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RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 1:10:30 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I'm fully aware that my post has a negative inclination to it, that's because it's a reflection of my negative experiences on this site.

When I was looking, my profile focused on what I wanted to attract. I just ignored or used Block and Delete for what didn't interest me. Since I wasn't interested in married-cheating-desktop-diminants, there was no point giving them real estate in my profile.

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(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 21

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 1:12:43 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

But in all honesty I think it's only the forum posters that read profiles. As the only ppl who've viewed my profile you Myotherself and a handful of passer bys

I started viewing in stealth mode here and on OKCupid after getting annoying messages from peeps who though my View meant more than it did.

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(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 22

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 2:28:28 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Are there any dommes out there willing to just talk? Share knowledge and experiences to help better myself as a submissive and help to find what I'm looking for? Or am I barking up the wrong tree?

Lots of them. Most of them are doing exactly that, and more, at real time, BDSM community events.

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 23

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 2:32:13 PM

imogenempire

Posts: 12
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline

A few different thoughts...

Speaking only for myself, I never bother to reply to those generic "hi, how are you..?" messages. I don't have the time or the inclination to reply to every single message I receive here or anywhere, so naturally I'm only going to reply to those I find intriguing. Also, again speaking personally, I am a humiliatrix, findom and an abusive type of domme. My profile makes my personality and style quite clear, so when someone messages me, I'm going to assume they've read it and that's what they are interested in. I wonder if you've perhaps messaged dommes like me rather than the kind you seem to be looking for. There are many women who are more nurturing and maternal in style, and plenty who are interested in lifestyle bdsm, but there are also many who are not and will not respond well to that. You're here to make friends, but not everyone else is. I would also say, it's rather ridiculous to assume that everyone you try to chat up is going to be interested in you. If you think women have a superiority complex because we don't all want you, I think you may have some growing up to do.

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 24

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 3:02:49 PM

Makemeobey4you

Posts: 24
Status: offline

It's not like I spammed a message to all the female dominants I saw first of all. Second, The types of dommes that YOU are I avoid massaging because I do know the out come. But then you come across some with no or a vague profile; and it is in those instances I am referring to mostly. Lastly my messages aren't so drull as "hi how are you" I do add depth to them and am still responded to in a rude manner; or get a response like "send me 100$ then we can talk."

Sorry if I didn't add so much detail to my original post, but that is what I've been getting and that's why I felt I should make a post about it.

And one side note to everyone who responded (the lot of you who were helpful) please accept my whole hearted apology if my post came off as offensive or rude or out of context. I'm not someone who goes looking for trouble like I said I'm here to make friends and learn from one another so please excuse the misunderstanding and accept my apology if you don't already have a hated perspective of me

(in reply to imogenempire)

Post #: 25

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 3:13:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I may have something that answers your question.

I'm probably one of the chicks that might fit into what you are talking about. I've even got it as a part of My profile, where it roughly says that I enjoy talking to folks from the forums or who are local to Me, but if you've found Me from the personals side of CM and send Me mail, you're probably not going to like the response that you'll receive.

Why do I have that? Because I'm very straightforward about the fact that I'm here for My own interests and I don't bs folks about prioritizing My time in those ways which benefit Me. It's great that you're here to learn and/or to meet someone, but whether you do or not doesn't really impact Me and there will be a hundred other folks who check that male submissive box when they sign up for the site tomorrow. I'm much more focused on what happens in My local community, where taking My time to get to know people and helping to educate them does have a positive impact on Me. I'm glad to talk with folks from the forums because I spend time on them and enjoy those discussions, so again, interacting with those folks has a positive impact on Me. When somebody who isn't in one of those categories does whatever they chose to do, it really doesn't have squat to do with Me, so it's not a huge concern of Mine.

Luckily for you, OP, not everybody is as self-centered as I am and they don't care how much of their time they spend on folks that just drop off random mail to them and will take excessive amounts of time on the matter out of the goodness of their heart. I'm just not one of them.

An answer that you may not particularly like, but it's an honest one.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 26

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 3:13:24 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Welcome to the site. There are about 20,000 kinky people registered on Fetlife.com in Philadelphia - probably lots more in the surrounding areas, 160 groups, multiple events including several large kinky conferences, and several munch events.

