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Why? - 8/13/2013 10:07:52 AM

martin1960

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I am a male sub who is straight, but willing to serve a Dom in a non sexual way. Why does this not seem to attract Doms?

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 10:16:41 AM

OsideGirl

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Because most people are looking for a sexual/intimate relationship, not purely service.

Even female subs that want to provide service only don't find many (real) takers.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 10:21:14 AM

getoutnow

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What OsideGirl said.

I'd consider a service orientated female sub. But there would be times, where I'd want to get intimate. It's only human.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 10:21:36 AM

MadameM4U

Posts: 62
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You simply have not found the "right" Domme. I have the problem in reverse. I am a Domme looking for male service sub who won't expect any sexual contact.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 10:25:38 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: martin1960
I am a male sub who is straight, but willing to serve a Dom in a non sexual way. Why does this not seem to attract Doms?

*shrug* So you'd come over and mow my lawn for me? I'm down with that. So long as you understand that there'd be zero payback for you except the satisfaction of mowing "a dom's" lawn then I'd appreciate the help.

If you're talking about a relationship I want the whole enchilada. I can hire people to mow lawns.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 10:29:49 AM

metamorfosis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: martin1960
Why does this not seem to attract Doms?

I don't know. It sure seems like it would.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 10:54:06 AM

jola37

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in your profile it states that you would consider anyone from a student to a pensioner, or even a man. Before this you list a number of kinky activities where tbh, you're the main beneficiary.

Given the huge numbers of male subs about, these factors probably wont help you to get noticed in the way you want.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 11:02:02 AM

Oneechan

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oh hey you're that person who just messaged me, hello!

you should totally put a face picture and a more precise location on your profile ^^

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 11:16:41 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: martin1960

I am a male sub who is straight, but willing to serve a Dom in a non sexual way. Why does this not seem to attract Doms?

There was another thread on this topic about a week ago. Hopefully someone will find it and post a link to it.

The bottom line is that many (most?) straight Doms feel that having a male sub is a bit "gay". But of course, there are some straight male Doms who will dominate other men.

Why do you want to serve a male? Are you willing to serve a gay male?

There are plenty of female Dommes who are looking for a male service sub. Females often have chores that are more suitable for a man (e.g. cutting the grass, shoveling snow, cleaning the gutters, etc.). Offering your services to do these tasks will make quite a few Dommes very happy. Offering the same service to a man? Meh. In fact, having another man do his chores may make him feel lazy. So if you simply desire to serve, without any sex, then you'll probably have more success if you offer your services to a Domme.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 11:25:11 AM

kalikshama

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Here ya go: Straight Male Masters with male slaves?

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 11:47:09 AM

LadyPact

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I don't know if this will answer your question because I'm female. Hopefully, it will help.

Service is generally something that is done in the Dominant's home. That means that it would have to be somebody that I would already know and get references about through the local community. Somebody who would approach Me on the internet to potentially do this probably wouldn't be considered because I don't know them and have no idea if I could trust them in My home or not. Kind of like the difference between a certified (and background checked) person coming from a cleaning service and somebody who runs a private ad to clean homes.

Also, if it's somebody that is looking for a bartering situation, it would really depend on what they wanted in exchange. If they had kinks that were on My hard limits list (for example, guys who want to do that french maid number) that would put Me in the category of someone who isn't interested.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 12:41:22 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: martin1960

I am a male sub who is straight, but willing to serve a Dom in a non sexual way. Why does this not seem to attract Doms?

Because most Doms are straight. And while you say you would like to serve, most into bdsm are going to want to include sex in their interactions.

My advice to you is either accept that you are bi-sexual or gay or stick to finding a FemDomme and not a Dom.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 1:39:59 PM

MercTech

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Or, those that state they want non-sexual submission are not serious about it.

Several times I've been approached by male submissives at munches or play parties and I've said "I need to get XX done, show up at the house on <insert date and time> and show my you have some decent attitude and skills." Well, none have ever shown.

I don't waste time on people who aren't going to bring something useful to the household.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 6:56:24 PM

littlewonder

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I'm not even a Domme and I've offered for them to serve me...come to my place and clean it, make us dinner, wash our clothes, run errands, etc....and they will have my gratitude as reward.

Sadly and shockingly, I never hear from them again.

I mean, service is service, right?

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 7:00:48 PM

DarkSteven

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I'm a straight Dom. I want a straight or bi woman.

If i started up anything with a male, even if nonsexual, it would affect my primary relationship. Relationship dynamics are tricky things.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 9:09:19 PM

Marini

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quote:

Because most Doms are straight. And while you say you would like to serve, most into bdsm are going to want to include sex in their interactions.

My advice to you is either accept that you are bi-sexual or gay or stick to finding a FemDomme and not a Dom.

I don't agree that "most Doms are straight", there are plenty of Doms on here that are bi-sexual or gay.

I do agree that many people include sex or sexual acts in their interactions.
Not all people of course, but I think most is accurate.

< Message edited by Marini -- 8/13/2013 9:14:40 PM >

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 9:13:15 PM

metamorfosis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I'm a straight Dom. I want a straight or bi woman.

If i started up anything with a male, even if nonsexual, it would affect my primary relationship.

Why would a male, serving in a nonsexual capacity, affect that more than a female?

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 9:24:20 PM

ResidentSadist

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When I was growing up 40 years ago, the crowd I was in told me that if a Master could not accept service from either sex, they weren't truly a part of leather. They were a actually a swinger looking for leather sex. That stereotype was called "swingers with whips".

I'll let you guys chew on the validity of that one.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 9:27:40 PM

Hillwilliam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

When I was growing up 40 years ago, the crowd I was in told me that if a Master could not accept service from either sex, they weren't truly a part of leather. They were a actually a swinger looking for leather sex. That stereotype was called "swingers with whips".

I'll let you guys chew on the validity of that one.

30 years ago, I was a straight male entering the scene. I was REEEEEALLY a rarity.
It was not a place for homophobes.

As for accepting non sexual service from a male, no problem.

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RE: Why? - 8/13/2013 10:00:07 PM

tsatske

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I've had Master who accepted service from male slaves, and even tortured or whipped male slaves for their pleasure. I don't see it as a problem. I do notice that it's mostly either common, or very uncommon, at a given munch or social circle. Once a couple of Doms do it, esp. if they are near the center of the social circle in question, others seem to relax and are more likely to follow suit. I've seen it started with strait male subs who are already in service to a Domme being played with by a couple Doms at a party, and soon, it's just a happening thing. But that's just my experience.

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