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To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/29/2013 6:27:13 PM   
dublinemma


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
Status: offline 		So was lurking and something caught my interest in another thread regarding a slave hunt. In particular, Jeff's interest as to whether a sub would want to be used by strangers who paid €30 to get into a kink event I think is the way he put it :P

So would you as a sub be interested in this and, likewise, would doms be interested in putting a sub in this position?

Personally, I have always had a fantasy of being 'loaned' or used by others because my master wanted me to be. Glory hole, whore for the day would all be things that sound so hot in the moment. However, I do think that it's one of them fantasies that in reality won't give me that warm fuzzy feeling I want (apart from the herpes rash afterwards). I think realistically what I would like is a mind fuck. To believe that I am being used by a complete stranger at his request, or whatever the case may be. However, after the fantasy has been fully played out to be told that this was someone he has known for years and there was no risk etc. I would imagine that if this wasn't the case then I would feel a lot of resentment towards him, the major factor being that he essentially put me at risk. Emotionally, I can't see it being very good for me either.

Have you ever done this? Thoughts or opinions encouraged! :)
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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/29/2013 7:34:10 PM   
Oneechan


Posts: 50
Joined: 8/31/2012
Status: offline 		as a sub, yes. i think random usage would be fun =) condoms would be a necessity though. i only do unprotected things with a select few close partners

i'm probably a bit wierd since i work as an escort, and i'm naturally used to sex with random strangers anyways. not everyone is so uninhibited.

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/29/2013 8:37:48 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Reading this with interest.

From the other thread I think a key part of this is defining what, exactly "used" means. Although I still wouldn't allow Carol to be used for cooking without direct supervision by me or some other dom who knew Carol and I trusted. The problem there is that she really is very submissive and even without any bad intentions doms who don't know what they're getting into can get in trouble with her. Then I look over and see the woman I love with a "cornered" look in her eyes and that gets all my hackles up then the party becomes un-fun for everyone.

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/29/2013 10:18:04 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		It's a big fantasy of mine, but like you I don't think I would like it so much in real life with real people.

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/29/2013 10:23:30 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Oops, already answered that in the other thread before I saw this thread but here goes.

That slave hunt idea totally turned me off, in and of itself (I'd just walk to the finish line and say "I'm here."). Him handing me off to someone who paid someone ELSE for an event, doesn't do much for me, but him handing me off to someone for his OWN benefit, oh yeah. I like the idea. Whether someone paid him directly or he bartered me out for services...hot hot hot. But he won't do it.

My ex owner bartered me out for a hotel discount - intercourse wasn't involved but the dude played hard with me with a dildo, and did other stuff. Another guy I was seeing (after ex owner dude) set up a gang bang in which I was blindfolded and did not see the other men at all. He casually knew the guys from some swingers events. It was awesome.



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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/29/2013 11:05:12 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
My ex owner bartered me out for a hotel discount - intercourse wasn't involved but the dude played hard with me with a dildo, and did other stuff. Another guy I was seeing (after ex owner dude) set up a gang bang in which I was blindfolded and did not see the other men at all. He casually knew the guys from some swingers events. It was awesome.

You have mail.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/29/2013 11:33:31 PM   
dublinemma


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
Status: offline 		NuevaVida you have pretty much just described some of my fantasies, that would be kind of what I personally would define as being 'used' as Jeff. Nueva, I think it's amazing that you did that, so uninhibited or something, it's cool! Like I said, I love the idea of that and I would love to think that had happened for a certain period of time but for the reality to be that it was only him and maybe one other person that we both knew. I suppose even though I would love to do it like you describe, my fear would be that I wouldn't be mentally able to deal with the emotional ramifications. However, I am slightly in awe/jealous of you right now!!

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/29/2013 11:49:30 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma
I suppose even though I would love to do it like you describe, my fear would be that I wouldn't be mentally able to deal with the emotional ramifications. However, I am slightly in awe/jealous of you right now!!

