MiladyLily
Posts: 16
Joined: 4/24/2006 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold My experience has been one of what we often point out as "sub frenzy". Even though many boys feel they are over it, they are not. They may not be in the "frenzy" any longer, but the fantasy expectation still lives on. And they are very afraid of moving from behind the monitor and keyboard and into real time. It is all about the being submissive or slavish, which should be a natural part of themselves that they joyfully give, and less about an actual relationship in which they are supremely happy, even though it is not the typical relationship. Most of the boys I have interacted with, even briefly, have hit Me wrong. It is hard to describe, but there is never any patience about getting to know someone or about taking the time to develop a real relationship. It has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with communication. Either they can't communicate at all, or else they can only communicate about "What would you do to me?", "How would this or that work?". It is not that these are not valid and important questions. It is that these are the only questions. And, always, the hints about how the Domina should be reacting, or what She might be wearing, or "How many toys are in the toy bag and which are your favorites?" is all that keeps coming up as any sort of solid question. In other words, and I am sure I am putting this poorly, there is no real flow of energy. I have received too many petitions over the years. I have met too many boys for coffee, or lunch, or dinner...and the feeling just isn't there. It takes a lot of trial and error. Mostly error. I can play with anybody I enjoy and with whom I feel safe. But that emotional connection is very elusive. It is easy to play for an hour or two. It is not so easy to live day to day, and completely accept and love Me for who I am and vice versa. In the time I have been on this site alone (I have other sources for petition) I have probably received about 3000+ letters and notes. Mostly one liners asking Me to chat or cam. I believe I have had maybe 6 boys that I seriously considered, although there were more that made it to the telephone with Me as I continued to take that flying leap of faith. They always wash out very quickly. Because I was not being viewed as a Woman who is also Dominant...I was being viewed as the hot Lady who would do kinky things, provide a roof, and make a fantasy come true. And the fantasy of this lifestyle! So much romanticism and unrealistic expectations. Well, I can't even get into that! However, the boys who did get on the telephone with Me, and got past the fantasy, suddenly found they did not so easily obey, and complained about when they could call or something simple I asked for them to do (as easy as reading an article onlione so we could discuss it) and they never have the time, or things come up, or they are too tired. Not just once, as there can always be an exception, but over and over and over. The boys do not seem to want to put any work into creating a viable relationship. They want instant Domina of Dreams to be commanding them to pack up and move. *Sigh* Of course, if that even happend (which it would not with Me! *Smile*) then we would have the reasons why moving is not possible. Etc., Etc., Etc. i could certainly relate to what you have said here. sometimes i feel like the submissive male is like the unicorn, a creature of fantasy that does not really exist. i have definitely met men with some submissive tendencies, but they all seemed to expect a domme to turn it on and off like a water faucet.
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