RE: Snap out of it! (Full Version)

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littlewonder -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/7/2013 8:48:23 PM)

Well, I have Master who drags me out of it. I have depression so I take meds for it. Before Master, it was not easy. I just tried to get through the day...work, come home, take care of kid and house and go back to bed. On the weekends I slept and did nothing. Eventually I would pull out of it but it was extremely difficult. It's always very hard for me. Now if I feel myself getting too deep to the point even Master can't pull me out of the dark hole, then I go back to my doctor to have my meds checked and also talk to her about what's going on in my life.

But if it's not depression and it's a down period for you, the blues, then read a good book, go to a funny movie, hang out with friends and laugh, meditate, exercise, get out in the sun, do something you really enjoy and try to find someone you can confide in. Sometimes one just needs to find someone to rant to, to just get it all out there.

Oh and one last thing....go out into the woods and scream as loud as you possibly can.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/7/2013 10:35:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There's also nothing wrong in doing some of the grief work prior to her passing. It will have to be processed eventually, why not start the process now.


Oh yes!! Hospice will counsel you, free. They will even do it over the phone if you can't get away. Hospice centers are also a great place to find support groups and wonderful peripheral stuff like reiki, singing bowl meditations and other healing modalities offered free by volunteers.

Around the holidays, our hospice does a county-wide 'Light Up A Life' where you can honor the lives of those close to you, living or dead. I have a big list of names to be read, including my parents/adopted parents, sister-in-law, and my kitties who have passed. Just hearing those names spoken aloud in that intimate candle-lit venue, surrounded by a sea of people in the same boat, is a very cathartic and comforting experience.



Gauge -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/7/2013 11:30:35 PM)

First order of business, go to your doctor and talk with him about what is going on and how you are feeling. The depression you are feeling may be a situational thing because of all the stress, but if it lasts for a few weeks, it could be more than a reaction to the stress. It is best to rule out physiological causes first.

Snap out of it? Well if it were that easy don't you think you would have done that already? There is no quick cure for depression. If you have never experienced depression before then you need to understand some things about it. There is tons of information about it on the internet. If this isn't something chronic with you then the best way to help yourself out of this funk is to make a plan. You have gotten some decent suggestions already but take them one step at a time because depression can also sap your motivation, energy and ability to concentrate. So make a plan like this:

Today I am going to do this, this and this. If I feel overwhelmed at any time and I don't feel well enough to continue with my plan I will try and push myself a little. If I cannot push myself then I will rest or do something that I enjoy doing and then try again.

Don't vilify yourself if you cannot make it, the important thing is that you are trying and maybe the next time you try you will last a little longer then you did the first time. This is progress and not a defeat.

I have suffered from depression all of my life. Sometimes it is a challenge to get out of bed, other days I pop right up, but I have never given up trying to cope the best way I know how. People have told me to Snap Out Of It. Like I told you, if it was that easy I would have already done it. It has got to be frustrating for you because this is something new, but don't allow it to frustrate you too much, it is very likely that it will go away sooner rather than later. And don't be afraid to take some medication if the doctor gives it to you, it can help even out your mood and get you through this period in your life.

I wish you the best, and I understand. If you need to talk feel free to PM me.



myotherself -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 12:21:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

What do you do when you are feeling irrationally blue and it seems to just linger?





I'm going to echo what a lot of posters have said - get some support in place now.

Two years ago (almost exactly to the day) I was in your position. We'd been told at Easter that my dad wouldn't last much longer, although it was so vague as to be "weeks or maybe a year". My mum, sister and I decided to honour dad's request to not go back to hospital, so we nursed him at home.

This went on for 4 months. That time was emotionally devastating, but we just kept on going for dad. We had each other for support, and we knew it was helping dad. When he died, mum and sister did the 'stiff upper lip' thing and coped. I coped until I went back to work, then fell apart. I was off work for a month, coping with the emotional implosion of my life.

My point is, if I'd got help before I got to that point I'd have been in a better place when the inevitable happened. Looking back now, I wished I'd had some 'outsider' I could unload on and get encouragement to look after me, not just dad.

You are important, and looking after you should be one of your priorities.



