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RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/22/2013 6:07:35 PM

getoutnow

Posts: 151
Joined: 8/5/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

From a man's POV, the bad part is that we have to put forth effort. The good part is that we get to choose who we contact. I'd rather have to initiate contact than have to wade through dozens of messages from incompatible people, and reject them.

Actually you are kinda half right. You are right if the male Dom is desperately seeking.

I've messaged quite a few female subs on here and had some great conversations but they then read my profile and come across some hard limits for them. Or they aren't what I am looking for.

I'd rather wade through emails after they had read my profile and they know they are for me. I can then use my time selectively in then further pre-screening them to see if they are right for me.

I live in a great part of florida now. I live in a big apartment next to a pool, I have no debts and I work (for myself) the hours I want to. I can travel anywhere in the world (and have done) at a moments notice.

There are some guys of us here, who want a female to add to our lives. Not just being a dispenser of kink.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 41

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/22/2013 6:29:37 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

quote:

Masturbation is usually far more satisfying than being with someone who doesn't really give a shit about you except as a kink-provider.

Nooo, that's not having a prejudiced attitude against men.

Where did I say that ALL men don't give a shit about you except as a kink-provider? Here's a hint. I didn't. I found a man who sees me as a person FIRST and foremost. I don't have casual sex nor do I casually play. I'm one of those "only within a relationship" kind of people LP told you about. Without a relationship, sex isn't worth it to me. I don't have to worry about picking up a vibrator's dirty socks or wonder if it remembered to put down the toilet seat. It is the things OUTSIDE of sex and kink that make men worthwhile, at least to me. I PREFER kink, I don't need it. I was celibate from 1997-2011 out of choice.

quote:

quote:

And I posit that's what pisses him off no end. That's why I suggested he transition to womanhood so he could quit bitching about the horrible unfairness of it all and enjoy the perceived 'benefits'. I noticed he hasn't replied since I made the suggestion; perhaps his internet privileges have been revoked again.

So I guess women who complain about female disadvantages, I can tell them to shut the hell up and turn into a man? I guess that wouldn't go well if I wanted to be socially accepted heh. But when it's the other way around, well you know, double standards as always.

You would be well within your rights to if all they wanted to do was complain about it instead work to change it.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 8/22/2013 6:32:36 PM >

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to naughtynick81)

Post #: 42

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/22/2013 7:40:15 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

So the question here is "Will A Mistress Read My Profile?" meaning do we read every profile of every sub/slave who sends us a message? Hell to the no. Assuming the sender's message went into my Inbox and not into Bulk Mail, I do read every single message, and I make every effort to reply in some fashion. (Just between you and me - and you didn't read it here - I read all of my Bulk messages also.

) Most of the time it's clear as day from a quick scan of stats whether the sub is remotely what I am looking for, since I am not fetish-driven or kink-driven for the most part. There are times when the user name will give away immediately this sub is not for me, or that I'm not what he's really looking for. If I want to know more about a particular sender, then I'll pull up his profile.

There have been occasions when the user's main picture is a turn-off. If a sub writes only "hi," I no longer respond. If a sub writes he wishes I could be his Mistress, I thank him and wish him luck, but that doesn't necessarily pique my interest. If it appears as though he has sent out a form message, then he gets a short TBNT-Thanks But No Thanks, not-interested response.

But back to profiles. Don't have an empty profile. Nobody has time to reinvent the wheel. One paragraph is better than nothing, stating what it is you're seeking and what you have to offer. Don't neglect to check off your Interests so a Domme can quickly compare areas of potential compatibility. Listing your vanilla interests and pursuits are fine, just don't bury a dozen or so BDSM proclivities within 3-4 times as many non-BDSM related items. I personally prefer a ratio of 2:1. (I didn't do this with my own profile because I have my reasons for not making just a few prurient items stand out.) On the other hand, checking off solely BDSM interests tells me your focus is on sessioning, nothing more substantial.

Last but not least, if you want to get your foot in the door, READ THE MISTRESS's PROFILE THOROUGHLY to see if there is any possibility you could be a match. Then indicate in some manner that you made the effort to do so, if you really want to raise the chances that your own profile will get read.

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to getoutnow)

Post #: 43

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/22/2013 9:01:11 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Not at all. I mostly don't bother wasting my time on most of these replies to my posts as these people are trying to justify why women should be considered more worthy than men. When people have such simplistic and beyond stupid mentalities, it's pointless trying to be reasonable with them. You can't cure stupid.

Nick, You can't cure stupid. The one sensible remark I've seen you write in this thread. Did you lift that from your profile? Do you call yourself a sub? I for one will never want to view your profile. . . .

Earth to Nick: Women ARE more worthy than men. Period. You have exemplified the prime example of how and why (which is no small accomplishment).

