013 12:37:50 PM   
CHF73


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverKit

Oh dear. Ok, I attend a large amount of events around Denver, I am an active partisan at a couple of Denver events. A large majority of people who go to events are in relationships. That was my point. If ya'll are going to take the comment in part with out the full context, then you can make my comment say what every you want. Which has now been done.

I was expressing my confusion with Dom's who only want to work with newbies, and expressing my own experience with newbies. I love my girl to death, I have no issue with her, I'm just surprised with the desire for the newbies over others. And My question was:
Is that the trend of this site, or is it just my luck with how I'm chatting with people?


What exaclty has been taken out of context when you said, and I'm quoting, "OMG have you seen the people that go to that stuff? Lol you wouldn't be asking if you have."?

Now I can understand not all the jokes come out good...let's just say this came out in an horrible way. So i don't see anything strange if some people felt offended by what you said. Instead of accusing others to take what you said out of contest, it would have been better to just say "ok, it was supposed to be a funny joke but it came out bad. Sorry".

(in reply to SilverKit)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/4/2013 1:08:45 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
The issue is that when someone is new and inexperienced, they need to focus on the even newer and more inexperienced so that their inexperience doesn't stand out like a sore thumb.

Another spin on that and one I favor more. When people are new and inexperienced they suck up internet memes as if they were gospel truth. And I gotta tell you in my internet travels the phrase "training a sub" seems synonymous with "dating a sub". It's just what one does with a sub LOL.

For me, given that the only protocol I have is "obey", if I had to train a sub at all then she's not the sub for me.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 8/4/2013 1:09:28 PM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/4/2013 1:47:00 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I don't know. Obeying him didn't mean I automatically knew how he liked his tea. I had to be taught that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/4/2013 2:08:00 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Inexperienced doesn't have to mean stupid. If the op's sub had bothered to do her due diligence prior to seeking a relationship, she could well have been more knowledgeable than opie.

The Man said he was happy I was inexperienced because he had come off a string of first dates who said nothing but "Gee, that's not how my ex did it". He got tired of that. He wanted someone who didn't expect him to be a mix of their ex and some guy in porn.





My first dom had been doing evil and kinky things since he was a teenager. I was so new that safe words and limits had to be explained to me . Yep, I was one of the dread newbies. And gosh, he had to tell me once (ONCE!) what he was talking about. How tedious for him.

My second hadn't ever been in a kink relationship. He had dreamed of it for years but wasn't in a position to pursue it. He didn't/doesn't know everything - and neither do I . But, man , do we have fun! And we are planning on spending the rest of our life pursuing knowledge and fun.

Neither of my fellas was or is better than the other. Each of them learned to do things as the knowledge deficit became evident. If one wanted to do something , and didn't know how, they researched it.

So I've been the newbie and my dom has been the newbie. One isn't better or worse than the other, and the level of experience isn't what attracted me to each of the men. It was their personality, their intelligence, their general knowledge of life, and their fun. Learning how to do different things is easy enough, being a person I want to be with has to already be in place.


and yes, when I met and developed a relationship with my second dom, I had to rather conscientiously not compare him to my first. It wasn't fair to him, since they weren't alike in any other way. However, the longer we were together the easier it was to not compare them.

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 8/4/2013 2:10:23 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/4/2013 5:48:37 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverKit

It's so strange to me that anyone would want newbies. I know that sounds awful, but my sub is about 2 months old in lifestyle, and 20 years old in RL, and she drives me freeking nuts. I love her little face, but at the same time, I doubt I'll be taking on a baby again any time soon. It's too much work. You first get the question, whats a safe word? Why do I need a safe word. And the current one we are on, is how do I use a safe word. Let a lone when.

I feel sorry for people who deal with newbies all the time, personally I feel like dealing with a newbie is like unwrapping a chocolate bar, you get to see and smell it, but you don't get to eat it quite yet.

This must be terrible for you as a wise old experienced sage at 25
luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to SilverKit)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/4/2013 5:50:16 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Inexperienced doesn't have to mean stupid. If the op's sub had bothered to do her due diligence prior to seeking a relationship, she could well have been more knowledgeable than opie.

The Man said he was happy I was inexperienced because he had come off a string of first dates who said nothing but "Gee, that's not how my ex did it". He got tired of that. He wanted someone who didn't expect him to be a mix of their ex and some guy in porn.

The op should seek out a TNG group where she won't have to look at older folks who offend her tender sensibilities.

and DITTO!!!!

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/5/2013 9:01:52 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I don't know. Obeying him didn't mean I automatically knew how he liked his tea. I had to be taught that.

*nods* I know. It just seems odd to use the word "training" for that and I don't really think that's what people mean. But yeah, if it floats your boat and you squint hard enough we could call...

"I don't like chinese food"

training.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/5/2013 6:54:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		huh..I guess I trained Master not to ever feed me scallops unless he wants to see me sick for days.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/11/2013 12:59:18 PM   
harddaddy48


Posts: 21
Joined: 8/8/2009
Status: offline 		It is not important to me that my new partner is experienced or not. But it always seems like she is brand new and a beginner... because when we meet, it is usually as strangers. Her experiences with another man do not seem to be as important to me as the future experiences will be. I never go "looking" for someone new to the lifestyle but it does seem that 99% of women looking are new to it all. I have had experienced partners before. It's all good to me.

(in reply to SilverKit)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/12/2013 10:15:59 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I was expressing my confusion with Dom's who only want to work with newbies, and expressing my own experience with newbies. I love my girl to death, I have no issue with her, I'm just surprised with the desire for the newbies over others. And My question was:
Is that the trend of this site, or is it just my luck with how I'm chatting with people?


It's the trend of the internet that people are using it to try to get easy sex.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to SilverKit)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/12/2013 10:19:20 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		The two schools of thought would be:

If you are new, then you are a blank canvas, good to work out anything, but hard to get you into the mindset.

If you are an 'old hand' then I would have to listen to, but thats not how my Master did it.........

Some guys will put up with either bit of shit, and some guys will put up with neither bit of shit.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SilverKit)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/12/2013 2:14:02 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

But I don't understand this large majority of Dom's who are looking and offering training to newbies.


That's a good thing. The large majority of Doms who are looking and offering "training" to newbies, look for newbies because nobody with any significant experience will be dazzled by their brilliance or buy into their bullshit.

(in reply to SilverKit)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What are people looking for? - 8/17/2013 11:25:20 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

What Athena said. I'm not looking, as per se, so I can be a bit more objective about what I've observed. A lot of the "Doms" who post here are just that, horny vanilla guys looking a quick and freaky fuck. Then there are the bitter and lonely men who either haven't had a "real" relationship or have exited one because they lack basic social skills. Too many of them have this idea that what they see in the reams of porn they view is the reality, not fantasy. When it's shoved in their faces, they (usually) flee the site or post rants on the boards about not finding anyone suitable.

They want to find a fawning "yes" girl who won't give them any trouble or say no to them and their sometimes impossible fantasies. When they discover that a lot of the submissive/slave women are, in fact, just as demanding and picky as a "normal" woman (which they are, just kinkier), they disappear, only to be heard bitching about fakes. Then, there are the "Twoo Doms", who have this idea that what most folks see only as a bedroom game is a daily-daily event that requires micro-management on a totalitarian scale. Again, they tend to discover that most women won't bother to play their games, and once again we get another "Fakes and Posers" thread.


Thank you very much for this. I think you sum things up very nicely. Very refreshing to hear this view from a male dom.

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 33
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: What are people looking for? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078