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You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 11:24:16 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have been trying to digest something that happened several days ago while I was playing with my Dom. He tied up my arms above my head, blind folded me, and then after beating me for a while he slapped my face (which I had more than eagerly agreed to try). I sunk so fast into subspace that my head swam, there were colors before my eyes, and my stomach dropped so fast I became nauseous.. He asked me if I was ok a few times and at first I stubbornly refused to call my safeword, and then I knew I had to.

In this state I thought he had really hit me hard, my brain was confused. I felt really no pain at all, but it was a loud "smack", and it was jarring. I was shocked I guess. He had me totally cared for and as I creeped back into my body I realized he hadn't struck me hard after all.

He has questioned me several times as to whether I want to try that again, and I was ambivalent about it. I am a curious person so I told him "I want to try it again", so he face slapped me again last night. I wasn't expecting it, it jarred me again, and I sunk into subspace again (minus the nausea). After we were through playing he tapped me on the arm and showed me how hard he face slaps me.. It feels like a tap, not at all hard.

I trust him implicitly not to harm me, he has a third degree black belt, he knows how to keep from harming me. I was still surprised he had only tapped me when it seemed like he had decked me. Has anyone else ever experienced something like this? Have you thought for an instant that you were really walloped when you in fact weren't at all?

Just for the record, I decided I really love my face slapped...lol

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 11:25:54 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Has anyone else ever experienced something like this? Have you thought for an instant that you were really walloped when you in fact weren't at all?


The answer to any question that begins "Does anyone else..?" is always YES.

Scene headspace is not rational headspace.  This is the seed from which all great mindfucks are grown.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 11:39:39 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I've always been the other way round - not felt it until afterwards.
I'm with you on the 'shock' thing though, even if i see it coming a good face slap still surprises me.
I too love it.

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 11:50:21 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		yup....me too...I often find myself shocked afterward when I see the "damage" and think....we didn't play that hard did we?

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 11:56:03 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

yup....me too...I often find myself shocked afterward when I see the "damage" and think....we didn't play that hard did we?


Exactly why I was so surprised that I had this reaction to a simple tap on the face (even if it sounded like a "crack"). I have had more than a few bruises and begged for more not knowing they were even there.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 12:02:31 PM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
I've always been the other way round - not felt it until afterwards.


This is my response too.  A few weeks ago, my Dom was spanking me (for punishment and eroticism at the same time) and left a serious mark (read: hand print for days) and I hardly felt it.  Even afterwards it was not painful or irritated.  He was absolutely shocked at both his exertion and my response.  I was bound and held down at the time, and I am sure that most of my lack of physical reaction was my mental state.

I don't think that I would like to be face-slapped, though it was that concept spoken to me in a fantasy by my cyberfriend that got me started down my path to finding my true self so... *shrug*...

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 12:03:15 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		On the other side being the one doing the whacking....I am amazed at
some submissives,what seems like it should have hurt doesnt faze them at all.
And things that shouldnt hurt do.

Some bruise easier than others do also so sometimes they think W/we played hard and really it wasnt.

I bruise easy and recently did a wrestling thing....that thread way back got Me thinking.....
Anyway I did it, loved it and am covered with rug burns and bruises,none of which hurt by the way,okay the rug burns hurt...but other than that I'm fine. And ready for round 2....LOL

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 12:04:33 PM   
Jnj


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Joined: 9/28/2004
Status: offline
I think that LA is spot on here. We become more sensitive to stimuli when scening, mainly because we don't have the time to rationally work out our perceptions while we are in an intense head space. From the bottom's perspective, face slapping sounds a lot louder than you expect it to, and it doesn't take much to rock the head, even with a gentle smack. It is easy for a bottom to assume the hit was hard before actually taking the time to feel it.

I've definitely experienced this before, and am often guilty of the anticipatory "OUCH" when he pulls his hits some time.  I see a smack coming, quickly, and naturally assume it will hurt like hell.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 12:30:20 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jnj



I've definitely experienced this before, and am often guilty of the anticipatory "OUCH" when he pulls his hits some time.  I see a smack coming, quickly, and naturally assume it will hurt like hell.




I call that the flinch factor...they see it and flinch before they are even touched...
There are penalties for that....LOL

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to Jnj)
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 1:19:23 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		Sometimes it is not how hard the blow is, but where it is placed and how it is struck.  Your arousal state can also intensify your feelings and reactions to even the smallest of things.  A well controlled face slap can be a powerful thing for both parties

K

edited because somebody keeps moving the letters around on the keyboard,damnit, lol


< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 6/29/2006 1:20:31 PM >

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 1:52:59 PM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Has anyone else ever experienced something like this? Have you thought for an instant that you were really walloped when you in fact weren't at all?


The answer to any question that begins "Does anyone else..?" is always YES.

