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Smile! - 8/29/2013 9:05:01 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

quote:

Men who tell me to "smile"!

///////////////////////////


This is a bigger complaint than most men realize.

http://amptoons.com/blog/2004/10/07/smile-damn-you-smile/

/////////////////////////////


This deserves an off-topic thread to itself!! Thanks for the link!
/////////////////////////////

How annoying do the women here find this? Random strangers telling you how to rearrange your face?

Have any of you men actually heard this from someone you don't know on the street?

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 11:30:06 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		fuck right off!

needles

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 11:34:23 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		ok so the above is how i'd like to respond, but mostly I give the responses that I gave in the other thread.

i hate being told what i should be doing to please someone else. i'm not working or anything either. I've had this from bus drivers too. just take my money and give me the ticket so i can sit down already.

my face is just in neutral but keep going and you're about to change my gear into scowl!

needles

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 12:00:41 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		Uh, how about being told "Smile or I am going to have to take you over my knee and give you something to smile about."

Actually, I never tell a woman to smile if I dont know her, and if I do know her, I usually ask if something is wrong.

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 12:31:05 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		The smile command doesn't bother me so much and I'll usually comply (sometimes with a sarcastic over-the-top one depending on my mood or the person).
Usually, though, I'm one of those people that always smiles at people I make eye contact with so it's not too often I hear it.

What bothers me more, which is similar, is when someone comes up, random stranger or not, and asks "What's wrong?"
I didn't know something had to be wrong if I'm just sitting there thinking or relaxing without a smile on my face.

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 12:52:47 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		I've had this happen to me. When its just someone you're
passing on the street it doesn't faze me much. I've had
worse things said to me while walking down the street.
Vulgar things, aggressive things. It's probably usually meant
well. Of course the guy who compliments your ass or your
breasts and the guy who screams in your face about the
coming apocolypse probably would say that they meant well to.

The only time I remember being really put out by it was once
at work. I had some bad news and was barely keeping myself
together before closing. I had to chew the inside of my mouth
to keep from saying "Fuck off!"

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 1:25:02 PM   
slavekate80


Posts: 362
Joined: 7/4/2013
Status: offline 		Telling me that I look down or like something is wrong (whether it's "smile!" or "are you OK? you look upset") is pretty much guaranteed to make my mood worse. Not much worse, but it's enough to take me from neutral to a little peeved or a little self-conscious. So if the goal is to cheer me up, it has the opposite effect, and I probably was fine to begin with.

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 2:52:25 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Along the same lines are people who tell me (TELL ME!) to have a good one.

First of all - good one what?
and who put them in charge of ordering random strangers to have a good one?

What happens if I don't have "a good one"? Do the Good One Police come after me and discipline me until I DO have a good one?
Is there an official government department in charge of monitoring people having good ones. Does my tax money go toward financing this department, and are there daily goals that they have to attain? If they don't ensure that enough people have a good one, Are there ramifications? What are those ramifications, and how do they affect the day-to-day running of the country?

and lastly, if I order someone to have a good one, can I specify what good one they have?
Its all so complicated!

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 3:21:12 PM   
tommonymous


Posts: 404
Joined: 1/21/2013
Status: offline 		I don't get the "Smile!" comment. What I get is people avoiding me like I have either The Sickness or a strong desire to visit physical harm on someone/ something. (In their defense, sometimes I do have that desire. But, I also have self-control.)

I'm not sure if I'd rather be assumed to be approachable with my relaxed face and get The Dreaded Comment, or have people avoid me altogether with my relaxed face because they feel better safe than sorry...

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 3:53:19 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		People tell me to smile.... I need a reason though...
Chances are if I'm not smiling I'm not really enjoying myself, and telling me to smile has just made it worse, not only am I now not enjoying myself (or just not feeling particularly smiley) but now I also have someone coming up to me, giving me a hard time...

Tell me a joke! Start a conversation with me! But if all you've got is "Smile", how bout you just leave my grouchy ass alone...

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 4:21:28 PM   
stef


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

Uh, how about being told "Smile or I am going to have to take you over my knee and give you something to smile about."