As a forward looking thing here's something you might find interesting. Doing such a thing with Carol right now would be horrific to her. But Carol is very, very malleable in my hands. So I'd rewire her first and then she would have a positive experience. With Carol I could probably do that near instantly (yeah, I've laid some pre-groundwork though). In the hands of the right dom (and one you really, really trust for very good reasons with long experience to back that up) the dom can help you through it if you want... or in Carol's case... whether or not she wants.

In case I didn't make my caution clear enough, I consider that sort of thing one of the more dangerous things you could possibly do in BDSM... allowing someone else to have that sort of control over you. Do it wisely if you choose to do it. Don't EVER do it on the basis of instant new-relationship trust. But if you find the right guy there's one possible path for you.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/30/2013 12:06:43 AM   
dublinemma


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
Status: offline 		I completely get what you mean Jeff and it would be the kind of relationship I would ideally want to be in at some stage down the line. One where I would have that complete sense of trust and willingness to do what he wants without hesitation due to the level of trust I have in him.

And in fairness the handy thing about being submissive is you can just ignore that little voice in your head that says it was wrong because it's not your fault, you were 'forced' to, ha! Although I'm beginning to think it's more about that 'forced' part not being there and doing it despite the angel on your shoulder saying no! I'm having some random 2 days with no sleep thoughts right now though :P

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/30/2013 12:29:50 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma
And in fairness the handy thing about being submissive is you can just ignore that little voice in your head that says it was wrong because it's not your fault, you were 'forced' to, ha!

LOL - always handy (so long as we all understand an actual sense of morality and ethics is important).

I'm not sure if what I do with Carol would be what you're looking for based on your post. There is no "force". There's just me changing what the angel on her shoulder says. That's why it's so dangerous. She does have a strong sense of honor, morality, & ethics. And within broad limits it's mine to control. But the "force" part would only exist during the change and even then she probably wouldn't experience it that way.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to dublinemma)
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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/30/2013 6:18:33 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma

NuevaVida you have pretty much just described some of my fantasies, that would be kind of what I personally would define as being 'used' as Jeff. Nueva, I think it's amazing that you did that, so uninhibited or something, it's cool! Like I said, I love the idea of that and I would love to think that had happened for a certain period of time but for the reality to be that it was only him and maybe one other person that we both knew. I suppose even though I would love to do it like you describe, my fear would be that I wouldn't be mentally able to deal with the emotional ramifications. However, I am slightly in awe/jealous of you right now!!

I was worried about the mental/emotional ramifications afterwards, too, in entering the gang bang situation. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous going into it.

But I reminded myself that it was something I had been fantasizing about for a long time, and was now being given the opportunity to experience. For me it was for fun - I wasn't committed to the guy and it was a concept that I had come up with on my own (so it wasn't being pushed on me or anything like that). So it was more like, "I wanted this, so enjoy it". I did ask him, beforehand, and I asked my closest friend, too, if I had struggles afterwards, would they help me through it, and both said absolutely. Turns out there were no negative ramifications to deal with, afterwards.

One thing I'll add about your comment of ignoring that voice in your head - - Based on my own experiences, I am strongly opposed to that concept. Those voices are there for a reason, and once you start ignoring them, you enter into dangerous ground, emotionally. Instead, recognize them, understand what they're saying and why, and process through them. Know yourself - don't ignore yourself. Trust me when I say it was a very intense process for me to begin to trust that voice in my head again, and to forgive myself for ignoring it for so long. It was toxic to my core to have ignored myself to the point of no longer knowing or trusting myself. I don't recommend it.

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/30/2013 3:10:13 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Since I find the majority of people in the world to be gross in some manner or sorts, meaning I don't find them attractive nor do I find them good enough to want to fuck, I would not want to be used by random strangers. I'd be cringing the entire time and probably want to take a zillion showers afterwards and the whole thought would just make me sick to my stomach.

Now this is enough to turn Master on and that would be his choice and he would have to live with the consequences of whatever happened which is the only reason I could see him not doing it.