Scene headspace is not rational headspace.  This is the seed from which all great mindfucks are grown.


Actually... my answer is NO. But then again.. face slapping me can get someone hurt real fast around me.


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 2:31:35 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Actually this has been an enlightening post. Face-slapping has been one of my soft limits because I had always been convinced someone could not (not really) always sucessfully gauge just how hard their impact on the other person might be (also, it seemed a tad brutal - well, like branding someone isn't brutal, too? And I like the idea of being branded, really...so I guess it was just one of those weird "squicks" I might have for little apparent reason), but - 

It is nice to know there are people out there doing it, that can hit what seems to be really hard, but is actually not - and that way, both people hopefully can "get what they came for" from doing it w/less actual danger.

- Susan  

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/29/2006 2:43:17 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 4:36:24 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Susan,

Yes, it can be done safely and sanely. He is very expert on doing these things, and I have this thing about the fantasy of having it done... I think part of what made it feel "harder" than it was is because my face was gently craddled on one side while the blow is landed from the other.. my head has no where to go, there is no recoil to absorb the blow of the hand as it lands. It was well placed too.


I think LA is right.. He is into mind fucks and enjoys that aspect of getting me into that overwhelmed headspace. Even though I was nauseous it still was a pretty awesome feeling.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 7:58:07 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Julia,
 
Being on the other side of the flogger, I can tell you that different
subs/slave react differently and the same sub/slave can react differently
during different sessions or within the same one.
 
The Dom/me can lightly touch the sub/slave and witness a severe
reaction.  On the converse, a severe beating may cause little or no
pain during the Scene; afterwards, the welts and bruises cause surprise to the sub/slave.
 
A good amount of fear and anticipation will build the force of impact
just as much as brute force.
 
YMMV,
 
Vendaval
 
 
 
 

< Message edited by Vendaval -- 6/29/2006 7:59:23 PM >

_____________________________

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 8:07:19 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
(also, it seemed a tad brutal)- 


When I was growing up my mother was abusive. The tinyest thing would set her off and if I was within arms reach she'd slap or backhand me. Over time, if she moved quickly (to scratch an itch for example) I would sometimes flinch, which would piss her off and I'd surely get beaten.
 
I guess face slapping has taken on a sense of being powerless and humiliated and it has always been a limit for me... I wonder if perhaps I should investigate whether I can desensitize myself to the past issues, with a trusted partner?
 
It's gotten me thinking...

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 9:09:38 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		I've only ever had one person/partner slap me in the face (outside of teen year fights with females who were afraid to make a fist even when I did.)  He was abusive - not dominant - though I met and became involved with him via supposed mutual bdsm interests.  On only one occassion during the time that we were playing together (before he became overtly abusive - he still had that Mask on) did he ever attempt to incorporate face slapping into the play.
 
I was honestly more surprised at my reaction to it happening than he was - and no, it wasn't a "pleasant" reaction.  It triggered something purely instinctual, and I came up swinging, snarling, baring my teeth.  I went for HIS throat, even though it took several seconds (and coming out of that particular headspace) to realize what I was doing.
 
I've warned every potential play partner since then that it's a bad idea - not a limit, as I'm willing to attempt it - simply a bad idea, and they have to be prepared for the consequences regardless of whether it's good or bad.  I'm not going to tell them "Sure, go ahead" and then allow them to get pissy with me (or Punish me) when I go ballistic after I've warned them that it could easily happen.

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Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 9:25:55 PM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		one thing I have found from this whole thing is this action happened and you immediately dropped .... it's not the slap julia .. he could swing his hand at you full and hard and stop a fraction of an inch from your face and you would drop .. the rush of the slap coming is setting off the endorphines in you that create the chemical sub space your experiencing ... I have seen women who build themselves up with anticipation over getting a tattoo ... by the time the needle gets just off the skin they drop boom .. and they aree in the same subspace your experiencing.
 
just enjoy the ride and know there is nothing wrong with you

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A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 9:34:07 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Good to know, juliaoceania. Glad you enjoyed it.

-Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 9:42:52 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Iv'e waited the entire thread so far, just to make this point.

When you put someone in an altered state, you CANNOT simply rely on some trendy thing like a safe word. It is no more reliable than the body which must utter it. What you MUST rely on is a competent Top.

And if there is no one at the wheel who REALLY knows how to drive,with all of the quirks and wierdness that can happen in this........

You are going to be in a world of hurt-and in more ways than one.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/29/2006 9:44:44 PM   
fyrekittyn


Posts: 282
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: Memphis, TN
Status: offline 		Face slapping is currently a soft limit for me...I am turned on by the thought, but I just don't know if I am ready for the feeling. I have been asked to do some Pro Sub work where face slapping would almost certainly happen, and I am trying to figure out if I want to do that or not...

(in reply to SusanofO)
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