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Rochsub2009 -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/13/2013 10:30:44 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trustandesire
Yes, been married, yes still happily. no cheating. Yes looking to because lack of sex has made me a bit nuts. Shoot me. Would rather have wife on board hence my posting this way out of control post. Asthma prevents oral sex and some regular sex. meds make her spazz and no sleep. It's all connected and it all affects back to the sex life which suffers. Not rich, not looking to spend gobs of money on a hooker or any woman. Was looking for another who had the same empty place as me. RE-thinking my options.
Trustandesire,
Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability. Your initial post left out several critical details, and in some ways, that caused the exchange of contentious posts that followed. But we now have a better understanding of your situation.
It sounds like you love your wife, and want to stay with her, but you also want to enjoy a sex life that may not be possible with your wife. That's a tough dilemma.
As many have already indicated, the likelihood of your wife accepting the idea of you bringing in a younger sex slave is probably very low. Most married women who have never indicated an interest in polyamory don't just convert to polyamory with the first conversation. But perhaps your wife will be the exception, so good luck with that (I mean that sincerely).
But assuming she doesn't go along with the idea of you bringing in an outside lover, what do you plan to do then? That's really when you are going to have to make some tough decisions.
1) Will you discreetly bring in an outside lover and hope your wife doesn't find out?
2) Will you accept your wife's decision, and give up on the idea of having an outside sex slave?
3) Will you divorce your wife and seek the sexual fulfillment that you deserve?
4) Will you try to find new and innovative ways to make your current situation more sexually enjoyable?
Frankly, I wouldn't judge you if you chose to divorce her. You deserve to be happy, just like she does. So divorce might be a more honest (and some might say "moral") choice than cheating. But there are serious implications of divorce, and you will have to really think about them.
Frankly, I would suggest that you take a long look at option 4. There are ways to have a fulfilling sexual life without intercourse. Have you guys explored mutual masturbation, oral, bondage, role playing, and other ways of satisfying your erotic urges? Perhaps you can masturbate in front of her while she directs your actions (you did say that she is dominant). Or perhaps you can experiment with sex toys like butt plugs (for you, not for her), tens units, violet wands, etc.
Many marriages have had to face tragedies like erectile dysfunction, paralysis, and disfigurement. Yet, plenty of people in those situations have found ways to keep the romance in their lives. You should consider researching what people in those situations do.
Good luck to you. You really are facing a difficult situation. But with creativity and lots of communication, you and your wife can overcome this challenge.
-Roch
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