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Wow... - 8/6/2013 11:01:30 AM   
caged221


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/6/2013
Status: offline 		I never do things like this online, I just thought I'd share my experience with collarme.

I was completely honest, by the way. Which is probably rare considering... but i have nothing to hide. Within 30 minutes I was talking to three scammers who I'm fairly positive were actually Asian men. Am I crazy? From my experiences a BDSM community is impossible to get into, completely illusory. It's extraordinarily disappointing
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Wow... - 8/6/2013 11:06:00 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Various folk will be along shortly to explain "munch." Me? I've gotta RUN!

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to caged221)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Wow... - 8/6/2013 11:15:32 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caged221
From my experiences a BDSM community is impossible to get into, completely illusory. It's extraordinarily disappointing


I met Master at a social. We were friends for three years. We've been together 13 years, married for twelve and have a large group of friends that are within the BDSM D/s community.

Yup, you're correct. It's clearly impossible, illusory and disappointing.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to caged221)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Wow... - 8/6/2013 11:19:54 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		You don't have any 'experience' by the looks of it...which is not a bad thing, by the way

First of all, as soon as you join the site you come up on the 'new user' scroll, which makes you kinda shark-bait for scammers and idiots for about the first month. Then it dies down.

In the meantime, I'm going to elaborate on Lance's cryptic 'munch' comment. A munch is a vanilla gathering of kinksters, usually held in a bar or restaurant (hence the 'munching'). It's free to go - you just pay for what you eat or drink. There's usually no protocol - no-one will try to whip your ass or order you to kiss their boots! It's just people meeting on an equal footing who happen to enjoy kink.

My advice would be to get an account on fetlife, search for 'Maryland' and see how many online groups there are in your area. I would expect at least one group to have details of your local munch. Just introduce yourself in one (or more) of those groups, say you're looking for a munch and some helpful soul will point you in the right direction. You can message the organiser direct and ask to be met at the door, if you're nervous (called a 'meet and greet').

As you're still a young'un, you might prefer a TNG group (The Next Generation - under 35s usually) where you might meet people more your own age. Again, ask in a 'Maryland' group.

Finally, don't give up on cm! It's a great way to find out stuff, although not the best way to find a partner. Hang around, get to know people and learn lots of really cool things.


_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to caged221)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Wow... - 8/6/2013 1:17:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Fill out your profile.

Right now it's completely empty.

If you were looking for a friend and lover, wouldn't you want to know in advance if random person A was in the slightest compatible? The way we do that is by reading profiles.

An empty profile is the equivalent of going to a party. standing in the corner all night turned away from everyone, and then going home complaining that no one talked to you.

And yes, wait a month so you don't show up on the new members list. And get thee to a munch.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Wow... - 8/6/2013 1:39:19 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		within 30 mins you were already chatting to some random guys? What is the rush? As a new person expect to get a lot of attention from predators. And honesty? You don't play poker do you? Keeping things close to the vest is best while you are evaluating your opponent.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to caged221)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Wow... - 8/6/2013 4:01:59 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Turn a liability into an asset. Accept that you're new and inexperienced and you will be scambait for a while. Have some fun with them during that time. You'll learn what their lingo is, have a few laughs at spelling and geography errors, and most important, by wasting their time, your profile will be purposely ignored by them, letting you focus on what you came here for. They keep lists too, and whenever they get someone who causes them grief, they avoid that person. Time is money, especially when you're paying for bandwidth by the hour at Honest Mugabe's Internet Cafe.

For some fun tips, use this site, especially if they want cam proof. Yeah, it was originally intended for advance-fee fraud, but a scam's a scam. Be careful, keep your AV/AM current, and keep logs so you can refer back to them when one of the more persistent ones show up. I managed to scare them off from my profile in about a week.

As for finding a "real" BDSM community. They're all around you, all you need to do is learn where to look, and you've already got some good advice. Find a munch, find scene-friendly clubs. Fet is better than CM for local events. Use it.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to caged221)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Wow... - 8/6/2013 5:04:02 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Fill out your profile.



hmm. Well that would be a start. Thanks for saving me a click!!

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Wow... - 8/6/2013 5:12:40 PM   
deathtothepixies


Posts: 683
Joined: 2/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caged221

I never do things like this online, I just thought I'd share my experience with collarme.

I was completely honest, by the way. Which is probably rare considering... but i have nothing to hide. Within 30 minutes I was talking to three scammers who I'm fairly positive were actually Asian men. Am I crazy? From my experiences a BDSM community is impossible to get into, completely illusory. It's extraordinarily disappointing



this is how the wheat is sorted from the chaff, if you are put off by this initial experience then you are just a dilettante. The scammers are easy to spot so ask yourself why you ended up talking to three of them. Have a look around, chill your boots and understand that genuine people will be recognised as such

(in reply to caged221)
Profile   Post #: 9
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