If you are new and want to learn, do it with real people that you can meet and talk to live and in person. You are highly unlikely to find what you are looking for here, though we have lively discussion. :)

Good luck!

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 27

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 3:26:47 PM

Makemeobey4you

Posts: 24
Status: offline

And finally comes the voice of reason. Thank you

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 28

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 6:53:32 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

There are a shit ton of female dominant profiles out there. Some are bots, some are scammers, some aren't even women, and some are actual women. Now...not knowing what you have sent to these profiles you have messaged, there is no way I can help figure out what might be going wrong there.

Is what you are looking for out there? Yes, perhaps. But it takes time and patience. It's been about a month since you joined. It took me 6 years to finally find my guy. It took a lot of time, a lot of patience, and work on my part. But it happened for me. So it can happen for you too.

I'll be honest...Im not much for the whole mail message connection thing either. I much prefer actual interaction with people. I got the impression this was what you were looking for based on your OP. If I read it wrong, my bad. Sorry about that.

A little less negative is highly attractive

. Just sayin'

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 8/12/2013 6:56:14 PM >

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 29

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 9:50:00 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you

Yeah... "you're all a bunch of stuck up bitches" usually isn't the best conversation starter.

I'm merely stating my experience on this website; and looking for the deciding factor on whether I should stay or go. And in my experience here I'd say 1 out of every 10 people have common decency. I'm just checking if there are any genuine kind hearted people on here and if not I'll take my leave. I didnt use the phrase "stuck up bitch" because that's not what Im saying. I'm asking if their are any people worth talking to on here, or are we all just to obsorbed in ourselves that we cant be bothered by others

Tough love, my fellow sub:

The problem is not the women; it's you.

First, you have to accept that if you write a private email to someone they are under no obligation to respond, let alone get into a conversation with you. People are busy, and most don't want to be your mentor or online friend. Your very presumption that people should desire that is arrogant. By and large, the personal ads are up for people to meet a potential partner -- very few people here in my experience are using the profile section to find online buddies.

And that pro domme you were such great pals with? You were a client. I am very nice to my clients too, but I wouldn't be their buddy if I wasn't invoicing them. And that pro domme wouldn't care about you if you didn't give her money. Sure, maybe you developed some kind of relationship over time, but don't tell me she didn't make a good bit of cash before that happened.

It's ironic, but not surprising that you talk about how self-absorbed people are, because you are completely self-absorbed. Like this: "I am deciding whether it's worth it to stay or go." No one but you cares if you stay or go. Women here have their email boxes flooded the moment they open an account. They really don't want to be bothered with your "Hello! How are you? Can I learn from you?" Their answer, if they answer at all, should be: "I am busy and if you want to learn there is plenty of stuff to read on the Internet - I am not a school for subs."

Here's the bottom line: If you are truly seeking people to exchange information with, then come to the forums. Contribute to threads. Give as much as you get. But if you are looking for dommes to enter into private, offline discussions with you, most won't because that's just about your needy ego desiring some personal attention.

< Message edited by seekingreality -- 8/12/2013 10:47:50 PM >

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 30

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 9:57:42 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you

It's not like I spammed a message to all the female dominants I saw first of all. Second, The types of dommes that YOU are I avoid massaging because I do know the out come. But then you come across some with no or a vague profile; and it is in those instances I am referring to mostly. Lastly my messages aren't so drull as "hi how are you" I do add depth to them and am still responded to in a rude manner; or get a response like "send me 100$ then we can talk."

How about this: Give us a few examples of responses you've received that you considered to be rude.

Because honestly, I have never received a single rude response in years on this site. Lots of non-responses, sure. But never rude ones. So if you are getting a huge amount of rude responses, I have to assume your initial letter is unwittingly doing things to offend the recipients. Because honestly, 99% of the time women will simply ignore emails, so you really have to do something special to get them to be rude to you.

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 31

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/12/2013 10:53:41 PM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline

When I saw the title of this thread, I figured it would be a blood bath. If I could offer some advice, coming into a "Ask A Mistress" forum and trying to argue with Dommes probably won't help your cause. There are some descent, kind hearted Dommes out there. If your talking about the so called "Dommes" who ask for tribute and stick their middle finger out in their picture, then I would move on anyways.