< Message edited by TigressLily -- 8/22/2013 9:11:45 PM >

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to naughtynick81)

Post #: 44

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/22/2013 9:19:21 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

So I guess women who complain about female disadvantages, I can tell them to shut the hell up and turn into a man? I guess that wouldn't go well if I wanted to be socially accepted heh. But when it's the other way around, well you know, double standards as always.

I mostly don't bother wasting my time on most of these replies to my posts as these people are trying to justify why women should be considered more worthy than men. When people have such simplistic and beyond stupid mentalities, it's pointless trying to be reasonable with them. You can't cure stupid.

Frankly, I don't personally know any women who complain about being female. They seem quite satisfied with their X chromosomes. I certainly am with mine.

If someone keeps spewing self-fulfilling garbage over and over, gender is not the problem, nicklet. If a woman does it, it's in her best interest to stop self-defeating behavior. If a man does it, it's in his best interest to stop self-defeating behavior. That's sounds pretty egalitarian to me.

The only one separating the worth of the genders here is you, and you've convinced yourself so well of this notion it's become your only reality, and I do mean 'only'. It's all you ever post on.

My sympathies on your self-fulfilling prophesy. Perhaps next time you could give yourself a breather and post a dessert recipe or something. I've been looking for a decent macaroon recipe; would you happen to have one?

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 8/22/2013 9:32:26 PM >

(in reply to naughtynick81)

Post #: 45

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/23/2013 12:29:07 PM

DomMeinCT

Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

Men are shotgunning it; women are laser-beaming it.

Love this! ^^^ QFT!!

Yes, that was spot on.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

Post #: 46

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/24/2013 8:26:28 AM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline

Referring back to the original question 'will a mistress read my profile'.

In my own experience, I would send messages to any CM member, male, female, Domme or sub, if they've written a funny or thought provoking posting on the forums.

I write a message the way I would like to receive a message. Courtesy & politeness, concepts that should be innate within all of us, but, seem to be lacking in some people. If a person's over eighteen & still needs advice on these things, they're in a bad way.

I very rarely read other members profiles, paradoxically only after I've known them for a while, so I don't really expect people to read mine. Yes, grammar is important, but, some peoples English may not be up to scratch for a myriad of justifiable reasons, if it's an interesting message, it's not the drawback some people would claim, but, of course 'spellcheck' is your friend

.

In my experience, in my time with CM, I have received replies to most of the messages I have sent, &, if some of the stories I've been told are true, the Ladies here are gratified to receive a message typed with two hands every now & again

.

So if you want a reply to your pm's, use courtesy, politeness & be interesting, & you won't go far wrong.

(in reply to DomMeinCT)

Post #: 47

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/27/2013 3:07:08 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressLily

So the question here is "Will A Mistress Read My Profile?" meaning do we read every profile of every sub/slave who sends us a message? Hell to the no. Assuming the sender's message went into my Inbox and not into Bulk Mail, I do read every single message, and I make every effort to reply in some fashion.

Thank You for sharing.

Your response helps confirm the point in my earlier post.

Dominant Ladies do read emails they receive. Dominant Ladies do not often browse, read and respond to submissive male profiles.

The submissive male must make an effort to think more like the Lady he is seeking, and interest You. No?

My thought is that seems a lot like vanilla, and often men on collar me forget that!

Have a good day.

_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to TigressLily)

Post #: 48

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/27/2013 3:24:10 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: garyFLR

Referring back to the original question 'will a mistress read my profile'.

In my own experience, I would send messages to any CM member, male, female, Domme or sub, if they've written a funny or thought provoking posting on the forums.

Indeed, this I agree with ... have sent a few, and received a few ... myself.

quote:

I write a message the way I would like to receive a message. Courtesy & politeness, concepts that should be innate within all of us, but, seem to be lacking in some people. If a person's over eighteen & still needs advice on these things, they're in a bad way.

Well ... maybe 21 ... after all, he could be a late bloomer!

quote:

I very rarely read other members profiles, paradoxically only after I've known them for a while

Oh, here is where we differ. I do get into "hunting mode" at times; and browse CM for profiles of Ladies who are interesting. I hate to say this ... but I read them, NOT JUST look at pictures! LOL Honestly, I focus on pictures only when I am interested in the writing and the common qualities of interest to me.

Then too, good writers tend to appreciate me more!

quote:

In my experience, in my time with CM, I have received replies to most of the messages I have sent, &, if some of the stories I've been told are true, the Ladies here are gratified to receive a message typed with two hands every now & again .

So if you want a reply to your pm's, use courtesy, politeness & be interesting, & you won't go far wrong.

Right on target Gary!

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 8/27/2013 4:24:45 PM >

_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to garyFLR)

Post #: 49

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/27/2013 11:58:42 PM

naughtynick81

Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

If there was some knowledge about a man being a millionaire, I can just imagine how all these standards and rules would suddenly change.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

Post #: 50

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 12:20:27 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

If there was some knowledge about a man being a millionaire, I can just imagine how all these standards and rules would suddenly change.

