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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/11/2013 1:10:09 PM

jola37

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hugs to all xx

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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/11/2013 4:20:40 PM

Politesub53

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

^ seems cold. my 2 cents...

Big hugs Shahar

Pahunk......Not cold, just different strokes.

My dad passed 20 years ago. My brother goes to the grave now and then, he usued to visit regularly. I have only been once, on my own and during a thunderstorm. I just had an inkling I had to go and visit.

My brother gets upset on my dads birthday, I dont. My brother crosses off the day on his calender, I dont. I prefer to remember him when I pass someplace we went together, or when I watch the football team he took me to as a four year old.

Two brothers..... Neither one cold, or indifferent....... just different strokes.

This makes me wonder if there is a cultural thing on grieving. Or maybe we just wear our emotions on our sleave more in the US

Try reading the part about my brother and I doing things differently again.

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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/11/2013 5:28:14 PM

JstAnotherSub

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The first year the anniversary of my dads death passed without me noticing, I felt bad for a bit, the I realized it is all part of the healing process and survival process.

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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/11/2013 5:57:39 PM

Gauge

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We all die. If you didn't know that... SURPRISE! You now know how the book ends.

One of my very dear friends told me as he was dying from throat cancer that dying is part of the adventure of living. That always stuck with me.

My Mother passed last year in June. I mourned and had a great sense of relief as well because I had taken care of her for nearly 20 years... and my mother was a difficult person. I do not make any bones about that because how is it honoring the dead by weaving lies about who they were? I spent 72 hours, awake by her side and watched her die in the hospital. She knew I was there and during that time when she was lucid I was able to say things to my mother that I could never have said to her under any other circumstances. It was very difficult, but when she died she knew that I loved her and I knew she loved me.

Many cultures allow a brief time for mourning and then they launch into a celebration of life honoring the one who passed. It makes more sense to me to do that than it does to mire ones-self in mourning and grief. But everyone has their own process and if it doesn't fit what we do, who are we to say it is wrong?

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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/11/2013 6:20:16 PM

pahunkboy

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quote:

mother was a difficult person

I take that as a compliment. I am too.

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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/11/2013 7:03:06 PM

Gauge

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

I take that as a compliment. I am too.

Well that is really odd because that comment had absolutely nothing to do with you in the least and everything to do with my mother. So, do me a favor and don't make it about you.

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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/12/2013 1:57:54 AM

garyFLR

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

...my father passed away, doing what he loved doing, fishing on the river.

I was over 200 miles away, with no way to get to him, no job because I was dealing with my own problems.

Mom and I will probably cut some crepe myrtle flowers from his trees and toss them on the river. I know she misses him.

I miss him in my own way...fishing with him, catching either the biggest one or more than him...after all, he started taking me fishing when I was 2 days old...

A bit late, but, thinking of you Shahar. Gary xx.

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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/12/2013 2:07:27 AM

ShaharThorne

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Thanks guys...

My brother M and his family got a dozen roses, gave us half of them and the other half were tossed into the river.

We held the memorial a year later according to Osage beliefs (great grandpa was full blood Osage, but the family is assimilated into white society).

I was teasing my Mom the other day that someone constructed a TARDIS coffin...I want one and have it cremated with me in it. What else would you expect from a Whovian...

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RE: 6 years ago... - 8/12/2013 5:44:13 AM

pahunkboy

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Today would be my dads birthday.

We always went camping in August. He died August 21, 1986.

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