Rule -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 12:55:08 AM)

Get a pet. Go for a walk. Go see a movie in the cinema. Get a hair cut or a manicure. Buy a dress.



pahunkboy -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 5:06:38 AM)

Yes. I do ramble. Agreed.


Your post seems a mix of alot of things, find which ones you can control- or the point to which you can- the aspects.

Not being in control can pull a person down, so you have to detail the things in your life that YOU are calling the shots on. You have to own some of this in order to feel better.


For now it sounds like you are powerless- hence the depression.

When my dad was ill- I got to the point that I wished whatever was going to happen would- as it was very draining.

Discover for you a new hobby or interest. Your mind is consumed by problems and you need something fresh to focus on. Once you do- your problems will become easier to navigate.

It is possible to over think things. When I went thru a few years of lawsuits- everything I did was on that. It drained and aged me.

The major thing sounds like upcoming loss of a parent. Tho you also need a roof over head.

As to aging in the job market- I would not worry about that.



kalikshama -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 5:17:04 AM)

quote:

What do you do when you are feeling down and there does not seem to be an outlet?


I force myself to get moving - gardening, walking, swimming, going to the gym, yoga. It's never failed.

Massage is great too.



pahunkboy -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 5:18:41 AM)

http://www.cliving.org/lifestresstestscore.htm

Also the things you mentioned rate high up on this scale. I wish I could do something to make your situation better. Often I find I am better at fixing others problems then my own.


HUGS!

You are human. Sometimes change has some good outcomes to it..... sometimes change is good.



pahunkboy -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 5:24:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

What do you do when you are feeling down and there does not seem to be an outlet?


I force myself to get moving - gardening, walking, swimming, going to the gym, yoga. It's never failed.

Massage is great too.



I get paralyzed that I simply cant or wont do anything. I fear change, and even simple tasks can be monumental.

For instance this morning- I wake up- as usual- want more sleep but that wont happen- I think- Oh I will be on the computer the same routine as usual. Bummer- then I think- well the power could go out- the work men could make alot of noise, I could have a crises- so- the mundane is in fact something I want.

The event of losing a parent is HUGE. Not knowing also drains a person.


Yet we all have the things we would do some day thing- hobbies or interests.

One imagine that comes to mind is an elephant on a chain- over time you can chain it to a lawn chair and it wont go any further- even tho it could.

HUGS to anyone who needs them!!!



Missokyst -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 8:44:57 AM)

I hate that vague sort of end date thing that doctors do. Mom had a bi-pass at age 80, a stroke at 84, then again at 86. The thing that will kill her eventually should be her kidneys, which are currently at 7%, but with my controling her meds and much of her food she has been held at fairly well for coming on 2 yrs now. I am the fixer. If there is a way to make things better I will research it to find the best info and with this her lifespan has held steady.

I have a sister that watches her when she gets around to it on Fridays. I use that day to work full time hours so I can support the bills.
If I am lucky she may take her on Saturday so I can nap, or take a day off.
I don't ask more of her because she has always been the fun sister, who takes my mom for drives and such. And she now has custody of her 40 yr old grandson who has CP and other illnesses from birth.

I recognize I need to do some fixing for me, but at this point I am just exhausted. Food shopping for meals I used to love to cook makes me want to throw up now. I haven't made a doll in 6 months and for some reason my eyesight is blurry, so making jewely has fallen well off my radar. And men..? LOL just can't happen with me in my current situation, which is terrible since men spark my happy side quite easily.

I need a vacation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

What do you do when you are feeling irrationally blue and it seems to just linger?





I'm going to echo what a lot of posters have said - get some support in place now.

Two years ago (almost exactly to the day) I was in your position. We'd been told at Easter that my dad wouldn't last much longer, although it was so vague as to be "weeks or maybe a year". My mum, sister and I decided to honour dad's request to not go back to hospital, so we nursed him at home.

This went on for 4 months. That time was emotionally devastating, but we just kept on going for dad. We had each other for support, and we knew it was helping dad. When he died, mum and sister did the 'stiff upper lip' thing and coped. I coped until I went back to work, then fell apart. I was off work for a month, coping with the emotional implosion of my life.

My point is, if I'd got help before I got to that point I'd have been in a better place when the inevitable happened. Looking back now, I wished I'd had some 'outsider' I could unload on and get encouragement to look after me, not just dad.