Even if they had all the money ever minted, whiny fuckwits with the social skills of a boiled potato and a perpetual victim complex are still going to have trouble finding people who want to be with them.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to naughtynick81)

Post #: 51

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 1:12:33 AM

metamorfosis

Posts: 1132
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: friendsub17
even if she doesnt contact right away, and does she consider the profile
for a while before she sends a message

I think it's safe to assume if she doesn't message right away, she's probably not considering the profile.

I would re-write yours, focusing on your skills (such as cooking, landscaping, housework). Explain the type of person you are and the type of person you're seeking. Explain why you want to serve somebody. Let your personality shine through. Confidence, sense of humor, intelligence, and tact are all pluses.

Pics are nice, but should be in keeping with the rest of the profile. In other words, don't say "you're looking for a serious, long term connection based on intelligence and personal compatibility" and then go on to post nothing but cock shots.

Good luck.

Also: Consider contacting them.

< Message edited by metamorfosis -- 8/28/2013 1:20:50 AM >

_____________________________

Pam (aka gungadin09)

Forum Freak

(in reply to friendsub17)

Post #: 52

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 3:33:56 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
From a man's POV, the bad part is that we have to put forth effort. The good part is that we get to choose who we contact. I'd rather have to initiate contact than have to wade through dozens of messages from incompatible people, and reject them.

True - and something I hadn't realised till I took over the running of a femdom profile some time ago. I found the experience so grotty and depressing that I gave it up after a few weeks. But most of the men who wrote to this femdom weren't just incompatible, they didn't even write to her in a way that treated her as human. 'Cold' is the word that sums it up best.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 53

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 4:58:18 AM

naughtynick81

Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

they didn't even write to her in a way that treated her as human.

It's not really treating someone like a "human" when you consider them unworthy because they aren't better than most of the male population. As for being expected to have these superior standards that only a minority of man have or else you're not worthy.

< Message edited by naughtynick81 -- 8/28/2013 5:02:02 AM >

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 54

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 5:19:51 AM

naughtynick81

Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

If I was to openly say that a woman isn't worthy because she is over weight, I wouldn't expect replies that weren't angry. I would get responses that veer towards, how dare I express that!

But as political correct thinking goes these days:

When men judge women based on their looks, it's easily defined as "lookism,"
"sexism" and "oppression."

When women judge men based on their looks and their salaries, it's easily defined as
"dating."

(in reply to naughtynick81)

Post #: 55

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 5:21:51 AM

naughtynick81

Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

The funny thing is, there are many very over weight middle aged women on here who expect a man who they would hear about in a romance novel.

(in reply to naughtynick81)

Post #: 56

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 5:57:05 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

If I was to openly say that a woman isn't worthy because she is over weight, I wouldn't expect replies that weren't angry. I would get responses that veer towards, how dare I express that!

But as political correct thinking goes these days:

When men judge women based on their looks, it's easily defined as "lookism,"
"sexism" and "oppression."

When women judge men based on their looks and their salaries, it's easily defined as
"dating."

When I was searching, I had a full body (clothed) shot of myself in front of Cinderella's castle at DisneyWorld taken two days before I completed the Princess Half Marathon. I'm a big girl and while I don't list my weight in my profile, I didn't hide it either (thus the full body shot...see below). I had no problem with men who would pass me by because they preferred thinner women (I've since lost 70 lbs and have more to go, but I know that physically I'm not everyone's cup of tea). There were men, however, who would take time out of there day for no other reason to inform me that I was fat and would never find someone and was worthless because of it.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to naughtynick81)

Post #: 57

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 6:30:47 AM

naughtynick81

Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

S4m, the point I want to make is that there is high sensitivity if a man was to judge dommes/women in such blatant and shallow fashions that's acceptable when women do it to men. On the other hand, it seems all perfectly okay to nitpick men and judge every nook and cranny about a man to dismiss him. That is far from treating someone as a proper human being.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 58

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 11:29:44 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

When I was searching, I had a full body (clothed) shot of myself in front of Cinderella's castle at DisneyWorld taken two days before I completed the Princess Half Marathon.

Wowie zowie! You are my hero!

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 59

RE: will a mistress read my profile - 8/28/2013 11:48:15 AM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

When I was searching, I had a full body (clothed) shot of myself in front of Cinderella's castle at DisneyWorld taken two days before I completed the Princess Half Marathon. I'm a big girl and while I don't list my weight in my profile, I didn't hide it either (thus the full body shot...see below). I had no problem with men who would pass me by because they preferred thinner women (I've since lost 70 lbs and have more to go, but I know that physically I'm not everyone's cup of tea). There were men, however, who would take time out of there day for no other reason to inform me that I was fat and would never find someone and was worthless because of it.

I think you're lovely, so there...

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 60

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