The Collarchat side is much better than the Collarme side. I think when "Collarme" get's judged a lot, most people are most likely referring to the Collarme side. This side is better in my opinion.

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to seekingreality)

Post #: 32

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 1:32:56 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you

Maybe it's just me but every women I try to contact has a MAJOR superiority complex.

Yeah, I'm going to have to go with the former over the latter.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 33

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 2:13:41 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you

Maybe it's just me but every women I try to contact has a MAJOR superiority complex. Just trying to introduce youursef, with utmost respect mind you, becomes an automatic judgement on your own self. I'm here to LEARN from dommes, make friends, and if I'm lucky find a Goddess to worship. So far, there has been one kind women who is respectful and we've made plans to meet.

Literally everyone else has such an inflated ego they can't be bothered by a friendly "Hello, how are you?" It's disgraceful. Maybe I've got the wrong idea trying to make friends here... I'll only stay on this site for the one women mentioned above.

The first pro domme I've ever went to see became a very good, helpful, and considerate friend. I won't mention her name but she is renouned in the BDSM world and an AMAZING dominatrix as well as an amazing person and friend. You people who are so critical of someone at the first site of a message will never find what you're looking for.

Then again I could be wrong, maybe some people are on here for the soul reason of being treated like shit. But this is the web, a social network, and in my experience on CM it's more like a shit talking network.

Long story short: Get over yourselves, some people want to meet you not to constantly serve you or nip at your ankles, but to meet you and learn from you. That's why I'm here, to LEARN and make FRIENDS.

Hi... I haven't read the responses...so excuse me, to those who have commented after the OP.
You say that you are looking for a goddess....which maybe means people you have contacted have used user names that would appeal to the fem suprem type, they seem to be the "kneel worm" types and attract men who are looking to get their kink met by any means possible.
I dunno but it could be that your "search" needs refining.
Many of the decent dommes in this side of the site are extremely helpful and friendly, but they don't suffer fools gladly, Why should we?

I'm not saying you are a fool but there are plenty to choose from out there.
Also many Dommes don't need to look.
Ill use myself as an example,
I'm married, I'm not looking for another sub, BUT I'm open to discussing BDSM in many facets, and if you don't come across as a total dipstick, I'm even friendly and enjoy chatting with people i've made contact with.

I give most emails I receive from people looking for friends two chances.....
A) they don't ask me to get them off, join them in chat, or Skype them in two emails worth
B), within five mails,
i)that mention they get off on certain types of interactions,
ii)would I be willing to help them , by discussing their kink further,
iii)ask if I'm into something,and if not, do I know anyone that they can email or
iv) can I introduce them to a friend.

After that if it becomes sex centric/ fap material, I reserve the right to do something unpleasant without warning.
Now I doubt, I would interest you as a possible "goddess" or play partner, but I'm hellish friendly otherwise *toot on the horn*
Just my two cents, I haven't read your profile, but my email is open
Good luck

_____________________________

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<) )╯SUCH
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\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
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(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 34

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 7:09:29 AM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline

Hi Makemeobey4you,

The way you started this thread is a little unfortunate, I know you may be frustrated by the lack of response to your messages, but you've been here for less than a month, & things take time.

Dominant Ladies here far outnumber male submissives, & they are inundated by private messages, some good, some bad, mostly indifferent. You need to stand out from the rest.

As it will take time for you to get known, why not spend more time on the forums, especially the 'Ask A Mistress' forums, but there are lots of others, with members more than willing to help a newbie. Ok you've made a pretty inauspicious start to your forum 'career', but on the whole we're a forgiving lot. Just start enjoying CM for what it is, you'll soon make contacts if you put yourself across in a courteous way, but you won't get Dommes stampeding to your door on the strength of one message.

I hope you find the advice your looking for. Regards, Gary.

_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 35

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 7:23:09 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you

It's not like I spammed a message to all the female dominants I saw first of all. Second, The types of dommes that YOU are I avoid massaging because I do know the out come. But then you come across some with no or a vague profile; and it is in those instances I am referring to mostly.

