RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM

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RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 7:33:03 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you

And finally comes the voice of reason. Thank you

I don't know if you realize it, but some of your posts come off as unnecessarily rude. Take the one above. I think you were trying to compliment OttersSwim. But instead, you may have inadvertently insulted everyone else.

Do you see how saying "finally comes the voice of reason" may imply that everyone who responded before him was unreasonable?

Remember, we don't know you, so you need to choose your words carefully. All that we have to respond to are your words. And on more than one occasion during this thread, your words have been rude (although I don't think that was your intent).

But this may also show why the guy is getting rude responses. He tends to speak to others in a rude way without realizing it.

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RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/13/2013 7:52:46 PM

imogenempire

Posts: 12
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline

I'm wondering why you're trying to strike up a conversation with someone who has "no or a vague profile" in the first place rather than browsing until you find more thorough profiles that do interest you? If all you know about the lady is that she marked the dominant box and has a vagina, why are you contacting her in the first place?

A lady who requests payment for her time isn't being rude, by the way. She's being a working findom who is probably jumping the gun. Believe me, we get dozens and dozens of messages by the hour. If a sub sounds interesting and a good match I'll jump into conversation with him, but if he's a maybe, I might feel him out with instructions to tribute. If he doesn't, he's not a finsub and ergo not right for me (and I'm not for him). If you get a request for payment and that's not your thing, she's done you the service of letting you know off the bat it won't be fulfilling for you.

I don't think anyone minds asking questions. Also, you were pissed off when you started the thread, who hasn't been? Hopefully you'll end up finding the right match.

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

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RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/14/2013 7:12:46 AM

evesgrden

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
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quote:

Maybe it's just me but every women I try to contact has a MAJOR superiority complex. Just trying to introduce youursef, with utmost respect mind you, becomes an automatic judgement on your own self. I'm here to LEARN from dommes, make friends, and if I'm lucky find a Goddess to worship. So far, there has been one kind women who is respectful and we've made plans to meet.

These women to whom you've introduced yourself, so politely ---- did you not read their profiles first or did you just like their hot pics? Chances are the over-inflated egos that you find so distasteful would not be news to you if you took the time to read their profiles. You'd also likely find that the ones who want tributes from you make that quite clear in their profiles too.

Most Dommes are underwhelmed by men who won't invest 30 seconds to read their profile before sending them a message. Or who read it, and totally disregard it. I can't tell you how many guys I get messages from who are in their 20's,30's,40's or hundreds/thousands of miles away, or who want to pay me to come to them or pay and come to me.. when my profile makes it very clear that I want a relationship with someone my age and local. But I just tell them they need to learn to read profiles, and good luck in your search.

Interestingly, I've only had one drive-by "fuck you" post in the year that I've been here---and it was anonymous. No profile and didn't recognize the name. For whatever reason I haven't been getting the nasty messages that many get after saying thanks but no thanks. I've had to block a few that wouldn't take no for an answer but not a big deal.

At any rate.. go back and look at some of the profiles of the dommes who sent you nasty ego-inflated $$ driven responses and see if perhaps you might have not mailed them had you actually read them.

good luck in your meeting

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Post #: 43

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/14/2013 4:24:15 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Makemeobey4you
But then you come across some with no or a vague profile; and it is in those instances I am referring to mostly.

Others have said some great stuff, but this part did catch me enough to echo:

Why are you messaging these female dominants with these profiles? If you aren't messaging people based on their profiles having information and details that make you interested in and give a feeling of who they are then you must be messaging them based on what *is* in their profile: in short, they are female, dominant, and probably have a pretty picture or three. That's not about learning and making friends, that's indicating clearly that you are seeking based on sex.

For the matter, are the number of submissive females *and* males (again, dominant or submissive) are you writing to "learn and make friends"? If it's not just as often and as many as the female dominants, again, you're not just really looking to learn and make friends.

The other thing I'll echo:

To learn and make friends, your best bet isn't cold-calling profiles on the other side. Chat around here, join Fetlife as there is WAY more chat over there... tons of forums, it's a site focused on talking... and definitely, definitely go to local munches, meetups, and events. Hanging out with a bunch of other folks who live with some level of BDSM in their lives and having convesations with them about it or seeing them teach methods on things will get you a lot further in learning and will make you a lot more friends than even if the female doms on the other side were giving you a great response.

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(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

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Post #: 44

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/14/2013 9:45:40 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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The way you worded your OP, sounds very rude and condescending. I'm not sure what makes you think you're such a special little snowflake. There are a gazillion gabillion male submissives compared to the number of female Dominants out there.

Not all Dommes are into female superiority and/or have a lack of common decency. If you are finding out that's how you're being perceived, maybe it's got something to do with how you present yourself. You need to do something to stand out from the crowd and make yourself appear head & shoulders above the rest of the herd, and your approach here is not doing that. Your OP just looked like a tantrum to me.

Try reading the Ask a Mistress FAQ first and go from there. There's a lot of information in there. And there are a lot of good and decent Dommes here in Ask a Mistress. We do like to be approached with something other than a laundry list of kinks though. I see you've changed your profile some, that's good. It's nice to be approached with something other than "Hi. How you doin'?" Maybe mention something a woman has written in her profile and go from there. We like when someone actually reads our profiles, it shows he's interested in us as individuals, rather than as fetish-delivery systems. Just sayin'.

NBMG

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Post #: 45

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/14/2013 10:15:59 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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Well stated.

OP: I liked your post. It was raw and it was real. I liked your follow up question: short and to the point.

The project here is a bit like trying to grow a plant in the desert. It has been done, and it can be done. It's just not easy. Complaining doesn't make it rain, change the climate, or decrease the debilitating intensity of the SUN overhead.

Good luck. Get a feel for the landscape and give it your best effort. Stay balanced. Spend time with women, even if they aren't goddesses.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 8/14/2013 10:16:58 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)

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Post #: 46

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/15/2013 5:48:53 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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FR

Recently I had someone trying to get my attention. He 'claimed' to have read my profile but did not realise that I am not on there for a hook-up, just for the boards here. I deleted his first 2 mails without reading them (I do read them without him knowing about it). The 3rd time, he got pissed and started writing in all caps, which is considered shouting in computer lingo. I quickly blocked and deleted him. If he tries to contact me with another profile, I will do the same thing. If I want a hook-up, I will do it in another city where I am not known (I live in a small rural area).

Most of us here don't care for the other side. I do view it a few times a day to see if a Dom that I know is around (just friends, like a mentor for me). Most everyone here is on my viewing list and believe me, I have to keep on top of that sucker to weed out the posers.

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Post #: 47

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/15/2013 10:07:09 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
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It's not just women either. I have written to three male posters who are regularly on the cmmb, and they read my PMs and never responded to them. I was kind of surprised by it, but hey, it is CM.

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Post #: 48

RE: Female Superiority+Human Decency=Get off CM - 8/15/2013 10:24:24 AM

paulriley

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/20/2013
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I sent a note to a Mistress on CM ,and all she sent back was her "pay for recording " site .. Nothing else . Disgusting to be sure !!

(in reply to Makemeobey4you)

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Post #: 49