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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/30/2013 3:16:12 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

It's a big fantasy of mine, but like you I don't think I would like it so much in real life with real people.



Bingo!!!


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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/30/2013 10:05:28 PM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma
So would you as a sub be interested in this and, likewise, would doms be interested in putting a sub in this position?

No. Personally, I have zero interest in being handed over to strangers--or to anyone, really. The idea of anyone but my Master "using" me is incredibly unappealing to me, and even just the idea that he would allow or want anything like that is nothing short of hurtful. He is possessive and protective of me, in a way that makes me feel very secure and valued; those feelings would shatter if he were to all the sudden have no issue with others having me.

Thankfully, he and I are on the same page with this. He has no interest in and would never lend me out or hand me over to someone else.

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/31/2013 2:52:41 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

Have you ever done this? Thoughts or opinions encouraged! :)


When samdarella and I were first "dating", I took my slave-to-be to a party where some of my friends were attending. Several of the girls took a fancy to her and gave me the nod, so I granted permission and told my slave to sit and spread her legs. Long and short of it, there were 3 or 4 girls between her legs taking my fresh slave meat for a test drive. That was first for her and she said she liked it a lot. She was nervous about all those strangers up in her snatch at first, but I reached out and gave her a reassuring touch. She said my touch had a strong effect on her, steadied her, helped her relax and orgasm.



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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/31/2013 4:30:06 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		The risk would far outweigh the thought. The thought in itself is offensive to me. It defines itself to a total disregard of respect to my body and a breakdown to the mind. My thoughts would be where have these people been? if they do this so easily, lack discipline, then I very well might be sleeping with 100 people not just a few. I understand people do have those fantasies but not a man alive is going to take me in that destructive direction of self/body. A very easy choice for me.

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/31/2013 5:56:28 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Risk . . . "destructive direction" . . . ever heard of safe sex practices??? How can sharing passion, or sex, or orgasms be disregard or disrespect to your body? Orgasms are good, clinically proven even.

As far as sleeping with a hundred people, you better up that number considerably. I ain't no virgin or some prude. If you count the 70s, tack 1,000 or 1,500 onto your best guess because I was a performer in the music industry and we were all a loose bunch. Having sex with a couple of Master's female friends at a party . . . how is that the path to destruction?

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/31/2013 7:25:42 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Risk . . . "destructive direction" . . . ever heard of safe sex practices??? How can sharing passion, or sex, or orgasms be disregard or disrespect to your body? Orgasms are good, clinically proven even.

As far as sleeping with a hundred people, you better up that number considerably. I ain't no virgin or some prude. If you count the 70s, tack 1,000 or 1,500 onto your best guess because I was a performer in the music industry and we were all a loose bunch. Having sex with a couple of Master's female friends at a party . . . how is that the path to destruction?



Is this a serious question truly?

For me it is not about safe sex practices. I was only answering the extent I have for strange. The answer is zero. Its just a life code I live by.


_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/31/2013 7:32:30 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We went to a shibari workshop recently. Two day event. First day, people were partnered. Second day, the person who runs the dungeon where it was held pushed people to change partners. I was very clear that I wasn't interested in doing that. I don't do casual. I don't want strange.

If he wanted to top someone else, then I would have taken the car up to the mall while he was so doing.

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RE: To what extent would you crave a bit of 'strange' - 8/31/2013 7:40:12 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Luckily for me, I have been able to live out my fantasies, figuratively, not literally, with my ex. This was the only positive aspect of my relationship with him and it kept me hooked for far too long.

Meaning, my experiences with him were so intense in a physical and mental sense, that the feelings of the fantasies came alive with him.

That was a good thing, since I doubt I could find the fantasies for real.

I did the same for him, although both our fantasies were better left as fantasies because of certain dangerous aspects.

So to answer the OP, nope, I don't crave a bit of "strange", I crave someone I can trust and who understands my fantasies enough that he can realize them just between us.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 8/31/2013 7:41:45 AM >

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