I would ask if you had a preference as to which emergency room you were sent to.

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 6:49:02 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Interestingly, I wasn't bothered when my ballet teachers told me to smile, but I did get irritated when I waitressed and my male customers told me this.

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 8:31:00 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I've been told this when i was younger, and it always seemed to be an older man. Guys my age didn't do it, neither did other women, and as I've aged I can't say it happens anymore. Why the hell does a stranger think he's got the right to command me to change my face to suit him? I don't get it.

And the order to smile is many times followed by the comment, "That wasn't so bad was it?"

Grrrrrrr.....


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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 8:43:38 PM   
zubedangina


Posts: 39
Joined: 7/18/2010
Status: offline 		People telling me to smile has always been one of my pet peeves, and people of all ages and both sexes have been guilty of telling me to do it. Which never fails to tick me off. My dad was dating this woman once. When I finally met her, one of the first things she did was tell me to smile. I was thinking, well, don't like this one.

On the other hand, I worked at Subway, and should have been smiling at the customers. I usually tried, but I hated the job and my coworkers, so sometimes after the initial greeting the smile went away. If a customer did order me to smile, I usually humored them, even if I thought bad thoughts towards them as a result. After all, they were paying 7 plus dollars for a sandwich, the least they could get was a smile.

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RE: Smile! - 8/29/2013 9:52:15 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Doesn't bother me at all to hear it - I figure it's good intentions.

Many many years ago I was driving home from work and at a stop light. I didn't realize what a major scowl I was wearing on my face. An old man pulled up next to me with the biggest smile on his face, and exclaimed, "SMILE!!!" It cracked me up. Once I started laughing I realized how tight and tense my face had been from frowning. I appreciated it! Put me in a good mood after a hard day. I'll speak for myself, but sometimes I could use a reminder.

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RE: Smile! - 8/30/2013 4:10:07 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		i remember once pulling into a fast food drive through place, i was probably thinking very gloomy thoughts, being in a rough part of marriage/divorce. i was looking ahead into 'nothing', and just happened to notice a clown waving at me. the car ahead of me was vibrantly bright, and had 2 professional kids clowns in it. he wasn't really telling me to smile, but i remember i did smile at the pure absurdity of it.

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RE: Smile! - 8/30/2013 4:38:04 AM   
JeffBC


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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5
Have any of you men actually heard this from someone you don't know on the street?

To my knowledge I've never heard any stranger say that to any other. I admit to some skepticism there though because this is exactly the sort of thing that flies under the cultural radar if you don't know to look for it.

If I saw some woman looking unhappy and for lord only knows what reason I wanted to get involved I'd open up with a question not a command. Reading this thread I find that even that question can be offensive but I'm gonna stick with "try to be a caring individual as best as I can suss out in any given situation."

If someone told me to smile I'd take it like Nueva said... I try to deal with intentions as best I'm able.

I gotta admit though that link didn't work for me or I couldn't make any sense of it. That blog and 3 or 4 that it links to could all use a web designer... badly.

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RE: Smile! - 8/30/2013 4:51:09 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		FR

I've not heard it from people on the street but customers at work say stuff like that all the time. It goes along with the 'humorous' banter. Generally I try to act pretty chirpy around them anyway.

One that does grate on me though is 'cheer up, it might never happen'.

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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Smile! - 8/30/2013 8:10:54 AM   
Marc2b


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Joined: 8/7/2006
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quote:

I gotta admit though that link didn't work for me or I couldn't make any sense of it. That blog and 3 or 4 that it links to could all use a web designer... badly.


It is an old post so it is not surprising that some of its' links are broken. While it could use a tweaking here and there (its search engine is pretty poor), overall I find it to be an excellent blog. That blog is one of the causes of my leftward drift in recent years.

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RE: Smile! - 8/30/2013 8:57:48 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b
It is an old post so it is not surprising that some of its' links are broken. While it could use a tweaking here and there (its search engine is pretty poor), overall I find it to be an excellent blog. That blog is one of the causes of my leftward drift in recent years.

*nods* Well in this case I never did find the source material so I don't actually have any idea what we're talking about here other than men telling women to smile.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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