Why are you mailing women with no or a vague profile?

You're setting yourself up for failure by attempting to communicate with somebody who obviously isn't interested in communication, and then whine when communication doesn't happen. Why is that?

Why are you so eager/desperate/stubborn that you're shooting off mails to profiles of people whom you know nothing about except that they're women? Is that the same way you approach dating offline "oh she's female, lets hit her up!" with every person with the right set of chromosomes that passes you on the street?

If that's not the case offline, then why do you think that it will yield you success here? Why are you wasting your time trying to establish a connect with somebody on the basis that she's a girl and likes her sex a certain way?

Save your mails for the profiles that truly inspire you to write them (and no, that does NOT include the ones that 'sorta' sound like they could potentially be a good fit for you, that means ONLY write those that truly speak to you). Your outgoing mail will drop by 99% this way. You response rate will also go up 99% this way...

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 8/13/2013 7:28:09 AM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 36

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 10:39:34 AM

MsSylverdawn

Posts: 147
Joined: 9/26/2011
Status: offline

I Don't know about other people male or female but I am often contacted by people who express their newness to bdsm or to the dallas bdsm community. I am happy help in anyway I can. I offer my opinions on groups or organizations. Offer websites that can put them in touch with people who might share similar interests. Links to the local dungeon and how to get in the first time. I meet for coffee. I have even on occasion had them tag along to a social event for the obvious reasons. I use both the boards and the personal sides. I have even on occasion dropped a inquiring line if a name and profile indicate a newness to my area and life style or even if a post does. I really feel that's important in our lifestyle to be open and accessible to new people otherwise we are no longer to be a vibrant, active community. That's me and I am sure I am not the only one. I think you are contacting people with photo-shopped professional photos who main purpose on this site is to keep their wallets vibrant and active rather than our community. I wish I could say that every one here was honest and real unfortunately especially in the Female Dominant male submissive dynamic their are a lot of opportunists. You have to take the good with the bad...c'est la vie.

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 37

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 12:22:05 PM

SpyUnderCover

Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline

It's easy to get discouraged, but there really are some dommes on here who are nice, receptive people. In addition to some local guys, I chat with a couple out of state gentlemen just as pen pals. But as others have said, I am more open to responding when the introductory message includes more than, "Hi. How are you?" I am most likely to respond to messages that are respectful, articulate, and interesting. Good grammar, spelling and punctuation also get my attention.

Good luck.

Spy

(in reply to MsSylverdawn)

Post #: 38

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 12:34:40 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

How about this: Give us a few examples of responses you've received that you considered to be rude.

Because honestly, I have never received a single rude response in years on this site. Lots of non-responses, sure. But never rude ones. So if you are getting a huge amount of rude responses, I have to assume your initial letter is unwittingly doing things to offend the recipients. Because honestly, 99% of the time women will simply ignore emails, so you really have to do something special to get them to be rude to you.

I agree with this. It completely matches my experience since I've been here. Receiving no response is pretty normal. But getting rude replies takes work. Frankly, I have NEVER received a rude reply. So as Seekingreality stated, you may be doing something wrong.

Try not to take it personally when you don't get a reply. The ratio of male subs to Dommes on this site is about 10,000 to 1. So it's going to take a bit of time and patience to find what you're looking for. And depending on where you live (e.g. if you live in South Dakota), your odds of finding a Domme may be incredibly low. But patience and perseverance are necessary. Frankly, you haven't been here long enough to qualify as having shown either.

BTW, try looking on Fetlife to find local events/people. It will increase your odds of success exponentially versus simply looking on-line.

Good luck to you.
-Roch

(in reply to seekingreality)

Post #: 39

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 12:53:58 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you

And finally comes the voice of reason. Thank you

I don't know if you realize it, but some of your posts come off as unnecessarily rude. Take the one above. I think you were trying to compliment OttersSwim. But instead, you may have inadvertently insulted everyone else.

Do you see how saying "finally comes the voice of reason" may imply that everyone who responded before him was unreasonable?

Remember, we don't know you, so you need to choose your words carefully. All that we have to respond to are your words. And on more than one occasion during this thread, your words have been rude (although I don't think that was your intent).

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

Post #: 40

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