You are important, and looking after you should be one of your priorities.




Hillwilliam -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 10:03:08 AM)

I grab a flyrod and head for the mountains.



myotherself -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 10:52:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst


I need a vacation.





You need a hug, a shoulder to cry on and a warm body to rant at.

I'll send you a virtual hug now {{{{{{{{{{{{bunnyhug}}}}}}}}}}}



mnottertail -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/8/2013 10:58:16 AM)

OK, simple stuff. Go get one of those fried green tomato movie thingies, and some really slobbery wet panties harlequin romances from the second hand store, and grab up some candles, chocolate and white wine, and run a hot wantonly soapy bath.

Do something different. Just anything, wash the car in the rain, change your new guitar strings..........



kalikshama -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/9/2013 5:37:28 AM)

quote:

for some reason my eyesight is blurry, so making jewely has fallen well off my radar.


I put off making jewelry until I got reading glasses, finally got them, and haven't used them so have not adjusted to them, so my beads are sitting in a corner, gathering dust. B is complaining that I've never worn a shirt he bought me from Chico's - it's waiting for me to make the necklace (and for the weather to be cool enough for long sleeves.)

I was having some blurry vision. My mom has macular degeneration, and recommended I take zinc and copper, and the periodic blurriness has gone away. I get OptiZinc.

See http://www.aoa.org/patients-and-public/caring-for-your-vision/diet-and-nutrition/zinc and your eye doctor.



pahunkboy -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/9/2013 6:36:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

for some reason my eyesight is blurry, so making jewely has fallen well off my radar.


I put off making jewelry until I got reading glasses, finally got them, and haven't used them so have not adjusted to them, so my beads are sitting in a corner, gathering dust. B is complaining that I've never worn a shirt he bought me from Chico's - it's waiting for me to make the necklace (and for the weather to be cool enough for long sleeves.)

I was having some blurry vision. My mom has macular degeneration, and recommended I take zinc and copper, and the periodic blurriness has gone away. I get OptiZinc.

See http://www.aoa.org/patients-and-public/caring-for-your-vision/diet-and-nutrition/zinc and your eye doctor.



Burry eye sight= you should have your sugar checked.



Missokyst -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/9/2013 8:57:19 AM)

Hmm... I am not diabetic but lately I have considered that may be something which has changed. thanks.



MercTech -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/9/2013 9:04:18 AM)

I tend to get myself too busy to dwell on the sad feelings.
Now, if you do that too much for too long you get labeled a workaholic. <grin>




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/9/2013 9:25:10 AM)

You know, not only are you physically exhausted from caring for your mother, you are also in a double grieving phase.

Which means your situational depression is much worse.

I concur about the hug, and with Ron's suggestions, which were so spot on, I almost mistook him for Ronnie.

quote:

OK, simple stuff. Go get one of those fried green tomato movie thingies, and some really slobbery wet panties harlequin romances from the second hand store, and grab up some candles, chocolate and white wine, and run a hot wantonly soapy bath.

Do something different. Just anything, wash the car in the rain, change your new guitar strings..........




Missokyst -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/9/2013 4:31:22 PM)

I am mentally adverse to romance or female empowering movies for some reason, I can't stomach them for long. IDK, maybe because I cannot relate to that at all. lol oddly I have no problem watching crime for hours on end. I would LOVE a hot soapy bath. I may end up escaping to a hotel for the night and indulging. Our bath here is a few inches deep, supposedly to aid in preventing drownings. Gotta love CA.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

OK, simple stuff. Go get one of those fried green tomato movie thingies, and some really slobbery wet panties harlequin romances from the second hand store, and grab up some candles, chocolate and white wine, and run a hot wantonly soapy bath.

Do something different. Just anything, wash the car in the rain, change your new guitar strings..........




littlewonder -> RE: Snap out of it! (8/9/2013 7:55:19 PM)

I'm going to bet your blurry eyes are because you're exhausted. If you are not getting enough sleep then yeah...your eyes won't be able to focus.

While I just needed reading glasses as of last year, my eyes still get generally blurry when I'm really tired or stressed because all I want to do is sleep.

So try to get some rest. You need it to keep strong and healthy.



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