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how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:01:07 PM   
DakotaPup


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline 		How do you move on after being with a Master... He doesn't even tell you he was leaving... he just ignores you and you find out he is with some one else... and that other slave messages and tells you that she is now with him and you just need to leave... how do you cope with all this...???

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DakotaPup
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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:06:06 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Assuming this is real life:

Realize that he is an asshole, pick yourself up, take care of you and take time to heal.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:06:57 PM   
deliriuminabox


Posts: 135
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline 		Cut all contact. Do not reach out to him. Do not let him contact you. That's the first step. Because at this point, maintaining any sort of tether to him is just going to hurt you more.

Of course this also means you've suddenly got a lot more time on your hands than you did before. What do you do with it?

There are the usual suggestions: take up a new hobby, catch up with old friends, make some new ones etc etc. In my case I threw myself into my job and started playing online games. I also started walking 5 miles every morning. It clears my head and I'm seeing lots of improvement to my health as well. Find what works for you!

Its ok to be sad and its ok to cry but don't let yourself wallow in it. That just ends up causing you more pain and it won't bring him back nor will it open the door for you to meet someone new.

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“Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.” ~Tori Amos

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:07:52 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Well, you go and try to forget about him. It sucks, I'm sorry.

You wouldn't want him back after all that, so try as hard as you can to move on. I find that throwing myself into being busy, exercising, and talking to close friends helps me at times like that - the usual things people do to get over a breakup.

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:19:08 PM   
DakotaPup


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline 		I am trying to do everything that everyone has suggested... but it is hard.. but I know I will bounce back... but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...??

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DakotaPup

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:26:05 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		No one ever. You're the first in the entire human race. A pioneer.
















Of course they do. Go buy a pint of ice cream, a box of pastries, and call every one of your friends.

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:37:00 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup

I am trying to do everything that everyone has suggested... but it is hard.. but I know I will bounce back... but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...??



Your "master" went behind your back and found someone else.
The person in this equation who was not "good enough for some one" is him.

He behaved in a cowardly despicable manner and you deserve much better.


The entire text of the book is here: http://www.buildfreedom.com/content/books/survive/
It may be useful.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:58:48 PM   
BamaD


Posts: 20687
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup

I am trying to do everything that everyone has suggested... but it is hard.. but I know I will bounce back... but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...??

I get the feeling that he is a domineering coward, not a real master but a bully without the strength for a LTR. Find someone worthy to be your master.

_____________________________

Government ranges from a necessary evil to an intolerable one. Thomas Paine

People don't believe they can defend themselves because they have guns, they have guns because they believe they can defend themselves.

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 4:59:55 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup

I am trying to do everything that everyone has suggested... but it is hard.. but I know I will bounce back... but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...??


Seriously, you don't feel good enough after some guy acts like a total douchebag? Be glad the fuckweasel is gone. How much more time and energy would you have wanted to waste on him? It's better being alone than with someone that low.

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 5:43:05 PM   
BamaD


Posts: 20687
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup

How do you move on after being with a Master... He doesn't even tell you he was leaving... he just ignores you and you find out he is with some one else... and that other slave messages and tells you that she is now with him and you just need to leave... how do you cope with all this...???

Two words
trade up

_____________________________

Government ranges from a necessary evil to an intolerable one. Thomas Paine

People don't believe they can defend themselves because they have guns, they have guns because they believe they can defend themselves.

(in reply to DakotaPup)
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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 5:54:40 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		The little weenie didn't even tell you, and had his new girl break the news to you?

He didn't deserve the title of Master. It's an insult to genuine Masters for you to call him that. I grant you permission to refer to him by his first name.

He's in your past.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup
does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...??


You're not good enough for HIM? Get real. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 5:55:01 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup
How do you move on after being with a Master... He doesn't even tell you he was leaving... he just ignores you and you find out he is with some one else... and that other slave messages and tells you that she is now with him and you just need to leave... how do you cope with all this...???

The answer to all such situations is "You do a wholesale order of Ben & Jerry's then between you and the ice cream you wait out the pain."

I am kind of curious though, is this online or offline? If it's online then the good news is that online relationships start faster and end faster and the pain goes away faster. They still hurt a whole whack though.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 6:31:12 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

He doesn't even tell you he was leaving... he just ignores you and you find out he is with some one else


This suggests to me that this was a cyber, not real life, relationship. If that's correct, then you learn your lesson that cyber-relationships are make believe nonsense, join your local, real-time BDSM community and meet people face to face. If that's not correct, then you move on the same way you moved on from any other intimate relationship that suddenly ends.

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 6:44:14 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
cyber-relationships are make believe nonsense

I will never understand how obviously smart people can say such a thing. So then.... the woman that I've known for years and years first online then telephone but never face to face... that was nothing? Because damn I should probably call her and tell her to stop worrying about me then because it's all "make believe nonsense".

If two people relate then it is a relationship. That seems pretty basic to me. The medium of exchange offers various pros and cons as well as changing an interesting array of features. But it is still a relationship. That ought to be axiomatic.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 7:03:30 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Sure it's a relationship, but as people often comport themselves very differently online than IRL, it is often not a relationship grounded in reality. YMMV.

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Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 7:05:06 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

but does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...??


No, but when I saw a pattern of making bad choices I addressed this in therapy and am now with the man of my dreams.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 8:38:25 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Sure it's a relationship, but as people often comport themselves very differently online than IRL, it is often not a relationship grounded in reality. YMMV.

*nods* The fact that many people choose to use the medium in a fantasy way doesn't mean that it's not usable for actual, genuine, human to human communication on a real and pragmatic level. From my standpoint Skype, telephones, SecondLife, email, and snail mail are all just mediums of communication -- just as face to face speech is. They can all be used with integrity... or not.

I often get the feeling people think the only form of online relationship is some breathless gorean kajira in a chatroom proclaiming the fire in her slave belly to all and sundried masters. Sometimes when Carol or I used to travel we would meet in secondlife and yes, virtually snuggle in my virtual hammock and watch the virtual moon as we talked about the very real day's events. It was emotionally comforting. Sometimes we would leave our avatars sleeping together in the hammock as we slept in real life then we could "wake up together". I have to admit that one even baffled me a bit but we both agreed it was true.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to kalikshama)
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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 9:53:02 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
cyber-relationships are make believe nonsense

I will never understand how obviously smart people can say such a thing. So then.... the woman that I've known for years and years first online then telephone but never face to face... that was nothing? Because damn I should probably call her and tell her to stop worrying about me then because it's all "make believe nonsense".

If two people relate then it is a relationship. That seems pretty basic to me. The medium of exchange offers various pros and cons as well as changing an interesting array of features. But it is still a relationship. That ought to be axiomatic.



Ditto

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/8/2013 10:39:44 PM   
BamaD


Posts: 20687
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The little weenie didn't even tell you, and had his new girl break the news to you?

He didn't deserve the title of Master. It's an insult to genuine Masters for you to call him that. I grant you permission to refer to him by his first name.

He's in your past.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DakotaPup
does anyone get the feeling that aren't good enough for some one after something like this happens...??


You're not good enough for HIM? Get real. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you.

I would grant her permission to call him the SOB

< Message edited by BamaD -- 8/8/2013 10:40:04 PM >

_____________________________

Government ranges from a necessary evil to an intolerable one. Thomas Paine

People don't believe they can defend themselves because they have guns, they have guns because they believe they can defend themselves.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how do you move on after losing you Master? - 8/9/2013 12:55:59 AM   
DakotaPup


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline 		I would like to thank all for their responses.... And right now I still feel like crap...

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DakotaPup

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